Breaking points

[sblmnldrknss]

What is your breaking point on getting rid of a pet? Dog? Cat? Are they different? I don't mean moving or allergies, but I mean animal behaviors.

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Comments

[amazonvera]

If they're dangerously aggressive and I've tried every available training method, professional behaviorist, etc. without success or progress.

[amazonvera]

In response to your edit, have you taken her to any training or behavioral classes? Contacted a behaviorist?

[sblmnldrknss]

We called two places, both which said they didn't think their program would generate a response to her situation.
Additionally, I don't feel comfortable having her around while going through training, not unless she's in the crate 24/7.

[amazonvera]

It sounds like you have an otherwise good dog with an (understandable) anxiety problem. When you get a rescue dog, you don't know their past and there's an implicit agreement to put some extra effort in and help them work through some issues. Rehoming a dog, as has already happened at least once with this animal, is very stressful for them and is bound to make things worse for her, not better.

I'd encourage you to keep looking for a class or a behaviorist. There are cases far worse than what you're describing where behavioral training has worked. Keep your dogs separated in the mean time and make sure the "problem" dog is getting plenty of exercise. Being cooped up in a crate 24-7, even when you're there to supervise, is likely to make things far worse, even in the meantime.

[sblmnldrknss]

You're right. Being crated isn't good for her, but the risk to my kids and other animal and self aren't worth it.
And yes, certainly I realize that with a rescue dog there are a lot of variables and unknowns. However, this has gotten progressively worse over time, and it seems to be about my husband. He's not a variable we can change. And while training may work, I don't 'trust' that training would make her safe ENOUGH to be around my kids again. Not after three things happening between yesterday and today.
She IS a good dog, which is what makes this so hard. But a mostly good dog that occasionally violently flies off the handle is unacceptable.

[sblmnldrknss]

I should add that she's also been on "puppy prozac" for a while now to try and deal with her anxiety related stomach issues, which is something we were willing to work with even though it is AWFUL. But violence is not ok.

[amazonvera]

Then supervise her and isolate her. Don't let your kids or the other dog around her. But crating her like that just makes her more anxious and likely to be aggressive. She needs exercise and redirection, and you need more assistance and information on how to help her.

You're husband doesn't need to be changed. Your dog's attitude toward him needs to, and that is a variable you absolutely can address.

To answer the original question with the added information you've given, no, I absolutely wouldn't dump my dog. I wouldn't feel I'd done nearly enough to fulfill my responsibility to her.

[sblmnldrknss]

If you close her in a room she scratches the door and door frame. She can also climb an 8 foot fence, so gates are totally not an option. She bent the metal irreperably on two regular crates, so she has a plastic hard side one now, which she hasn't been able to get out of.... yet.

We haven't "dumped" her. The issues with her started last April, and we have worked through a LOT of things with her, including taking the advice given to us by professionals to get a second dog, specifically a puppy, and I DID NOT want to get a puppy. But because we were told it would help her, we did.

When she gets upset about something(like being closed in a room) she gets explosive diarrhea. That's why she's on the puppy prozac, and it's helped some, but has not entirely resolved the issue.

[amazonvera]

I said to isolate her from the kids and other animal, not shut her up. I'm assuming that your children (and the other non-anxiety ridden dog) don't scratch the door frame when inside a room, aren't home all the time, and that the dog is capable of leaving the house (like for a nice, long run) without them. Your dog has shown you that confining her makes her worse, as would be expected with an anxiety issue, and you still keep going to that as an answer.

As with humans, medication won't "entirely resolve the issue." She needs training and exercise and help addressing her anxiety, not making it worse.

At this point, I'm torn between encouraging you to rehome the animal to someone better equipped to help her and feeling like surrendering her is likely to be a death sentence because of the condition you're leaving her in.

[sblmnldrknss]

She HAS had training, I already said that. We did take her to a dog trainer already. Two, actually. The second one is the one who said they didn't think the issue could be resolved without a second dog, which is why we ended up with Teddy

[amazonvera]

No, you didn't say you'd gotten her training. In fact, when asked specifically about it, you said two places told you know and you weren't comfortable having her around if you did pursue it, didn't "trust" training, etc. Which makes me think that either you haven't gotten her training at all or that "taking" her to a trainer entailed isolated consultation, not on-going training.

If your family situation and husband's ill-health don't allow you to give this dog the help she needs and you acknowledge that she's gotten progressively worse under your care, not better, then you should give her up. But don't blame it one the dog or act like she's unfixable. Certainly don't characterize it that way to people you're attempting to surrender her to if you have any concern for her future. Be honest about her problem behaviors, but be equally honest about the ways in which you couldn't/didn't help her. Try to find a rescue that deals specifically with dogs from troubled backgrounds. I wish your dog the best.

[sblmnldrknss]

That's been more recently with these latest problems, not the same things that happened previously

[amazonvera]

You came to a debate community. You said you had an anxious dog that had gotten progressively worse under you care. You said that you hadn't gotten professional help for these later emerging issues that are causing you to want to surrender her. You said that over the course of the time you've had her you've been dealing with family needs that prevented you from giving her the kind of intensive, one-on-one interaction and exercise she's needed, and have been cooping her up by necessity, including being in her crate around the clock most recently.

Fine. Okay. But own it, and don't try to get all wounded when you get called on it in a debate community that you asked to comment on it. And certainly don't sit here and say that you're going to surrender the dog while divulging all of her faults in this situation and not of your own. Your pride is not more important than this dog being allowed to live and get help

[sblmnldrknss]

"You came to a debate community. You said you had an anxious dog that had gotten progressively worse under you care. You said that you hadn't gotten professional help for these later emerging issues that are causing you to want to surrender her. You said that over the course of the time you've had her you've been dealing with family needs that prevented you from giving her the kind of intensive, one-on-one interaction and exercise she's needed, and have been cooping her up by necessity, including being in her crate around the clock most recently

[amazonvera]

You called two trainers and they didn't want to take your case. That's hardly "mission accomplished" and you know it.

Make up your mind, does your husband work crazy hours so neither of you're both strapped for time, or is he unemployed so that your hardships are so considerable?

Aggression is absolutely not "something else altogether" when it comes to dog anxiety, and the sheer ignorance of that statement tells me an awful lot about how much help and information you got to deal with this dog.

Surrender the dog to a qualified rescue. Tell them that while not aggressive when you got her, she became aggressive later and that you did not/could not take her to on-going training when her anxiety got worse. Tell them that you didn't have one-on-one time to give her because of your family situation and that you "had to" shut her up and she got even worse. In other words, tell them the truth so they can help her, not the convenient "this dog can't be helped" story that makes you feel better.

No one in your family is about to be put down

[sblmnldrknss]

Sweet jesus, your reading comprehension sucks. Last spring through this past fall my husband was sick AND unemployed. He is now healthy AND employed AND works shit hours.

And yes, aggression IS something else altogether, and every rescue I've talked to and every dog trainer(four altogether, are you keeping count?) has said so. At the point that she was IN training, we were dealing with her nervous anxiety, not her possessive aggression.

She was aggressive within a month of getting her, so yes, she came to us that way. I'm not going to lie to a rescue because you think it's the nice thing to do. I have an ongoing relationship with the woman who runs the rescue here where we got the puppy. She is well aware of what has gone on with Ellie all along the way.

And again, I crated her THIS MORNING. Why are you making shit up?!

Annnnnd again, I never said she can't be "helped," but I said I can't trust her again.