hoooray!! i am freeeeee!!!!
ahhhh...to be 18.
how refreshing and simple.
im really starting to enjoy my life...of course it will take some getting used to but im up for the change. i had been living the same sort of life for a long time. the weird thing is- i find myself eating a lot more like im searching for comfort. i think its totally possible i just hope i dont end up gaining a pot belly b/c i moved out.
i miss my mom too...how lame does that sound. its true though- she was a delightful person to see everyday. she always brightened my personality even if she was bitching at me. sigh. rachael said i would get over it- she did. but i dunno...i just dont sleep as soundly and feel as comfortable as when i know my mom is in the room down the hall. whenever i had bad dreams when i was a kid i would go sleep on the ground by my mom's side of the bed. she would wake up when i came in and ask me if i was alright and wish me sweet dreams...but i had to grow up some time, right? now is the time. it does hurt, but it feels a lot better, if you know what i mean!!!
ANYWAY, my birthday was really awesome...deffinately a day to remember forever. the moving of my stuff with rachael's van worked out nicely and my bed fits perfectly in my room. after i got it partially set up i went and got my MARYLIN pierced...it was a last minute mind change that made it happen but its worked out just fine. jess likes it, my co workers like it, my friends at school like it...only my parents and one girl at work doesnt like it. there is a very good percentage of people in my favor muahahahah!
moving on...
after the piercing me and jess went back to my new room and rolled some joints for the show. when we got hungry we ordered pizza from sahara to eat our mushrooms on...the pizza was full of flavor and hid the gross mushroom taste perfectly but i ended up eating a few too many mushrooms. jess had like an eighth and half of an eighth. he ate what he wanted and i ate the rest of the caps and big stems- now that i think back i did eat quite a few little ones- and then i gave the crumbs and remaining stems to issac (def). issac was supposed to drive us to the concert but he ended up frying pretty hard...sam carpenter had to drive b/c he was the only one out of us who wasnt enebriated (sp?) back to the story- i fried really hard and didnt want to go to the concert at all but they got me in the car anyways. i guess the drive down to seattle was quite memorable between drunk ben and frying def and me looking all drugged up with glassed over eyes (jess holding me the whole time). i had a scary trip where i was freaking out about everything bad...whenever i fry hard i have a hard time keeping in touch with reality. i just cant eat a lot of kubenzies (sp?) ever again. i dont like frying like that.
when i came down i was sitting in the back of issac's car looking at a pink and yellow "copy mart" sign. i was down like a light switch *clink* and i wasnt frying anymore. the first thing i did was look jess deep in the eyes...his ocean eyes...he totally took care of me the whole time. he could have left me in the car and went into the show w/o me but he stayed with me and kept telling me that i was alright and that i was in seattle. i guess i told him i wanted to go home a whole lot while i was high...i remember that. i also remember thinking i was going to fry forever. thats a bad feeling. but back to jess- he was really sweet to me. after i came down we came so much closer in our relationship saying "i'll love you forever" and "i'll always be here for you"...at that point i was so happy to be not high and be there with the sweetest boy ever- although i fried balls it was one of the best nights of my life.
after jess told me all about what i missed and told me the show hadnt started yet we decided to go catch a little bit of it. we got in for like a song- it was totally packed in neumos and neurosis was really heavy. they slowly worked their way into a wall of sound between the time we came in and the time when i could handle it no longer...i started to get tunnel vision and was totally out of breath and dizzy...i had to leave the loud place and get my bearings. so of course, once we left we couldnt get back in and i was bummed that i ruined the concert for jess but we ended up going to a pretty nice sushi bar. we hung out there until we thought the show would be over and then went back to chill in the car. i love jess so much. that night proves that we were meant to be together. he was frying too- he could have just said "fuck this" and ditched me at my house but he forced me to enjoy myself. i wish i would always come down off mushrooms and be in seattle. its such a cool city at night.
it was a memorable and awesome birthday for me. since then i've moved pretty much all my stuff out of my parents house. i think only my camera and my conditioner need to be picked up. im really enjoying being completely independent and self motivated. i've gotten to school on time and worked quite a bit. me and jess are happy as ever. plus, i cashed some bonds that my grandparents gave me a while ago and got like $270 out of it. im not broke at all and its almost payday. i totally have hope for a happy and secure future.
i got napoleon dynamite, cheech and chong up in smoke and resvior (sp?) dogs on dvd and neil young's greatest hits all for my birthday. jess gave me one of his copies of abbey road and im the only person he's ever given one of his records to. he also got his compensation check (for getting hit by a car a few years ago) and he's gonna get a QP so he gave me a bunch of gonja to smoke for free...it was so generous of him. we've slept together every night since i moved out. i think it might be my favorite part of living on my own...spending all my free time with amazing jess...
anyway, this entry is too long.
