Fic: Smalltown Boy (DMOC, Josh/Cooper, NC17)
Title: Smalltown Boy
Fandom: Dead Man On Campus
Pairing: Josh/Cooper
Rating: NC17
Summary: AU. Josh goes to visit Cooper in Buffalo and learns a lot more than he bargained for about how Cooper grew up. Part five of the Senior Year series.
"Do you think it's true that cell phones give you brain cancer?"
Josh looked down at the cell phone in his hand, frowning at it suspiciously as he considered the question. "I thought they decided that wasn't true."
"I'm pretty sure they decided that in small doses it probably wouldn't kill you. But with the way you walk around with that thing attached to your ear I get the feeling it's already too late for you." Emily smirked as he looked up long enough to scowl at her, dropping the offending device into his jacket pocket before he turned back to her again.
"I don't talk to him that much."
"Uh huh. And any day now Joshua Jackson is going to drive up to my house in a black Porsche and take me away from all of this."
"Joshua Jackson?" Josh laughed and yanked his arm away when she reached out to playfully smack him. "Well at least he's got a good name."
"Cute." Emily rolled her eyes as she took the exit for the airport. "And here I was actually going to miss you this summer. Now I'm kind of glad you're leaving."
"Yeah, because if Josh Jackson shows up I'd hate to be in the way."
"Keep it up and I'm not coming inside to wait with you until your plane takes off," she said as she switched to the lane marked 'short-term parking'. Josh chuckled softly but wisely chose not to say anything else, keeping his opinion on Emily's taste in men to himself as she parked the car and turned off the ignition. He let himself out and opened the trunk, reaching for his bag and hoisting it over his shoulder. He had no idea if he had enough stuff for a whole month; the longest he'd ever been away from home was his nine days in France, and packing had been the last thing on his mind right before that trip. He'd tried to plan better this time, if for no other reason than so he wouldn't embarrass himself in front of Cooper's family. He had a feeling that was a losing battle, though.
The fact that he was going at all was a miracle, really; his mother and the school eventually reached a 'compromise' that meant he spent almost a whole month of his summer vacation in summer school, making up for the month of suspension the school had imposed on him in the first place. He didn't really think that was fair, but his mother said it was the only way to keep him from getting kicked out altogether so he didn't have a choice. She'd finally agreed to let him go to New York to see Cooper, but only on the condition that he at least spent a few weeks at home before he left for college. So that left him with a month in Buffalo, which terrified him as much as it excited him.
A few days with Cooper was great, and a whole week in Europe had been amazing. A whole month of being together all the time, though. . .Josh wanted to believe Emily when she assured him he'd have a great time, but part of him worried that Cooper would get bored with him and start rethinking their relationship. It was easy to make promises about love and forever when they barely ever saw each other, but neither of them had a clue what the day-to-day work of a relationship was like. He tried to be optimistic like Cooper and believe that they'd figure it out together, but the closer he got to his trip to Buffalo the harder it was to buy that theory.
He still didn't know much about Cooper's family, but the little he'd heard made him nervous enough to think twice about getting on the plane. It had been four months since the last time he saw Cooper, though, and he really wanted to see him again. He just wanted to touch him, to see that he wasn't just some delusion Josh had dreamed up during one of his weaker moments.
It wasn't that he didn't want to spend the month with Cooper. He'd fought really hard to get his mother to agree to this trip, especially after the way his last few months of school went. He'd hoped that the disastrous run-ins he'd had with a few of the guys in his class and the less overt but still more or less sanctioned harassment that his mother would be eager to send him away, but she seemed to think she could keep him safer locked in their house. It was pretty clear that nobody really wanted him around besides his mom and Emily, though, so things couldn't be any worse in Buffalo. At least that's what he kept telling himself.
He really wanted to see Cooper; it was his family that Josh was most nervous about. Okay, he was nervous that Cooper was going to realize after a week that he didn't really want Josh around on a regular basis, but he was more nervous about how Cooper's parents would react to him staying in their house. Cooper had told him at least a dozen times that they probably wouldn't even notice, but Josh couldn't believe that. How could they not notice an extra person hanging around their house? Especially one that was sleeping with their son.
