ONE WEEK AND 2 MORE DAYS!!!
I can't believe I get to come home next week. I'm so happy and excited! I can't wait to see Erin and Chelz, and Misty and Emily! YAY!!! Lets just pray that JT's grandparents don't up and decide to sell their house..that would totally suck man. I'll have to live in my parents camper. But at least I'd have my own space. Anyway, I've sorta been talking to someone new lately and he's totally taken my mind off of things. He's liked me for years and we always end up talking every now and then. We stay up almost every night talking on the phone till midnight just talking about stuff. And he makes me laugh so hard sometimes that I can't even breathe. I love that. I'm leaving next Saturday to go home but I'm going to stop in Mobile, AL to see him on the way and stay there that night and leave Sunday morning to go to Gonzales. I don't know how its going to feel to see him again. Its been a LONG time. I've always had a thing for him too in a way but never anything serious because I was with Dave for so long. But we've discussed us dating and stuff like that and decided that we're just going to take it very, very slow because I was with Dave for 5 freakin years and I'm not about to just jump into another relationship. I need to slow down and he understands and said that he didn't mind because he had a break up a couple of months ago too. So its cool..we're just gonna hang out and see where it goes. But I'm excited about seeing him. He's so funny. Its amazing how much he's helped me out with the David situation. When I told him what happened between us he was speechless and then boosted my ego by saying that he always thought that I was too good for Dave. Wow..no one has ever said that. But I know he's just saying it because he wants me..haha. But I haven't even been thinking about Dave. I mean I still do of course but not near as often. I prayed for God to help me out with that and the very next day I got a phone call from this guy and ever since then, I've felt so much better. God is awesome. I have no idea what is going to happen with this guy but I do know that God sent him to me for a reason. My emotions for David have just been so mixed lately. I'm up and down with him. I mean, I know I love him and stuff I think but it really wasn't the kind of love I wanted honestly. I never wanted to date someone that I had to change and that is exactly what I tried to do with Dave for years. Trying to get him to stop smoking cigarettes, weed, trying to get him to get his ass back in school. And the reason I was doing these things was because I did love him and I truly did want to spend forever with him but I refused to spend forever with him if he didn't do those things and that is the reason I told him I didn't want to get married. And I know that is totally wrong..trying to mold someone into who you wanted them to be that that was not who he was at the time. And I was not the person that he wanted to do those things for. And the person that he needs to be with is the one that he WILL change for. He needs someone that will motivate him to go to school and do well. And someone who will make him want to stop smoking cigarettes and pot. It just wasn't me. And I know that Dave and I will always be friends. And when I sit and think about the things that I miss about him, its always our friendship. Maybe that's all we ever had. Maybe we were just best friends all along. I've always told him he could do whatever he wanted with his life..he just had to decide to actually do it. And I really do think that Jackie is going to help him with that. Maybe she can be his inspiration for God's sake! But just as long as I can still keep him as a friend, I'm happy. I don't even really think that I can ever picture us being together again. It would be weird. Anyway, can't wait to see everyone in that chaotic Louisiana!