God is an ASSHOLE!!!!!

[cat480]

Well I haven't written a journal in a long time but what has been happening lately in my life is really hard for me and I want to it write down and vent my feelings so, maybe I will feel a little better. My uncle has cancer. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in October. It was not operable and he has been going to cemo for a little less than 10 months now but he just keep getting worse and worse. I found out today that he could die within two days to a week from now.This is the hardest thing I have had to deal with in my life because he is like a father to me. i love him so much it hurts to see him dying infront of my eyes. It's not fair, I know that life is not fair but I think that if there is a God he is an asshole for creating a disease like cancer for people to have to suffer from. No one deserves to die of cancer. When I look at my uncle it's like I am looking at someone else. It's like "thats not my uncle,he's fat, going bald, and he gets up a5 in the morning to go to work. He not in bed all the time and skinner than me. it's like, "who is this guy and why is he in my uncle's house." I always thought he would be at my high school graduation, my wedding day, even be there to play with my kids when he is all old and telling them stories like how he put chili, pepper sause on their mommies thumb to get her to stop sucking on it as a kid. He was always there been I pictured it and now he won't be. It will never be like that now.

I love you Tim.

Catherine Prettyleaf (Chiara)