Yesterday was hell but today I'm fine without you...(I'm working on it, anyway)

[catharsiskat]

Ok, so yesterday's post was really angsty and spur of the moment ranting...ish. After actually being level-headed and THINKING for once...I just need to get the fuck over myself. So he doesn't want to be with me. It's not the end of the world. I need to get over it and stop acting like he frickin died or something. So what if he lied? I've done it before too. I tend to play the martyr way too much. And you know what? It ends NOW. I'm sick of people constantly being like, "Wow that really sucks. Can I kill him now?" I mean, I complain a hell of a lot...and I get that response often...but it shouldn't be like that at all. It's no one's issue but my own. I need to get the fuck over myself and try to be happy again, damn it!! I'm making myself miserable by mourning the fact that he doesn't want me. So what? I'm in HIGH SCHOOL. We wouldn't've worked out anyway. I just complain about it all the time because I like to hear myself talk and I like being the center of attention. It needs to stop NOW. He's happy (I hope), and he's not with me...what the fuck can I do about it that would make things any better? NOTHING. I need to move on. I need to concentrate on finishing the school year, getting ready for college, and getting British Mike over here this summer (=P love you buddy). Bottom line: he is not my life anymore. I don't need him to be happy.

(Yes, this was largely a pep talk for myself, but I fully intend to fulfill this speech. If anyone sees/hears me doing anything I've condemned above, please slap me.)