hold
Sometimes its just so hard to sit here. There is a point in the night where you become so overwhelmingly and achingly desperate.You could'nt even begin to define what for.But you know its the same pictures that paint your ceiling in the early hours of the morning when you've forgotten how to sleep, and are convinced you never have before.
It just feels like its all around you. Moving in. IT feels like its going to pierce the skin of your eyeball..your face feels like its about to cave in or flip inside out.
and you stare here waiting for a reason to not feel like this..reading and reading sucking the life out of words..
anything. it all feels good compared to this. The forced illusions of good act like little hits, your denial is so consious it makes you throb with a contained sickness.. your so tired of fighting against what you know your bones are made out of.
It's never hurt so much. YOU remember that this is the sort of hurt that you can't survive.. this is the kind that you know will finally kill you.. but never does.
and then your finished.. and you know its over.. and you don't know whats worse.
You feel like your eyes hold the weight of all that exists within the core of you and everything is sore. You've forgotten what it feels to be satisfied and you dont know if you could ever survive it again.
remember you dont care.
I dont need to be lured by you..
It just feels like its all around you. Moving in. IT feels like its going to pierce the skin of your eyeball..your face feels like its about to cave in or flip inside out.
and you stare here waiting for a reason to not feel like this..reading and reading sucking the life out of words..
anything. it all feels good compared to this. The forced illusions of good act like little hits, your denial is so consious it makes you throb with a contained sickness.. your so tired of fighting against what you know your bones are made out of.
It's never hurt so much. YOU remember that this is the sort of hurt that you can't survive.. this is the kind that you know will finally kill you.. but never does.
and then your finished.. and you know its over.. and you don't know whats worse.
You feel like your eyes hold the weight of all that exists within the core of you and everything is sore. You've forgotten what it feels to be satisfied and you dont know if you could ever survive it again.
remember you dont care.
I dont need to be lured by you..