FIC: AN INCONVENIENT AFFAIR (SS/SB)
So. I've written Snack :)
Title: An Inconvenient Affair
Rating: NC-17
Summary: After a chance meeting at a muggle bar the two rivals manage to get drunk and fall into bed together. They agree on a "just sex" relationship but what happens when the walls start falling down and Sirius and Severus start actually liking each other?
Warning: I am very sorry, but there is no hate!sex. I'm a soft Snacker.
A big Thank You to my Beta misse ♡ (Deepest apologies, I confused my Betas!!!)
I changed parts after you returned the fic to me, so all remaining mistakes are mine!
Thank you to the mods of the Sirius Black Fest 2012! I am forever grateful to you for you organising this fest for Sirius Black!
I was actually determined not to write for fests for a while, but I figured the Sirius Black fest won't be too crowded as it is, and I have a weak spot for Sirius Black. Or maybe I identify with him on certain levels. Not that I was ever as popular as he was, but some of his traits-immaturity and stubborness-I can also display. Also, his almost only (?) redeeming quality, a dog-like loyalty, is something that I have been accused of.
I might also identify with him because I like to interpret his twelve years of prison as drug dependency. That's probably a little too much interpretation and yet, a lot of the descriptions of his time in Azkaban remind me of the bleak side of heroine addiction.
You know, I always feel bad for liking Sirius Black. A lot of my friends on LJ and IJ have, rightly, pointed out, that I probably like him because Gary Oldman plays him, and Film!Sirius comes across nicer than Book!Sirius. Take away Gary Oldman and not many likeable qualities remain.
I have written one or two Snacks in the past already, and my Sirius is always a little OOC. Or a lot. He is not vicious, not as hypocritical as Canon!Sirius. He is remorseful, which in my world is a fundamental premise for all Snacks I write (I don't do hate!sex very well). This of course is definitely wishful thinking since the point in Canon is that Sirius Black has learned nothing. He can't even distinguish Harry from James, and the way he fights with Snape is incredibly childish.
Maybe this is also a part of my fascination with this pairing-Severus and Sirius are in some ways like cat and dog. Snape has many catlike traits and it's not a coincidence that his Animagus form in many fics is a black cat. He is intellectually definitely more agile than Sirius, and in many fights, Snape seems to lash out viciously and hit his weak spots unerringly while Sirius barks out insults in helpless fury.
Then again they are both eerily similar, in their insistence to live in the past, and both are held prisoner by their perceived mistakes and sins. This tendency prevents both from growing up. Both are steered by regret and are lost in life. This is not as evident with Snape than with Sirius, because we perceive Snape as disciplined in Canon, but I feel that especially in The Half Blood Prince, the emptiness of Snape's existence is revealed. Like Sirius, Snape lives in the old home of his parents. Snape's anchors are Dumbledore, his lifelong servitude to him and the promises he is determined to keep while Sirius clings to Harry and his memories of James and the Marauders.
Of course all my Siriuses are filled with powerful love and desire for Severus and all the bullying, hatred and antagonism are ways of protecting himself and to avoid having to face that devastating truth. Of course it's illogical. I don't feel the need to justify my love for Snack with rational explanations. I only want a bit of redemption, forgiveness, to correct what I see as an injustice. In Canon they both die these horrible, senseless deaths and I would like to give them a life afterwards instead, a chance to survive the war and finally free themselves from their past and achieve some sort of freedom or happiness.
Title: An Inconvenient Affair
Rating: NC-17
Summary: After a chance meeting at a muggle bar the two rivals manage to get drunk and fall into bed together. They agree on a "just sex" relationship but what happens when the walls start falling down and Sirius and Severus start actually liking each other?
Warning: I am very sorry, but there is no hate!sex. I'm a soft Snacker.
A big Thank You to my Beta misse ♡ (Deepest apologies, I confused my Betas!!!)
I changed parts after you returned the fic to me, so all remaining mistakes are mine!
Thank you to the mods of the Sirius Black Fest 2012! I am forever grateful to you for you organising this fest for Sirius Black!
I was actually determined not to write for fests for a while, but I figured the Sirius Black fest won't be too crowded as it is, and I have a weak spot for Sirius Black. Or maybe I identify with him on certain levels. Not that I was ever as popular as he was, but some of his traits-immaturity and stubborness-I can also display. Also, his almost only (?) redeeming quality, a dog-like loyalty, is something that I have been accused of.
I might also identify with him because I like to interpret his twelve years of prison as drug dependency. That's probably a little too much interpretation and yet, a lot of the descriptions of his time in Azkaban remind me of the bleak side of heroine addiction.
You know, I always feel bad for liking Sirius Black. A lot of my friends on LJ and IJ have, rightly, pointed out, that I probably like him because Gary Oldman plays him, and Film!Sirius comes across nicer than Book!Sirius. Take away Gary Oldman and not many likeable qualities remain.
I have written one or two Snacks in the past already, and my Sirius is always a little OOC. Or a lot. He is not vicious, not as hypocritical as Canon!Sirius. He is remorseful, which in my world is a fundamental premise for all Snacks I write (I don't do hate!sex very well). This of course is definitely wishful thinking since the point in Canon is that Sirius Black has learned nothing. He can't even distinguish Harry from James, and the way he fights with Snape is incredibly childish.
Maybe this is also a part of my fascination with this pairing-Severus and Sirius are in some ways like cat and dog. Snape has many catlike traits and it's not a coincidence that his Animagus form in many fics is a black cat. He is intellectually definitely more agile than Sirius, and in many fights, Snape seems to lash out viciously and hit his weak spots unerringly while Sirius barks out insults in helpless fury.
Then again they are both eerily similar, in their insistence to live in the past, and both are held prisoner by their perceived mistakes and sins. This tendency prevents both from growing up. Both are steered by regret and are lost in life. This is not as evident with Snape than with Sirius, because we perceive Snape as disciplined in Canon, but I feel that especially in The Half Blood Prince, the emptiness of Snape's existence is revealed. Like Sirius, Snape lives in the old home of his parents. Snape's anchors are Dumbledore, his lifelong servitude to him and the promises he is determined to keep while Sirius clings to Harry and his memories of James and the Marauders.
Of course all my Siriuses are filled with powerful love and desire for Severus and all the bullying, hatred and antagonism are ways of protecting himself and to avoid having to face that devastating truth. Of course it's illogical. I don't feel the need to justify my love for Snack with rational explanations. I only want a bit of redemption, forgiveness, to correct what I see as an injustice. In Canon they both die these horrible, senseless deaths and I would like to give them a life afterwards instead, a chance to survive the war and finally free themselves from their past and achieve some sort of freedom or happiness.