(no subject)
oh so bored. its so fucking hot outside. hmm so much to talk about.
topher
so chris is supposed to be in love with me, and don't get me wrong, i love the kid to death, but I don't get it, like one minute he loves me and im like the coolest thing in the world to him. the next minute, i'm just a friend, who's being clingy. like I really don't get whats going on between us. I like want to go out with other guys if he's going to be like ehhh I hate relationships and you. Everytime I go out with another guy he gets pissed at me....so i'm like raaaaawr make up your fucking mind. ugh. old habits die hard. some people just need to learn that you have to take shit seriously on occassion.
joshua
josh started talking to me again, and now he might be coming to see me this summer. I was like yay, but its really difficult to figure this out, because i'm still in love with the kid, and I know that if he ever asked me out again, i'd say yes in a heartbeat, and I know I shouldn't which is the sucky part. Somewhere in the back of my head, I'm still in love with him, but I know things will never be the same. boys are really the root of my problems. and he's struggling with his religion which has given him morals, and i know this is slightly mean, but i hope he ditches it, cause otherwise this summer will be filled with kisses and coffee and thats it.
the sad state
for some reason i've gained this wierd feeling of depression lately, thats just enough to slow me down, but not enough to keep me from putting on a happy facade wherever I go. I think mainly that my fickle lover is probably the root of this, along with the fact that my friends have been ditching me left and right. which really sucks. I got some sleeping pills though, so hopefully i'll get to sleep more at night, which will give me less time to re-assess my life over and over throughout the course of the day. I really should stop blaming it on boys though.
fucking friends
my friends are ditching me left and right, jen works too much, catherine can't make up her mind (but seeing as she hasn't called me in a bajillion years, and she'll probably take along the influence of her elders, my friendship with her has slowly diminished), michael is going to be working with catherine all summer, which pretty much means i'll see him on his days off if i'm lucky, my bestest friend in the entire world is in fucking england now, friends with benefits are slightly non existent at this moment in time. see it sucks.
miscellaneous
i'm writing a book, and I already finished the cover art for it, and i'm trying to get andi to come down so i can take some more pictures for it. Its seriously getting hot as balls. Carrie and I are good. Therapy constantly sucks....it just goes on alllllll of the time. I saw pretty lightning last night, and got rained on. I got a 2.5ft deep blowup pool, and i'm debating getting in it now. I'm going to england with michael at the end of the summer to see clare for like 2 weeks. Lots of beach time, and a week in Jamaica this summer which should be fun. I got fangs too. they're uber gorgeous. i love them. I love my cats too, even though they make me sneeze. happy birthday sam. I think i'm gonna take a nap now, or go get in the pool.
much love. ex.to.the.oh.
♥ kate
topher
so chris is supposed to be in love with me, and don't get me wrong, i love the kid to death, but I don't get it, like one minute he loves me and im like the coolest thing in the world to him. the next minute, i'm just a friend, who's being clingy. like I really don't get whats going on between us. I like want to go out with other guys if he's going to be like ehhh I hate relationships and you. Everytime I go out with another guy he gets pissed at me....so i'm like raaaaawr make up your fucking mind. ugh. old habits die hard. some people just need to learn that you have to take shit seriously on occassion.
joshua
josh started talking to me again, and now he might be coming to see me this summer. I was like yay, but its really difficult to figure this out, because i'm still in love with the kid, and I know that if he ever asked me out again, i'd say yes in a heartbeat, and I know I shouldn't which is the sucky part. Somewhere in the back of my head, I'm still in love with him, but I know things will never be the same. boys are really the root of my problems. and he's struggling with his religion which has given him morals, and i know this is slightly mean, but i hope he ditches it, cause otherwise this summer will be filled with kisses and coffee and thats it.
the sad state
for some reason i've gained this wierd feeling of depression lately, thats just enough to slow me down, but not enough to keep me from putting on a happy facade wherever I go. I think mainly that my fickle lover is probably the root of this, along with the fact that my friends have been ditching me left and right. which really sucks. I got some sleeping pills though, so hopefully i'll get to sleep more at night, which will give me less time to re-assess my life over and over throughout the course of the day. I really should stop blaming it on boys though.
fucking friends
my friends are ditching me left and right, jen works too much, catherine can't make up her mind (but seeing as she hasn't called me in a bajillion years, and she'll probably take along the influence of her elders, my friendship with her has slowly diminished), michael is going to be working with catherine all summer, which pretty much means i'll see him on his days off if i'm lucky, my bestest friend in the entire world is in fucking england now, friends with benefits are slightly non existent at this moment in time. see it sucks.
miscellaneous
i'm writing a book, and I already finished the cover art for it, and i'm trying to get andi to come down so i can take some more pictures for it. Its seriously getting hot as balls. Carrie and I are good. Therapy constantly sucks....it just goes on alllllll of the time. I saw pretty lightning last night, and got rained on. I got a 2.5ft deep blowup pool, and i'm debating getting in it now. I'm going to england with michael at the end of the summer to see clare for like 2 weeks. Lots of beach time, and a week in Jamaica this summer which should be fun. I got fangs too. they're uber gorgeous. i love them. I love my cats too, even though they make me sneeze. happy birthday sam. I think i'm gonna take a nap now, or go get in the pool.
much love. ex.to.the.oh.
♥ kate