The only positive he'd been able to come up with - aside from actually seeing Cooper - was that at least he wasn't in danger of getting kicked out of high school this time. Not that seeing Cooper wasn't a huge plus; it was the one thing that had kept him going during the last three months, when he walked into school and found the word 'fag' spray painted across his locker in safety orange. It was the thing that stopped him from giving up and just quitting school when the whispers got a little too loud and the 'accidental' shoves in the hallway got a little too frequent to really be accidental.
Quitting high school three months before graduation wasn't an option, not when his mother worked so hard to keep him in school. She'd gone so many rounds with his principal that Josh lost track after awhile, finally agreeing to the month of summer school and not letting Josh graduate with the rest of his class. Not that he really gave a damn about sitting in the auditorium with a bunch of kids that hated him, but his mother seemed disappointed. It was just one more thing to add to the list of ways he'd screwed up both their lives, he reminded himself as he found the line for his flight.
"You know you don't have to wait if you don't want to," he said, glancing over at Emily as she stopped next to him.
"Trying to get rid of me?"
"No, I just…you know, summer vacation and all. You probably have better things to do than hang around an airport with me."
"Not really. You know as well as I do that life in Sandborn isn't exactly a thrill a minute. Besides, this is pretty much it, isn't it? I mean as soon as you get back you'll be leaving again."
"I'll be home for two weeks," he said. "And who knows, Cooper might get sick of me and kick me out in a week."
"Yeah, right." She let out a sarcastic laugh and rolled her eyes at the idea of Cooper getting sick of Josh. He wished he could be as confident as she was, but there was still that voice in the back of his head telling him that everything could change in the next month. "Please, Josh. You have to be forgetting that I've met the guy, and I've seen the way you look at each other. There's no way he's going to get sick of you."
He smiled but didn't answer; he didn't trust himself not to tell her what he'd been worrying about for the past three months, and he knew what she'd say if he did tell her. She'd just tell him he was worrying about nothing, that Cooper's family would like him just fine and if they didn't it was their problem. That was what she said about everyone at school, and he appreciated what she was trying to do even though it never made him feel any better. Still, at least he had one person besides his mother on his side. "I promise to call and tell you how exciting Buffalo isn't," he said as they inched toward the ticket counter.
"You could spend the entire month watching paint peel off Cooper's house and it would still be more interesting than being in Sandborn. At least it would be new paint, right?"
"Good point." He returned her grin, some of his nervousness fading as he realized she was right. At least New York would be a change of scenery, and he wouldn't have to worry about Emily's brother and his friends making Josh's life miserable. Of course there was always the chance that Cooper's parents would do that, but with any luck Cooper wasn't exaggerating when he said they wouldn't even be around for most of the summer.
Once he'd checked his bag and gotten his boarding pass they headed for the concourse, stopping to flip through the magazines and buy overpriced junk food before they made their way to his gate. He sprawled next to Emily in one of the stiff plastic chairs close to the gate, half-listening to her constant stream of talk about how different things were going to be at school the next year. He knew she was trying to keep his mind off the moment when he got off the plane and saw Cooper again, but no matter how she tried to distract him there was no way he could think about anything else.
“You need to relax,” Emily said, shaking her head when he looked over at her. “Look at you. You’re gonna have a nervous breakdown before you even get there. They’ll have to Medivac you to some hospital and you’ll spend your entire summer recovering from a stroke or something.”
He frowned to keep himself from laughing at the look of disgust marring her features, suddenly wishing she was going with him to New York. At least that way he’d have something from home there in case things really did go as badly as he was afraid they would. “Too bad you’re not coming with me. You’re better than one of those medic alert bracelets.”
“Sure, you say that now, but as soon as you get off that plane you’ll forget you even have a poor, lonely high school kid back at home pining away for you. Besides, wouldn’t Cooper love it if you brought your beard with you to his house.”
“My what?”
“Forget it,” Emily said, rolling her eyes in a way that let him know he should know what she was talking about. “You really need to get out more, Josh. You’ll have a great time in Buffalo. And if you don’t, you can always call me and I’ll sneak out of Indiana and meet you in New York City. We could have a blast before my parents figured out where I was and called the cops.”
