Lock up your toddlers, here comes that crazy lady.
After nearly a six month total absence from blogging, I can't believe that my re-entry into the medium will be as ridiculous as it is.
Well, it is me, after all. Okay. Yes, I can.
Here goes.
You should know that I'm the sort of person that needs incentives to reach any sort of goal. If I don't have an incentive, I'm likely to just sit on the sofa and blithely wave to the goals in the distance, while eating chips and queso. I need incentives. Rewards, if you will. I'll reward myself with fresh flowers for slogging to the grocery store 5 times a week, a cookie for a week of dieting well done, a new dress in a size smaller than I actually wear hanging in the forefront of my closet as the proverbial dangling carrot to reduce my weight from all the cookies. And on a related note, I use audiobooks as an incentive to get my butt up off that sofa and exercise outside.
I find that if I'm caught up in a book, I'm more likely to go faster and walk farther. And because I abhor exercise in all of its many forms, literally ANYTHING I can do to make it resemble some semblance of fun is necessary. I've listened to Historical Romances, Mysteries, Crime Novels and Chick Lit, but what I keep coming back to is Comedy. Tina Fey's latest, read by the author, was really funny, and it seemed that my stride is a little more peppy when I'm amused than when I'm imagining the dreary landscapes of Winterfell in Games of Thrones.
So earlier this week when I started my walk, I went to my audible.com account to continue listening to my latest in thigh-shrinking incentive, David Sedaris' 'Let's Explore Diabetes With Owls.'
I mean, if the title doesn't say it all...
David Sedaris is clever, self-deprecating, irreverent, and a little sad, but the underlying theme beneath it all is humor, pure and simple. The man makes me laugh. I read his last book on an airplane and got all sorts of strange looks because I was laughing. Loudly. A lot. I have a sort of distinctive laugh, and I feel that if you don't love me, maybe it might be a little annoying. I had an English professor in college tell me I should look into getting work on laugh tracks.
Because that's what the actress girl getting a BFA in Theatre Arts wants to hear.
Anyway, I highly recommend Mr. Sedaris if you don't need a deeply thought-provoking read; The Santaland Diaries, When you are Engulfed in Flames, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim are all good reads, but today wen I was out doing my walk/jog/shuffle thing (complete with super dorky ankle weights!), his latest made me laugh harder than I ever have before.
That's saying something, folks. I'm an easy room. I laugh a lot. At anything, really.
But now I know that it seems some people find my laugh disturbing. Scary, even.
Because as I was at about mile four, I started laughing so hard that if I didn't stop, bladder control was going to be an issue. So I did, and as I stood there doubled over, snorting and giggling and probably looking a bit insane, I realized that I was being watched. From across the street, a little boy, no more than two years old, was looking at me intently, no doubt wondering what the heck was so funny. He waved at me, and between snorts and chortles I tried to wave back.
I tried, that is, until his mother gathered him up, gave me a shocked look, as if I were some sort of comedic/pedophile hybrid, infecting her precious baby with my uncontrolled laughter, and bundled her kiddo into the house.
Which made me laugh even harder.
So. I've had to change my route. I can't have rumors starting in the neighborhood that I'm somehow corrupting the preschool set with all of my laughing.
Or maybe I should just finish Game of Thrones. There's certainly not a lot of opportunity for side-splitting laughter, there. Or maybe you could recommend something...
Until then, I'll try to control yourself so you don't have to lock up your babies.
Well, it is me, after all. Okay. Yes, I can.
Here goes.
You should know that I'm the sort of person that needs incentives to reach any sort of goal. If I don't have an incentive, I'm likely to just sit on the sofa and blithely wave to the goals in the distance, while eating chips and queso. I need incentives. Rewards, if you will. I'll reward myself with fresh flowers for slogging to the grocery store 5 times a week, a cookie for a week of dieting well done, a new dress in a size smaller than I actually wear hanging in the forefront of my closet as the proverbial dangling carrot to reduce my weight from all the cookies. And on a related note, I use audiobooks as an incentive to get my butt up off that sofa and exercise outside.
I find that if I'm caught up in a book, I'm more likely to go faster and walk farther. And because I abhor exercise in all of its many forms, literally ANYTHING I can do to make it resemble some semblance of fun is necessary. I've listened to Historical Romances, Mysteries, Crime Novels and Chick Lit, but what I keep coming back to is Comedy. Tina Fey's latest, read by the author, was really funny, and it seemed that my stride is a little more peppy when I'm amused than when I'm imagining the dreary landscapes of Winterfell in Games of Thrones.
So earlier this week when I started my walk, I went to my audible.com account to continue listening to my latest in thigh-shrinking incentive, David Sedaris' 'Let's Explore Diabetes With Owls.'
I mean, if the title doesn't say it all...
David Sedaris is clever, self-deprecating, irreverent, and a little sad, but the underlying theme beneath it all is humor, pure and simple. The man makes me laugh. I read his last book on an airplane and got all sorts of strange looks because I was laughing. Loudly. A lot. I have a sort of distinctive laugh, and I feel that if you don't love me, maybe it might be a little annoying. I had an English professor in college tell me I should look into getting work on laugh tracks.
Because that's what the actress girl getting a BFA in Theatre Arts wants to hear.
Anyway, I highly recommend Mr. Sedaris if you don't need a deeply thought-provoking read; The Santaland Diaries, When you are Engulfed in Flames, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim are all good reads, but today wen I was out doing my walk/jog/shuffle thing (complete with super dorky ankle weights!), his latest made me laugh harder than I ever have before.
That's saying something, folks. I'm an easy room. I laugh a lot. At anything, really.
But now I know that it seems some people find my laugh disturbing. Scary, even.
Because as I was at about mile four, I started laughing so hard that if I didn't stop, bladder control was going to be an issue. So I did, and as I stood there doubled over, snorting and giggling and probably looking a bit insane, I realized that I was being watched. From across the street, a little boy, no more than two years old, was looking at me intently, no doubt wondering what the heck was so funny. He waved at me, and between snorts and chortles I tried to wave back.
I tried, that is, until his mother gathered him up, gave me a shocked look, as if I were some sort of comedic/pedophile hybrid, infecting her precious baby with my uncontrolled laughter, and bundled her kiddo into the house.
Which made me laugh even harder.
So. I've had to change my route. I can't have rumors starting in the neighborhood that I'm somehow corrupting the preschool set with all of my laughing.
Or maybe I should just finish Game of Thrones. There's certainly not a lot of opportunity for side-splitting laughter, there. Or maybe you could recommend something...
Until then, I'll try to control yourself so you don't have to lock up your babies.