hope everyone else had a good long weekend!!
how refreshing and simple.
im really starting to enjoy my life...of course it will take some getting used to but im up for the change. i had been living the same sort of life for a long time. the weird thing is- i find myself eating a lot more like im searching for comfort. i think its totally possible i just hope i dont end up gaining a pot belly b/c i moved out.
i miss my mom too...how lame does that sound. its true though- she was a delightful person to see everyday. she always brightened my personality even if she was bitching at me. sigh. rachael said i would get over it- she did. but i dunno...i just dont sleep as soundly and feel as comfortable as when i know my mom is in the room down the hall. whenever i had bad dreams when i was a kid i would go sleep on the ground by my mom's side of the bed. she would wake up when i came in and ask me if i was alright and wish me sweet dreams...but i had to grow up some time, right? now is the time. it does hurt, but it feels a lot better, if you know what i mean!!!
ANYWAY, my birthday was really awesome...deffinately a day to remember forever. the moving of my stuff with rachael's van worked out nicely and my bed fits perfectly in my room. after i got it partially set up i went and got my MARYLIN pierced...it was a last minute mind change that made it happen but its worked out just fine. jess likes it, my co workers like it, my friends at school like it...only my parents and one girl at work doesnt like it. there is a very good percentage of people in my favor muahahahah!
moving on...
after the piercing me and jess went back to my new room and rolled some joints for the show. when we got hungry we ordered pizza from sahara to eat our mushrooms on...the pizza was full of flavor and hid the gross mushroom taste perfectly but i ended up eating a few too many mushrooms. jess had like an eighth and half of an eighth. he ate what he wanted and i ate the rest of the caps and big stems- now that i think back i did eat quite a few little ones- and then i gave the crumbs and remaining stems to issac (def). issac was supposed to drive us to the concert but he ended up frying pretty hard...sam carpenter had to drive b/c he was the only one out of us who wasnt enebriated (sp?) back to the story- i fried really hard and didnt want to go to the concert at all but they got me in the car anyways. i guess the drive down to seattle was quite memorable between drunk ben and frying def and me looking all drugged up with glassed over eyes (jess holding me the whole time). i had a scary trip where i was freaking out about everything bad...whenever i fry hard i have a hard time keeping in touch with reality. i just cant eat a lot of kubenzies (sp?) ever again. i dont like frying like that.
when i came down i was sitting in the back of issac's car looking at a pink and yellow "copy mart" sign. i was down like a light switch *clink* and i wasnt frying anymore. the first thing i did was look jess deep in the eyes...his ocean eyes...he totally took care of me the whole time. he could have left me in the car and went into the show w/o me but he stayed with me and kept telling me that i was alright and that i was in seattle. i guess i told him i wanted to go home a whole lot while i was high...i remember that. i also remember thinking i was going to fry forever. thats a bad feeling. but back to jess- he was really sweet to me. after i came down we came so much closer in our relationship saying "i'll love you forever" and "i'll always be here for you"...at that point i was so happy to be not high and be there with the sweetest boy ever- although i fried balls it was one of the best nights of my life.
after jess told me all about what i missed and told me the show hadnt started yet we decided to go catch a little bit of it. we got in for like a song- it was totally packed in neumos and neurosis was really heavy. they slowly worked their way into a wall of sound between the time we came in and the time when i could handle it no longer...i started to get tunnel vision and was totally out of breath and dizzy...i had to leave the loud place and get my bearings. so of course, once we left we couldnt get back in and i was bummed that i ruined the concert for jess but we ended up going to a pretty nice sushi bar. we hung out there until we thought the show would be over and then went back to chill in the car. i love jess so much. that night proves that we were meant to be together. he was frying too- he could have just said "fuck this" and ditched me at my house but he forced me to enjoy myself. i wish i would always come down off mushrooms and be in seattle. its such a cool city at night.
it was a memorable and awesome birthday for me. since then i've moved pretty much all my stuff out of my parents house. i think only my camera and my conditioner need to be picked up. im really enjoying being completely independent and self motivated. i've gotten to school on time and worked quite a bit. me and jess are happy as ever. plus, i cashed some bonds that my grandparents gave me a while ago and got like $270 out of it. im not broke at all and its almost payday. i totally have hope for a happy and secure future.
i got napoleon dynamite, cheech and chong up in smoke and resvior (sp?) dogs on dvd and neil young's greatest hits all for my birthday. jess gave me one of his copies of abbey road and im the only person he's ever given one of his records to. he also got his compensation check (for getting hit by a car a few years ago) and he's gonna get a QP so he gave me a bunch of gonja to smoke for free...it was so generous of him. we've slept together every night since i moved out. i think it might be my favorite part of living on my own...spending all my free time with amazing jess...
anyway, this entry is too long.
hope everyone else had a good long weekend!!