The thought of her father’s face when he made that phone call made Josh laugh, which made him wish even more that she was going with him. Ever since Cooper showed up unexpectedly at Josh’s house over Christmas break his life had been crazy, but the past three months had been a lot easier because of Emily. She didn’t worry about guilt by association; she didn’t seem to care what anybody thought of their friendship, and now that he was leaving he realized he really was going to miss her. Her senior year wouldn’t be nearly as dreary as she tried to make it sound, he was fairly sure about that. Her friends thought it was weird that she spent so much time with Josh, but most of them hadn’t turned their backs on her.
Randy hadn’t said or done anything directly to Josh since Cooper put in that phone call to his uncle, but Josh knew he wasn’t happy that his little sister was friends with Josh. Josh was pretty sure she’d sat down next to him on the plane to France with the intention of irritating her brother anyway, their friendship was just a fringe benefit of getting back at Randy for being a jerk her whole life. Not that Josh really blamed her; part of him took a twisted pleasure in the fact that whenever Randy saw Josh and Emily together he looked like he wanted to kill somebody. Josh would be the first candidate for that impulse, though, so he tried not to push it too much. There was no telling how much it would take to make Randy forget whatever Cooper’s uncle had threatened to do if he came near Josh again.
That hadn’t stopped the talk at school or the unimaginative decorations he was constantly finding on and around his locker, but there wasn’t much anybody could do about that. He tried to ignore it and most of the time it didn’t bother him that much, but sometimes it was hard to get out of bed and force himself to go to school for another day of torture. That was all over now, at least Sandborn’s version of harassment was behind him and he could get on with the rest of his life. He had no idea what to expect from college or even what to expect when he got to Buffalo, but if he’d survived his last three months of high school he could deal with whatever happened now.
At least he hoped he could. Some days he still wasn’t sure if he’d made the right choice when he let Cooper push him up against that wall in New York City and kiss him for the first time. His life had been going along okay up until that point; he always knew there was something about him that made him different from the other kids at school, but as long as he didn’t act on it he could pretend he was just like everybody else. That all changed the minute he kissed Cooper the first time, and sometimes he wondered if it was too late to go back. Whenever the thought crossed his mind he hated himself instantly, but that never made it go away. It was always in the back of his mind, and whenever something happened at school or his mother looked at him a certain way it got a little louder.
Finally they called his flight and he stood up, enveloping Emily in a tight hug that lasted a few seconds longer than it needed to. He knew as soon as he let go that was it, he was going to have to get on the plane and start the rest of his life. There was no going back to the way things were a year ago or even six months ago, but as soon as he got on that plane he wouldn’t even be able to pretend he could still turn back time.
“Quit stalling,” Emily said, pushing him away and smiling sympathetically when he looked down at her. “Say hi to Cooper for me.”
“I’ll call you, you can say hi to him yourself,” Josh promised, swinging his backpack over his shoulder and glancing over at the line of people waiting to board.
“Don’t worry about me. In fact, don’t worry about anything. Just have fun and I’ll see you when you get home.”
He nodded and walked away, glancing over his shoulder to wave at her when she looked back at him. When she finally disappeared into the crowd he took a deep breath and turned back to the line ahead of him, handing his ticket to the agent and forcing his legs to carry him forward. He was going to relax and have a good time, he just had to keep telling himself that. Emily was right; as soon as he got to Buffalo and saw Cooper again everything would be fine.
~
“Dude, I swear to God…” Nick trailed off with a disgusted sigh as he watched Cooper check his watch again. “Stop fucking fidgeting or I’m gonna knock your ass out and when you wake up again he’ll already be back in Idaho.”
“Indiana.”
“Wherever. Just calm the fuck down.”
“You drove all the way to his house, why can’t you remember what state he lives in?” Cooper asked, stopping his constant movement long enough to look up at his cousin.
“Because I blocked that shitty little town out of my memory,” Nick answered, grinning at the dark look on Cooper’s face. “And don’t even try defending that dive to me. You should hate it even more than I do, it’s your boyfriend at the receiving end of their favorite Saturday night entertainment. You really want to go back to a place where Bash the Fag is a spectator sport?”
“No. But don’t say shit like that in front of Josh. He still has to go back there.”
“All the more reason he’ll know exactly what I’m talking about,” Nick pointed out, raising his eyebrows when Cooper opened his mouth to argue. “Looks like the Farmboy’s ride just landed.”
