Suffering, Part II
Suffering - Part II
Early in January, Mrs. Weasley had everyone over to The Burrow for dinner, including Fleur and Hermione. All the Weasley’s were present except for Charlie who was still in Romania, and Ginny, who had gone back to Hogwarts the previous week.
While Ginny was home for Christmas, Harry could no longer avoid going to The Burrow. He spent most of his time with Ginny and very little with Ron. But there was this air of awkwardness between them when they did speak, telling Harry that he knew what Hermione had seen in his Pensieve.
It became all the more apparent that things were more than a little off when Hermione showed up for Christmas and Harry spoke even less to her than he did to Ron. This all led to a strain on his relationship with Ginny because they would row every time she asked what was wrong and he would lie and say nothing.
The holidays was the first time they got to spend consecutive days together since before she’d left for school, and Harry did not want to spend that time rowing with her. So like he had done so many times in the past, he buried his feelings and focused on his girlfriend.
Harry would have had an easier time battling a dragon than refusing Mrs. Weasley’s invitation to come for dinner. But it was only dinner and now that it was over he was free of Ron and Hermione again.
As a precaution, there were still protective wards around The Burrow, so he stepped outside to Apparate only to be stopped by Hermione’s voice.
“Harry, wait, please. We can’t go on like this.”
“We wouldn’t be like this at all if you had just minded your own goddamn business,” Harry snapped.
“Harry, she messed up but - “
“Don’t you defend what she did!” Harry couldn’t believe Ron was taking her side on this, especially when he knew the images in his Pensieve contained not only his girlfriend but him as well.
“Harry, this concerns all three us of us.”
“I’m leaving.” He began concentrating on an image of his flat - but lost his concentration when he was pushed back against the shed that was behind The Burrow. Hermione’s grabbed his hand and pushed him inside. Before he could do anything, her lips landed on his. He should have pushed her away. Ron was standing right there and Harry knew he was a dead man, but he was weak and Hermione ended up being the one to break the kiss first.
Hermione’s features were flushed as she put some distance between them. She cast a silencing charm around the shed so no one would hear them. “Sorry, but I didn’t know what else to do to get you to stay.”
Harry’s mind was still reeling from the kiss. He braced himself when he looked over at Ron but was not greeted with the expression he had been expecting. Ron looked jealous all right, but there was no rage behind his ice blue eyes.
“I told Ron what was in the Pensieve,” Hermione confessed. “I know what I did was unforgivable but it really does concern all three of us. You’ve been pulling away from us for months and we had no idea why. At first, I thought you were just depressed but then it just kept getting worse. I never would have gone looking through your flat for the Pensieive but it was sitting right there out in the open and I couldn’t help myself. I wish you’d confided in us.”
“Why? So you could stand there and look as disgusted as Ron is right now?”
“He’s not disgusted. When I told him - “
“I can speak for myself,” Ron cut her off. “I think what we need to talk about is the way you’ve been using my sister.”
“I love Ginny,” Harry spoke without hesitation. “If Hermione told you everything she saw in the Pensieve then you should know that.”
“What did you plan to do about these feelings?” Hermione asked, taking the conversation in a new direction.
“Nothing! They’ll go away eventually.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Hermione, just stop. We’re not discussing this anymore. It’s wrong and it’s disgusting and the two of you should hate me. I’m not daft, I can tell you’re uncomfortable around me.”
“How did you think we’d react?” Ron said. “This isn’t easy for us, Harry. Hermione and me are finally together and we’re happy, and we thought you were happy with Ginny.”
“I am.”
“But it’s not enough,” Hermione said in a low voice.
Harry squeezed his eyes shut. “Please just let this go.”
“We can’t. Maybe it’s just a side effect of how close the three of us have become over the years, I don’t know.”
Harry’s eyes snapped open. Surely he had heard her wrong. There was no way she could mean that. Or was she really implying that it wasn’t just him who had been struggling with desires and feelings that always stayed close to the surface no matter how hard he tried to pretend they didn’t exist?
He watched as Hermione, with trembling hands, reached for his belt and started undoing it. He grabbed her wrists, stopping her from going any further. That should have ended it but Ron came out of nowhere and flattened his mouth against Harry’s. He had been shocked when Hermione had kissed him, but he had never expected this kind of reaction from Ron.
It distracted him enough that he released his hold on Hermione and she was able to undo his belt completely. He should have been freezing. They hadn’t cast any warming charms and there was snow on the ground outside. But once Hermione’s hand disappeared beneath his boxers and wrapped around his cock, he could no longer feel the cold or anything but the hand that was pleasuring him and the way Ron’s mouth felt as it moved over his.
When Ron’s lips left his, Harry felt the loss immediately. He watched as Ron started to work on opening the bottom buttons on Hermione’s cloak until he had access to her jeans. Once Ron had her jeans undone, he slipped his hand inside her knickers and began working his fingers through her soft curls.
“God, Ron,” she groaned, her fingers momentarily slipping from Harry’s cock.
After some deliberation, Harry placed one of his hands where Ron’s was and together they stroked and teased her pussy, causing Hermione to buck and moan between them. Their combined efforts caused her quicken the pace at which she was moving her fingers over his shaft.
Harry moaned her name, willing himself not to compare her technique to Ginny. Instead he split his attention between pleasuring Hermione and feeling the pleasure she was giving him in return.
Feeling bold enough because of Ron’s actions earlier, Harry grabbed a fistful of his hair and brought Ron’s mouth crashing against his. It was as far from gentle as possible as Ron thrust his tongue into Harry’s waiting mouth.
