Resignations and Resolutions (3/4)
Resignations and Resolutions
By CascadePD
Rating T (for language)
Spoilers: Anything up to Intruder
Disclaimer: I don't own them…duh.
Summary: What happened to Elizabeth and John while they were on Earth prior to the events of The Intruder. I have taken a bit of artistic license with the timing of the flashbacks shown in the episode.
Wiping away the tears, Elizabeth briefly questioned her sanity as she hailed a taxi. A cab pulled up to the curb allowing her to enter.
“Where to?” the cabbie curtly asked.
“Follow that car!” She pointed from the back seat at the retreating cab, her wet sleeve spraying water in the driver’s face.
The driver wiped the moisture from his eyes and did a double take at the obviously insane woman in the back seat. “You GOTTA be kiddin’ me lady! This ain’t TV.” the cabbie retorted as though she had grown a third eye. Elizabeth was in no mood to be diplomatic or even kind. She glared at him, one eyebrow rising evilly. The man cowered, “Ooookaayyy... Following that car it is.”
Elizabeth frowned at the taxi in front of her as though it has personally done her harm. She was angry at the turn the day’s events had taken. Had events been one or the other…Simon or John, she probably could have taken the emotional roller coaster in stride. But both of them dropping bombs like that in one day? Even her resolve wasn’t that strong.
Her normally patient exterior was shredded and bare emotion was bleeding through. Her tears had calmed considerably and now her nerves were treating her to agitation. Sheppard’s taxi pulled into a vacant spot near the awning of the hotel she presumed he was staying at. The driver of her cab pulled in right behind them.
“Thaddal be $10.50 lady.” The cab driver called out to her.
Elizabeth got out of the cab. She stuck her head back in the open door to give him his money. Suddenly, she realized that in her haste to catch up to John, she had forgotten her purse.
“Wait here.” She requested, ignoring the cursing of the driver.
She turned around to see John running towards the awning. She called out as venomously as possible, “Just what the HELL do you think you’re doing?”
Startled, John turned around to see the furious face of the Atlantis Commander. “Elizabeth? What are you doing--.”
“Answer me, Major!” she demanded.
“You don’t give me orders…not here…not now.” He answered flippantly. John turned back towards the hotel entrance.
She lunged forward grabbing his jacket sleeve, stopping him. “John…what’s going on? This behavior…it isn’t like you.”
“No it isn’t.” he stated, yanking free from her loose grip.
"Please! Don't go," she begged catching up to him under the awning. Ignoring her, he kept walking towards the hotel door. "So that's it? You're giving up on me? “ She called out. “I don't believe it!"
Suddenly he stopped walking and rounded on her, his resolve gone. “Jesus Christ Liz! I can’t pull one over on you…can I?”
“Excuse me?” she questioned, choosing to ignore the use of her hated nickname.
He took a step closer, invading her personal space. “This." Sheppard spread his arms wide flipping water off of his jacket. "This was all planned out. I was going to tell you I couldn’t go back. You? You were supposed to accept my resignation without question. Dumb huh? Like you would ever let someone leave the city without a fight.” He smiled ruefully.
“No, not likely. So this was all a ruse? Why John…why the lies?“ She questioned, her teeth chattering as the icy water seeped through her clothing.
“Not entirely lies good Doctor. I did see Ford’s cousin today. I wonder when they will pull the plug because too many of my men and your brilliant scientists aren’t returning home alive. I know that the Wraith awakening was my fault…I’m not deluded or arrogant enough to think otherwise.”
“Then why, John?" she asked pushing her soaking hair from her face. "Why are you playing games?”
“I’m not playing, Elizabeth!” exasperated, he grabbed her shoulders holding her at arms length. “Don’t you understand? They don’t want me back. They have threatened your position and mine!”
“They? They who?”
“Caldwell, Landry, and the rest of the SG committee.”
She shook her head in confusion. “Why? How? They don’t have the power--.”
“They do when it comes to me, and they can relay to the IOA.” He interrupted.
The mental light bulb came on in her mind finally understanding his ploy. Relief washed over her knowing the truth. “Okay, so what is their bargaining chip?”
