solitude.
There's a junior girls' school next to my house, and we can see into the playground from our balcony. This morning, I was hyperventilating about my uni workload (fuck, second year is hard!) when I realised that it was recess time and the kids were playing. I noticed this one little girl sitting at the middle of a long bench, all by herself, reading something from an exercise book as she nibbled away at her food. She was the only girl by herself in the entire playground. It broke my heart. I just wanted to run down there and ask her if she needed a friend (we shall, at this point, ignore the fact that I'm more than ten years her senior), but remembered the high-security gates and general etiquette stopping me from barging into the school grounds like a lunatic.
It reminded me of my own forlorn childhood. I just wanted to tell that poor girl not to worry about stupid primary school kids ignoring her; that people aren't like that in real life; that phases of "ignoring people" die out once you hit high school. I sure would have appreciated someone telling me that when my age was still written in single digits and I was frequenting the library every lunchtime for lack of people to talk to. *sighs* I mean, I do the same now at uni half the time, but it seems so catastrophic when you're a child, as though your world as you know it is falling apart. I'm so glad I grew up. And I hope that that little girl is actually older than she looks and thus a little closer to high school than I'd assumed, because it all ended for me in high school, and maybe it will for her, too.
(Gosh, I just realised that I made myself sound like the creepiest person in that post. I'm not. Just so you know.)
It reminded me of my own forlorn childhood. I just wanted to tell that poor girl not to worry about stupid primary school kids ignoring her; that people aren't like that in real life; that phases of "ignoring people" die out once you hit high school. I sure would have appreciated someone telling me that when my age was still written in single digits and I was frequenting the library every lunchtime for lack of people to talk to. *sighs* I mean, I do the same now at uni half the time, but it seems so catastrophic when you're a child, as though your world as you know it is falling apart. I'm so glad I grew up. And I hope that that little girl is actually older than she looks and thus a little closer to high school than I'd assumed, because it all ended for me in high school, and maybe it will for her, too.
(Gosh, I just realised that I made myself sound like the creepiest person in that post. I'm not. Just so you know.)