i have nothing else to update about

[caruana]

last night i got locked into my bedroom. my doorknob was loose for some reason and my door wouldn't open. it wouldn't have mattered but i really had to pee and i started freaking out. i was online when it happened and nobody had any good advice they all just laughed at me, i think everyone thought i wasn't serious but it was one of the scariest things that has ever happened to me. i tried to pull the door open and the knob ripped off. matt was asleep and i didn't want to wake him up to push the door in so i contemplated jumping out of the window but i'm on the second floor and i had no drain pipe to shimmy down. then i thought about jumping from my window to the roof and then climbing down, but there is a big gap between my window and the roof and i'm an idiot so i probably would have just missed the gutter and fell to my doom, or atleast my plethora of broken bones. after i freaked out for ten minutes about all the oxygen being sucked out of the room, or the fact that the only food i had to survive off of was the pretzel salt i spilled all over my floor, i figured out how to get the remaining pieces of the knob out of the door using a pair of scissors and my superhuman strength. so yeah i figured out that it was actually all quite simple and i'm just a dumbass and i finally got to pee, but believe me i was about to just go right out the window.

i love jessica alba.