Ron rubbed his thumb over Hermione’s clit with one hard stroke and she came, throwing her head back and crying out loudly. She grasped his cock a little harder when she came, and Harry was already close that he came with a grunt, his cock exploding in her hand. If he hadn’t been with Ginny over the holidays, he doubted he would have even lasted that long. For the second time he quickly banished thoughts of Ginny from his mind. He would have plenty of time to deal with that guilt later.
After Hermione came down from her orgasm, she stayed nestled between Harry and Ron, until she felt something large and hard poking against her from behind.
“I’m sorry, Ron,” she said, spinning around and giving him quick kiss.
“Well, you should be,” Ron grumbled. “I thought I was going to have to take care of it my bloody self.”
Harry watched with rapt attention as Hermione lowered Ron’s trousers and boxers before sinking to her knees in front of him. Harry bit back a groan of desire at seeing Ron’s freed erection hovering in front of her face. She ran her tongue up and down his length before taking it into her mouth.
Harry’s groans mirrored Ron’s. Despite having just orgasmed, the erotic sight of Hermione sucking Ron’s cock while Ron’s hands got lost in her hair was enough to bring him to full hardness again within seconds. Incredibly aroused, Harry fumbled to get his own trousers undone and began stroking himself in rhythm with Hermione’s movements. His gaze altered back and forth between watching Ron’s euphoric expression and the way Hermione’s lips slid over his cock.
Harry came seconds after Ron did, and trying to retain whatever fragments of dignity he had left, performed a quick cleaning charm before tucking himself back into his trousers. It was pointless, really, since they had seen him with his hand fisted around his cock as he watched them.
Harry wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do, let alone say after what they had just experienced. All this time he had thought there was something wrong with him. But it could not have been just him - the last twenty minutes were evidence enough of that.
“Are we going to talk about this?” Harry was not surprised his voice was anything but steady.
“I don’t think right now is the best time.”
That was not the response he had been expecting from her. After all, she was the one who had insisted the three of them deal with this, and had pursued it relentlessly to the point where they had ended up in extremely intimate positions, moaning each other’s names.
Ron shook his head. “You can’t be serious. You’re the one who always over-analyzes everything, yet you don’t want to talk about what just happened here.”
Hermione got to her feet, brushing off her knees as she did so.
It didn’t escape the boys that she refused to make eye contact with either one of them.
Then, without warning, she Disapparated from the shed.
* * *
“Trust me, she’s here,” Ron said to Harry as they marched down the hallway of Hermione’s flat.
Sure enough, her bedroom door was shut. Ron knocked on it, receiving a response of go away in return. The door was locked, so Ron took out his wand and pointed it at the handle, saying, “Alohomora.” When he tried the handle again it was still locked. “For bloody hell’s sake,” he muttered. “Hermione, open the door!”
“I don’t want to see either one of you right now,” came Hermione’s muffled response through the door.
“You’re barking mad if you think we’re just going to leave. So either you open this door right now, or me and Harry are just going to start talking. I don’t really think this is the kind of conversation you want to have through a closed door.”
Harry wasn’t convinced Ron’s approach would work until the door actually opened with Hermione standing on the other side of it. She looked like she had been crying.
Ron took in her appearance, saying, “I don’t understand why you’re acting like this. This was your idea after all.”
With those words, Hermione seemed to be done with crying. “Well, I made a mistake. Yes, Ron, I was wrong. Are you happy now?”
“No, I’m not. You put our whole relationship on the line - “
“Don’t blame this all on me. After all, you went along with it, didn’t you?”
“You didn’t leave me much choice.”
“Shut up, both of you!” Harry shouted. He knew this mess was his fault, but hearing them bicker about it was not making the situation any better. “I’m confused. Why did you do any of it if you knew it wasn’t what you wanted?”
“It’s not that I didn’t want to. If the three of us are really honest with each other, those feelings - those desires - have always been there. But they were never supposed to be acted on. I love Ron but I’ve always felt an attraction to you, and maybe that’s because of how close we are. But it was something I would never act on.” Hermione seemed to have calmed down considerably by this point.
“So then what the fuck was that back at The Burrow? An experiment?” Harry snapped.
“I admit, I didn’t think all the consequences through, but the three of us couldn’t continue with things the way they were.”
“I’m not sure things are much better the way they are now,” spoke Ron, “considering I just messed around with my sister’s boyfriend. For fuck’s sake, Ginny is my sister! I won’t do this to her.”
“You think this is easy for me? You think I don’t feel like shit for what I let happen? I wish that I could just love Ginny and that would be it.” Harry raked his fingers through his hair, feeling disgusted with himself.
“Harry, we can fix this,” Hermione insisted. “It doesn’t have to happen again and Ginny never needs to know it happened at all.”
“So you want me to lie to her?”
“What’s the alternative? Do you really think she’s going to understand if you told her?”
Harry looked away from her. Of course Ginny wouldn’t understand and Hermione knew that.
“The reason we were never supposed to act on these feelings is because it would never work between the three of us. We can’t have a relationship that would be based on lies and that’s exactly what would happen because we would have to hide this from everyone. I don’t want that.”
“So we pretend like nothing happened - like everything’s normal?” Ron said incredulously.
“It’s either that or…”
Hermione didn’t finish her sentence, not that there was any need for her to. Their near decade of friendship was on the line, and if they couldn’t find a way to get passed tonight’s events, there might not be anything left of it.
So they made a pact never to let anything like that happen again. Though the three of them acknowledged certain feelings existed, they knew they were better off leaving them alone. You weren’t supposed to love more than one person anyway.
Fin.
A/N: Sorry folks, no happy endings here. I was having a really bad day yesterday and this just popped into my head. I haven’t decided yet if I’m going to follow it up with what happens afterward.