Cooper forgot the argument instantly, turning to look out the window of the concourse at the plane taxiing down the runway. He had to resist the urge to press his face against the plexiglass like a kid waiting for his father to come back from a business trip loaded with cheap presents he picked up in some hotel gift shop. Nick had been telling him to chill out for almost a week, and the truth was he was even starting to irritate himself. He couldn’t help it, though; as soon as Josh told him his mother had given him permission to spend part of the summer in Buffalo he hadn’t been able to think about anything else.
Granted it was only a month, and Josh had to get through a month of summer school before he could leave Sandborn behind. Which had turned out to be the longest month of Cooper’s life, because without school to break up the monotony he hadn’t been able to do anything besides obsess about when Josh would finally be there with him. He was driving Nick and everybody else in his family crazy, but he couldn’t help himself. He’d never been so single-minded in his life, but then again he’d never felt this way about anybody before.
It felt like forever before the plane finally started to deboard, and he knew Nick was on the verge of following through on his threat to knock Cooper out. Finally he spotted Josh at the end of the row of passengers, though, and his heart did a weird little dance number as he pushed his way through the crowd. As soon as he got to the front of the row of people waiting for friends and family members Josh spotted him, his eyes lighting up with a mixture of nerves and anticipation. Cooper waited until Josh was clear of the rest of the passengers before he moved forward, pulling the taller boy out of the line of traffic and wrapping his arms around him.
“I was starting to think you changed your mind,” Cooper said, his breath hitting Josh’s neck as he leaned close and breathed in the other boy’s scent.
Josh shook his head and let out a nervous laugh, tightening his grip on Cooper for a second before he let go and pulled out of his reach. “No, they just stuck me way in the back. Had to wait for everybody to get out of the way before I could move.”
Cooper reached out to take Josh’s backpack, ignoring the other boy’s protest about carrying his own bag. “Come on, Nick’s around here somewhere,” Cooper said, resting his free hand on the small of Josh’s back to guide him through the crowd.
When they found Nick he took a step back, taking advantage of Josh’s distraction to study the other boy’s profile. Josh looked just as wide-eyed and corruptible as he remembered, and the nervousness Cooper found so charming was still there. It was all he could do not to launch himself at Josh and kiss him until he couldn’t remember his own name, but he remembered how nervous those kinds of public displays made Josh. He’d gotten a little more comfortable in Paris, but a lot had happened since then and Cooper wasn’t taking any chances.
“You gotta have more than just that,” Nick said, drawing Cooper’s attention away from Josh’s profile as his cousin pointed at Josh’s backpack.
“Yeah, I’ve got another bag,” Josh answered, glancing in the direction most of the passengers from his flight were headed in.
Cooper swallowed the urge to put his arms around Josh again, shifting the heavy backpack onto his shoulder as he let his hand settle on Josh’s back again. “Baggage claim it is,” he said, falling into step next to Nick. So far Josh hadn’t said much, but he hadn’t pulled away from Cooper so he decided to take that as a good sign. He knew Josh had had a hard time with the last few months of school, and he expected things to be a little tense when they first saw each other again. As soon as he got Josh alone everything would be fine, he’d been telling himself that for so long that he almost believed it.
As soon as they reached the baggage claim area Nick pulled out his cell phone and nodded in the direction of short-term parking. Cooper nodded back and turned back to Josh, forcing himself to pull his hand away from Josh’s back. It was hard to be so close to him and not touch, especially after all the time they’d spent apart. The fact that he always wanted to touch Josh even when it wasn’t leading to anything was still weird for him, but he was starting to get used to it and he had to admit he liked it. There was just something comforting about knowing he could touch Josh whenever he wanted, even if it was just a hand on his back or arm while they were waiting for his luggage.
“Emily says hi,” Josh said, the break in the silence only heightening the almost palpable tension between them. Cooper turned to look at the other boy, his breath catching in his throat at Josh’s open expression. He was pretty sure Josh didn’t mean to look so nervous and vulnerable, but it was a look that always made Cooper want to wrap his arms around Josh and keep him safe from the rest of the world. Which was another weird feeling he was still getting used to, but he had a whole month to practice.
Before he had time to talk himself out of it he reached out and put his arm around Josh’s shoulders, easing him a little closer and running his fingers through the soft hair that just brushed Josh’s collar. “Is she still bored out of her mind?”
