its britney, bitch
Jeez. Do you have any idea how impossible it to to feign glamor when you're cruising around Middle Tennessee in a 1995 ford escort? (see figure 1 below, except the image shows the 1999 model) In 85% humidity? Lemme tell you, I consider myself somewhat of a pimp, but my pimpiness was compromised on an essential level. My Jackie-O's, which are ususally seamlessly integrated into my outward portrayal of indifference and disdain, made me feel as though I was wearing a ball gown to a yard sale. I was having an existential crisis of bionic proportions... in Tennessee!
Also, a bit of FYI - peach flavored papers make weed taste like bad cough syrup. Just sayin. On the same vein, I have recruited the BedMate to my my personal joint roller. Welcome to the entourage, be sure to pick up your sunglasses next to the bar.
There were many things about the South that I did enjoy however. All of them were male. There is a type of boy that The BedMate refers to as 'Bama Boys... you know... the chaps from Alabama? A bit ape-ish, very masculine, muscle-y and crazy HOT. Well, you see, in Middle Tennessee, ALL the boys are 'Bama boys - Even the queenies that wait tables at Red Robin. They were all hair flips and swishy hips, but they had biceps and booty for DAYS. Damn. There is something about white boys with ghetto booty....
The dude I was seeing... well, I can conclude that he is a a real-life, true to stereotype-redneck. I can say that on a public post and be safe, wanna know why? Because he will never use a computer, let alone sign on to my blog. And, plus, I flew all the way to Nashville and DIDN'T GET LAID, so I feel entitled to do all the mean name calling I want. It's God's way.
Um... a new dilemma..... I didn't have a chance to trim my shoulders... should I ditch nakey yoga?
So.... Brit at the VMAs..... She's still Madame Tubs, and she totally looks WASTED. She looks like she's about to fall the feck over and her lip sync is WHACK... I am just glad to see her NOT hanging out with Paris anymore. The more I watch the video, the worse she looks.... Shes about to fall over in parts.
Why the HELL didn't anyone tell me how crazy-hot Criss Angel is.... I had to see him on Montel, for Pete's sake.
Ok. Back to Final Destination 3 and my stats homework.
I'm throwing all my clothes away and starting over. I am very zen that way. The haircut failed the humidity test, btw. Still a fro.
Also, a bit of FYI - peach flavored papers make weed taste like bad cough syrup. Just sayin. On the same vein, I have recruited the BedMate to my my personal joint roller. Welcome to the entourage, be sure to pick up your sunglasses next to the bar.
There were many things about the South that I did enjoy however. All of them were male. There is a type of boy that The BedMate refers to as 'Bama Boys... you know... the chaps from Alabama? A bit ape-ish, very masculine, muscle-y and crazy HOT. Well, you see, in Middle Tennessee, ALL the boys are 'Bama boys - Even the queenies that wait tables at Red Robin. They were all hair flips and swishy hips, but they had biceps and booty for DAYS. Damn. There is something about white boys with ghetto booty....
The dude I was seeing... well, I can conclude that he is a a real-life, true to stereotype-redneck. I can say that on a public post and be safe, wanna know why? Because he will never use a computer, let alone sign on to my blog. And, plus, I flew all the way to Nashville and DIDN'T GET LAID, so I feel entitled to do all the mean name calling I want. It's God's way.
Um... a new dilemma..... I didn't have a chance to trim my shoulders... should I ditch nakey yoga?
So.... Brit at the VMAs..... She's still Madame Tubs, and she totally looks WASTED. She looks like she's about to fall the feck over and her lip sync is WHACK... I am just glad to see her NOT hanging out with Paris anymore. The more I watch the video, the worse she looks.... Shes about to fall over in parts.
Why the HELL didn't anyone tell me how crazy-hot Criss Angel is.... I had to see him on Montel, for Pete's sake.
Ok. Back to Final Destination 3 and my stats homework.
I'm throwing all my clothes away and starting over. I am very zen that way. The haircut failed the humidity test, btw. Still a fro.