John exhaled sharply. “They know.”
“Know what, John. You’re going to have to give me more detail. I can’t read your-“
“How I feel about you Elizabeth! About how we hugged in the control room after the Daedalus transported me down. Someone must’ve leaked it to Caldwell. Between that and Kavanaugh’s hour long video-rant, they’ve put two and two together.”
“How…how you feel about me?” she asked, her mind barely wrapping around the concept. Elizabeth had never considered the possibility that John would share her feelings.
“Jeez…I…its just…we…there’s this…God, Elizabeth…I…" He started many sentences and then took a deep breath. "I care about you.” He said quickly, afraid of her reaction.
Her breath caught in her throat. Was he saying what she thought? Afraid of being wrong, Elizabeth played dumb. “I care about you too John…I care about everyone on the Atlantis mission…well except maybe Kavanaugh.” She rambled nervously.
“No, I don’t think you get it." He lifted a hand to the side of her face wiping away a droplet that had fallen from her hair to her cheek with his thumb. "I can't pretend I don't have feelings for you. I've almost lost you too many times. When Kolya said you were dead, a part of me died too. All I wanted to do was to make him and all the Genii pay in blood. When I found you alive but his hostage, I prayed to God that I wouldn't lose you again. I can't stop caring about you, and I can't go back to Atlantis knowing that you don't feel the same way because of…because of him."
Elizabeth stared speechlessly as a fresh batch of hot tears formed in her eyes.
"Hey…hey don't cry.” He pulled her into a hug. John’s earlier felt guilt bubbling to the surface again. “Look, I'm sorry to lay all this on you. I mean it already looks like you've had a hell of a night."
Her tears fell uncontrollably, "He left me…Simon left me…and I don’t have any cab fare!" she blubbered.
"What?"
“I forgot my purse at my apartment and I can’t pay the driver-“ she sobbed hysterically.
“No.” he interrupted shaking his head. If she had not been so upset the situation might’ve been funny. “Not that. Wait here.” John let her go, pulling out his wallet from the back pocket of his pants. He ducked back into the rain and ran to the driver’s side door. He handed the small wad of bills to the driver. The driver responded with a rude gesture and peeled away from the sopping wet couple. Elizabeth shivered from the cold.
John realized the ridiculous state they were in; drenched and freezing. "Elizabeth, you want to come up to my room and warm up? No funny business, I swear."
She could only respond with a dejected nod. He put his arm around her shoulders and escorted her into the lobby. A few moments later they were in his hotel room. He grabbed two towels and handed one to Elizabeth. “So, do want to tell me what happened?” he asked gauging by her earlier reaction that she may not be ready to share. To his surprise, she didn’t hold back.
"He told me that he found someone else while we were gone. I mean, I told him to do it. I thought we were going to die a painful, ugly death at the hands of the Wraith.” She moaned at her bad pun. “I know its all my fault that he left. But now you're leaving me too."
"Crap. I'm so stupid. Oh God, ’Lisbeth, I should never have told you this. The last thing you need is to hear my problems. Come here," he said pulling her into a tight embrace.
"You can't do this John. I don't think I can do this without you there." her plea partly muffled into his shirt.
He rubbed her back in an attempt to comfort her, "Caldwell will take command…you'll be fine."
"No!" she cried pulling away from him suddenly. She began a frantic pace across the hotel room. "I don't care about command. I need you John. Just you. When I thought I was going to die at the hands of Kolya, the only regret I had was that I wasn’t able to tell you how I felt. I can't sleep when you're off world on missions.” She stopped pacing in front of him and stared into his green eyes. “A part of me crumbles to pieces when you're in danger. I've never had the chance or the courage to tell you before now, John. Don't you get it? You're my rock. You drive me crazy and you're what keeps me sane. You're--"
John suddenly wrapped an arm around Elizabeth's waist and kissed her. "I get it."
Elizabeth smiled, and then ran her hands into his damp hair, pulling him down to meet her lips in another kiss. "I thought you said no funny business?"
He returned her smile and whispered, “I lied about that too.”