"Junior Professor Solution"
Its funny that I’m gradually coming to terms with my professional preferences.
I cant say that I love medicine. Of course, I cant. Otherwise why would I stay depressed for weeks last year. But at the same time I cant say that I hate it.
For the last few months I’ve been discovering the whole new world of science. And I enjoyed every second of it. Not that I’ve never met it before - I just had forgotten it with all this clinical work.
And it’s pretty funny but I cant say that I hate clinical work either. I’ve worked out a perfect attitude to operate effectively with my job. Sometimes people (I mean, patients) make me laugh, sometimes they surprise me, sometimes they are simply nice and thankful. But most of the time clinical work is sooooo booooring.
Medicine is exciting only from the outside. If I was told it, when I was finishing my grad school, I would have definitely changed my mind. But I didn’t know it. I watched TV-series about exciting world of medicine and somehow I thought that this was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.
But it turned out that medicine, in general, isn’t about brain storming difficult questions, isn’t about science and knowledge, but is about people. Always people. Strong people, weak people, sad people, determined people, crazy people, intelligent people, bitchy people, kind people. And some doctors find it rewarding - working with people all the time, imagining that they are able to help. Maybe they are. Of course, they are.
But it’s not enough for me.
Ive found out recently (once again, I think) that I have a crazy personality which core essence is intellect. I don’t say that Iam very smart o r smarter than somebody else. What I mean to say is that I enjoy mental process: thinking, analyzing, synthesing, summing up. I have almost a physical pleasure when Im solving a tricky equation or reading about new complicated scientific breakthrough. And even more, I enjoy not only acquiring knowledge but also transferring it to other people.
I ask myself every other day. Why am I doing it? Spending so much time: reading, making up questions and cases, inventing new ways to make it easy, finding materials. The only reason is because I enjoy doing it. And I although enjoy it when I see that my task is accomplished and I’ve managed to deliver to some more people maybe not the knowledge itself but the very excitement of learning
I cant say that I love medicine. Of course, I cant. Otherwise why would I stay depressed for weeks last year. But at the same time I cant say that I hate it.
For the last few months I’ve been discovering the whole new world of science. And I enjoyed every second of it. Not that I’ve never met it before - I just had forgotten it with all this clinical work.
And it’s pretty funny but I cant say that I hate clinical work either. I’ve worked out a perfect attitude to operate effectively with my job. Sometimes people (I mean, patients) make me laugh, sometimes they surprise me, sometimes they are simply nice and thankful. But most of the time clinical work is sooooo booooring.
Medicine is exciting only from the outside. If I was told it, when I was finishing my grad school, I would have definitely changed my mind. But I didn’t know it. I watched TV-series about exciting world of medicine and somehow I thought that this was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.
But it turned out that medicine, in general, isn’t about brain storming difficult questions, isn’t about science and knowledge, but is about people. Always people. Strong people, weak people, sad people, determined people, crazy people, intelligent people, bitchy people, kind people. And some doctors find it rewarding - working with people all the time, imagining that they are able to help. Maybe they are. Of course, they are.
But it’s not enough for me.
Ive found out recently (once again, I think) that I have a crazy personality which core essence is intellect. I don’t say that Iam very smart o r smarter than somebody else. What I mean to say is that I enjoy mental process: thinking, analyzing, synthesing, summing up. I have almost a physical pleasure when Im solving a tricky equation or reading about new complicated scientific breakthrough. And even more, I enjoy not only acquiring knowledge but also transferring it to other people.
I ask myself every other day. Why am I doing it? Spending so much time: reading, making up questions and cases, inventing new ways to make it easy, finding materials. The only reason is because I enjoy doing it. And I although enjoy it when I see that my task is accomplished and I’ve managed to deliver to some more people maybe not the knowledge itself but the very excitement of learning