Why does something terrible have to happen to turn something from good to great?
Long story short, my husband had an affair. A lot of crap has been happening since February. I started noticing a number on the phone bill. He told they were just friends, she told me the same thing. But none of the signs added up and I just that they had slept together. But what could I do? I had no proof so I let it go and moved forward. Jamie's job ended so he left that town and I thought I could let it go. (It wasn't that easy...a lot stuff happened and we almost got a divorce.)
But I kept having that nagging feeling that he wasn't telling me the truth. He never even truly apologized for lying to me about a lot things and if I tried to talk about it he would get angry. So I called her and asked her for the truth. She told they had been sleeping together since September and that she miscarried his child, that he said he loved her, she stayed with him for a few days while he was in Nebraska, he flew from Nebraska to Indiana for her birthday, that he sent her flowers for her birthday. That they got matching tattoos. She ended up being psycho literally so we had to change our phone numbers
Yet he still denied everything. So I sat him down and told them that I couldn't let this go until I told him that I forgive him for not telling me about her. I forgive him for when he wouln't stop talking to her when I asked. And I that I forgive him for the things that happened that I still didn't know about.
And we moved on. It's been great. We've talked better with each other, our sex life improved, we started to really enjoy each other again. Something we haven't done in a long time even before he started working in Indiana. But I still felt like I was the one that was being punished for someone else mistake. That was in March. We were split up for most of February.
Four Days ago we where driving home from some friends house when he grabbed my hand and told me that he loved me. Something in his voice told me that something was wrong so I looked up and smiled. His eyes were red and he looked as though he had been crying since we got in the truck.
He told me that he had something to tell me and it was very hard. Of course I knew what it was, so I just told him that I needed to hear him say it. And he admitted that he did have an affair. That he was truly sorry. He said that he had reached a low point and gave into temptation. He started working and got the taste of being single again had a moment of weakness. He told me that it meant nothing and that when he realized that he had messed up and wanted to make things right with me that she started threatening him. He didn't want me to know so he kept seeing her because she had threaten to fly here and show up at my house. My husband ended up having a fatal attraction affair. He told me that a lot of things that she told me was not the truth but that they did sleep together. He was very adamant that she never miscarried his child. But that did visit each other while he was in Nebraska.
I started crying and told him that I always knew that he had really did have an affair and that it does hurt, but that it finally felt like all the pieces of the puzzle fit and that made me feel better. Then the anger set in...not about the affair because I was already kind of over that but that fact that he made me feel like I was crazy for even thinking that for the last four months. He made me look stupid in front of so many of our friends and family.
I can't describe how it felt to hear him admit to it, and finally get the apology that I deserved. When I drove up to Indiana to confront him about the phone records he let me walk away think that he wanted to divorce me for something that he had done. He explained that he did that because he felt its was best for me to move on because he didn't deserve me anymore.
We stayed up till 4 o'clock in the morning just talking, crying, and getting things right and back on track. Now when I get in the morning its like waking up to a brand new man. He treats me totally different, and loves me the way I should be loved. And it's not like he's just trying to make up for the last nine months but that he genuinly realizes what he could have lost and is treating me with a new found respect.
Now the question is, how do I move forward with myself? Even though he says it meant nothing and that I'm truly what he wants, and that now when looks at me he see a beautiful woman on the inside and out. How do let go of those little thoughts where I want to compare myself to her? Am I better at sex than she is? I've had two kids, how can he find my body attractive compared to hers? Does he ever wish that I do something the way she did? Those kind of questions are in my head now.
Help anyone?
But I kept having that nagging feeling that he wasn't telling me the truth. He never even truly apologized for lying to me about a lot things and if I tried to talk about it he would get angry. So I called her and asked her for the truth. She told they had been sleeping together since September and that she miscarried his child, that he said he loved her, she stayed with him for a few days while he was in Nebraska, he flew from Nebraska to Indiana for her birthday, that he sent her flowers for her birthday. That they got matching tattoos. She ended up being psycho literally so we had to change our phone numbers
Yet he still denied everything. So I sat him down and told them that I couldn't let this go until I told him that I forgive him for not telling me about her. I forgive him for when he wouln't stop talking to her when I asked. And I that I forgive him for the things that happened that I still didn't know about.
And we moved on. It's been great. We've talked better with each other, our sex life improved, we started to really enjoy each other again. Something we haven't done in a long time even before he started working in Indiana. But I still felt like I was the one that was being punished for someone else mistake. That was in March. We were split up for most of February.
Four Days ago we where driving home from some friends house when he grabbed my hand and told me that he loved me. Something in his voice told me that something was wrong so I looked up and smiled. His eyes were red and he looked as though he had been crying since we got in the truck.
He told me that he had something to tell me and it was very hard. Of course I knew what it was, so I just told him that I needed to hear him say it. And he admitted that he did have an affair. That he was truly sorry. He said that he had reached a low point and gave into temptation. He started working and got the taste of being single again had a moment of weakness. He told me that it meant nothing and that when he realized that he had messed up and wanted to make things right with me that she started threatening him. He didn't want me to know so he kept seeing her because she had threaten to fly here and show up at my house. My husband ended up having a fatal attraction affair. He told me that a lot of things that she told me was not the truth but that they did sleep together. He was very adamant that she never miscarried his child. But that did visit each other while he was in Nebraska.
I started crying and told him that I always knew that he had really did have an affair and that it does hurt, but that it finally felt like all the pieces of the puzzle fit and that made me feel better. Then the anger set in...not about the affair because I was already kind of over that but that fact that he made me feel like I was crazy for even thinking that for the last four months. He made me look stupid in front of so many of our friends and family.
I can't describe how it felt to hear him admit to it, and finally get the apology that I deserved. When I drove up to Indiana to confront him about the phone records he let me walk away think that he wanted to divorce me for something that he had done. He explained that he did that because he felt its was best for me to move on because he didn't deserve me anymore.
We stayed up till 4 o'clock in the morning just talking, crying, and getting things right and back on track. Now when I get in the morning its like waking up to a brand new man. He treats me totally different, and loves me the way I should be loved. And it's not like he's just trying to make up for the last nine months but that he genuinly realizes what he could have lost and is treating me with a new found respect.
Now the question is, how do I move forward with myself? Even though he says it meant nothing and that I'm truly what he wants, and that now when looks at me he see a beautiful woman on the inside and out. How do let go of those little thoughts where I want to compare myself to her? Am I better at sex than she is? I've had two kids, how can he find my body attractive compared to hers? Does he ever wish that I do something the way she did? Those kind of questions are in my head now.
Help anyone?