Episode 2.15 - "Tonight's the Night"
It's amazing how quickly I get over people... some might even say "scary" and "supernatural," but it's true: I'm done with my grieving period; I've gone from pain to anger to denial and most recently, to leather. I've decided that since Billy's been so patient with me (considering our subculture's dating etiquette), tonight's the night when we'll consummate our relationship. Translation: We'll be knockin' boots, y'all!
Inspired by Samuel L. Jackson in Shaft and Angelina Jolie in Mr. and Mrs. Smith, I don my sexiest outfit (the fishnet, leather pants, an easily removable T-Shirt, and my kickass black boots). I walk over to Lamp Post and Billy and I decide to chill on the couch with our friends Nelly and Katy. They are so cute together--loving friends, that's the way to do it.
Anywho, the four of us watch The L Word and it's pretty HOT... not nearly as sexy or funny as Queer as Folk. We all laugh our asses off when one girl tries to get her friend's pants off so they can have sex but her jeans are so damn tight that it takes 3 minutes to finally get 'em past her thighs. *teehee*
After that, Billy and I go to his room and pick tonight's movie... Spice World! Of course, we both have to sing along during the movie; it turns out, we both went to see it in the theater as kids. How 'bout that? I even have the Spice World video game for the Playstation. I'm just frustrated because I can't remember the choreography for the "Stop" music video. Arrgh, where's Andre when you need him?! LOL, good times.
Once the movie's over, I throw my leg over his entire body, mount him like a Harley, and give him a well-deserved kiss. This is well-choreographed on my part, of course. Immediately afterwards, I ask Billy to take some provocative pictures of me for my Treasure Chest collection. With every click of the camera, an article of clothing magically flies off. I give him a little show--LOL, my close friends know that I'm extremely comfortable when I'm naked, so I'm just strippin', merrily kicking off my underwear (catching it in mid-flight), and I can still easily put my leg behind my head while in the nude, sitting on the bed. Still takes skill, still hurts like a bitch.
CENSOR! THIS PORTION IS THOROUGHLY CONDENSED!
Nekked on a wooden chair... serviced... "Wow, someone's ripped"... Thank You... not turned-on yet... he somewhat undresses (with a disclaimer)... Matrix-manuevering on bunk bed... "You have a great ass"... Trojan Man!... workin' it... "Feels like I'm in an Aeon Flux episode"... I'm still not turned-on... clothes on... clothes off... whip out my erotica... start me up... he tries dirty talk... still not working... "You're good at keeping me turned on"... HJ... I Hope You Ride It!... someone gets off... hooray for him... sigh.
Translation: Nothing really happens... at least, not on my end. Wow, Emily was right all along; sexual attraction IS important in a relationship and I REFUSE to have the sex life of a married woman! I mean, Billy's perfect in every other way, but I'm just not physically attracted to him... he has a few things that turn me off: long hair, lack of muscle tone, glasses that are likely to poke my eye out (LOL)... Oh well, this is why I didn't put out on the first date. We've gone too far too fast. If I'm ever gonna find him attractive I have to spend more time with him and grow to love his appearance.
Around 1:40AM, Billy leads me out the side door... Damn, I'm starting to feel like someone's dirty little secret already. He tells me he won't write about it on his LJ, which is a shame, 'cause I LOVE it when people write about me--it lets me know I still exist in their world.
Inspired by Samuel L. Jackson in Shaft and Angelina Jolie in Mr. and Mrs. Smith, I don my sexiest outfit (the fishnet, leather pants, an easily removable T-Shirt, and my kickass black boots). I walk over to Lamp Post and Billy and I decide to chill on the couch with our friends Nelly and Katy. They are so cute together--loving friends, that's the way to do it.
Anywho, the four of us watch The L Word and it's pretty HOT... not nearly as sexy or funny as Queer as Folk. We all laugh our asses off when one girl tries to get her friend's pants off so they can have sex but her jeans are so damn tight that it takes 3 minutes to finally get 'em past her thighs. *teehee*
After that, Billy and I go to his room and pick tonight's movie... Spice World! Of course, we both have to sing along during the movie; it turns out, we both went to see it in the theater as kids. How 'bout that? I even have the Spice World video game for the Playstation. I'm just frustrated because I can't remember the choreography for the "Stop" music video. Arrgh, where's Andre when you need him?! LOL, good times.
Once the movie's over, I throw my leg over his entire body, mount him like a Harley, and give him a well-deserved kiss. This is well-choreographed on my part, of course. Immediately afterwards, I ask Billy to take some provocative pictures of me for my Treasure Chest collection. With every click of the camera, an article of clothing magically flies off. I give him a little show--LOL, my close friends know that I'm extremely comfortable when I'm naked, so I'm just strippin', merrily kicking off my underwear (catching it in mid-flight), and I can still easily put my leg behind my head while in the nude, sitting on the bed. Still takes skill, still hurts like a bitch.
CENSOR! THIS PORTION IS THOROUGHLY CONDENSED!
Nekked on a wooden chair... serviced... "Wow, someone's ripped"... Thank You... not turned-on yet... he somewhat undresses (with a disclaimer)... Matrix-manuevering on bunk bed... "You have a great ass"... Trojan Man!... workin' it... "Feels like I'm in an Aeon Flux episode"... I'm still not turned-on... clothes on... clothes off... whip out my erotica... start me up... he tries dirty talk... still not working... "You're good at keeping me turned on"... HJ... I Hope You Ride It!... someone gets off... hooray for him... sigh.
Translation: Nothing really happens... at least, not on my end. Wow, Emily was right all along; sexual attraction IS important in a relationship and I REFUSE to have the sex life of a married woman! I mean, Billy's perfect in every other way, but I'm just not physically attracted to him... he has a few things that turn me off: long hair, lack of muscle tone, glasses that are likely to poke my eye out (LOL)... Oh well, this is why I didn't put out on the first date. We've gone too far too fast. If I'm ever gonna find him attractive I have to spend more time with him and grow to love his appearance.
Around 1:40AM, Billy leads me out the side door... Damn, I'm starting to feel like someone's dirty little secret already. He tells me he won't write about it on his LJ, which is a shame, 'cause I LOVE it when people write about me--it lets me know I still exist in their world.