“I have a feeling Emily would be bored in the middle of a tornado,” Josh answered, unconsciously leaning a little further into Cooper’s touch. Cooper smiled at the picture they must present to the rest of the passengers on Josh’s flight, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. It wasn’t like he was used to censoring himself anyway, and they weren’t in Indiana anymore so he could touch Josh if he wanted to.
“Probably,” he answered distractedly, most of his attention focused on Josh’s profile as the other boy’s eyes fluttered closed. “Tired?”
He regretted the question as soon as it escaped his lips, because Josh’s eyes snapped open again and he straightened up. He didn’t pull away completely, but Cooper could tell that he’d forgotten where they were just long enough to relax for a minute. As soon as he remembered they were standing in the middle of a crowded airport he tensed up again, and Cooper couldn’t help wondering if he’d ever get over feeling self-conscious whenever they weren’t alone.
“I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night,” he answered, reaching up with one hand to rub his eyes. He caught sight of his bag on the carousel that was slowly turning in front of them, pulling out of Cooper’s grip to pull it off the belt.
“That it?” Cooper asked, eyeing the single bag as he tried to decide how someone could fit a month’s worth of stuff in one bag and a backpack.
“Yeah,” Josh answered, swinging the heavy bag over his shoulder.
“I thought you were staying all month.”
“I am,” Josh said, glancing nervously at Cooper as they turned toward the door. “My flight back is on the 10th. Why?”
Cooper grinned and shook his head, resisting the urge to slide an arm around Josh’s waist as he searched the sea of cars for Nick’s Toyota. “Just checking.”
Finally he spotted Nick’s car, the trunk already open as his cousin leaned back in the front seat and carried on a conversation with whoever was on the other end of his cell phone. They tossed Josh’s bag and backpack into the trunk, but before Josh could close it Cooper reached out and stopped him. He ignored the questioning look in the other boy’s eyes as he glanced around to make sure there was nobody watching them, then he turned back to Josh and grinned.
“I need to do this, it’s driving me crazy,” he said. He’d used that line before on guys he’d met at clubs, and once he’d even said it to a guy at school. It was a really effective way to get somebody’s attention and throw them off balance before he laid a kiss on them, but this was the first time he’d ever actually meant it. They still had a twenty minute car ride before they had any chance of being alone, and Nick wasn’t going to put up with them making out in the back seat the whole way back to town. He’d do a lot of things for Cooper, but he’d already spent most of the morning bitching about having to go to the airport and Cooper didn’t want to start a fight on Josh’s first day in town.
He didn’t give Josh time to think before he leaned forward, his hand on the back of Josh’s neck to pull him closer. It surprised him that Josh didn’t tense up as soon as he realized what was going on, but when their lips met Josh’s hands landed on Cooper’s waist to pull him even closer. Cooper registered the sound of a muffled groan that he recognized as his own, his fingers trailing through Josh’s hair as he let the other boy push him back against the car. And maybe Josh wasn’t so uncomfortable with the whole public display thing after all, because anybody could walk by and it didn’t seem to bother him. In fact Cooper was pretty sure he’d forgotten where they were the second their lips met.
He wasn't about to remind him, though, because it felt way too good to have Josh pressed up against him again after three months apart. The hands that were on his waist slid under his shirt, fingers splayed across the skin on his back and pressing hard enough to leave a mark. Even that felt good, though, because it reassured Cooper that Josh was really there and this wasn’t one of the many dreams he’d had of this moment. Finally he had to pull away, gasping for breath as he rested his hands on Josh’s chest. “I hope you brought everything you need, because I’m not letting you out of my room for at least a week,” he said, grinning at the flash of desire in Josh’s eyes.
“God, I missed you,” Josh said, leaning forward again to press his lips to Cooper’s. Josh looked almost nervous about saying it out loud, like maybe Cooper wouldn’t want to hear something like that. Maybe he just hadn’t realized how much he’d missed Cooper until they were together again; Cooper knew how that felt, because until he saw Josh walk off the plane none of it had seemed real.
“You okay?” Cooper asked when he pulled back again, cupping Josh’s face in his hands to force the other boy to meet his eyes.
“Yeah,” Josh answered, his voice coming out in a breathy gasp.
“You sure?”
“I’m fine, Cooper,” Josh said, a shy smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “I’m just trying to convince myself I’m really here.”
“I know the feeling.” Cooper grinned and pushed himself off the car, closing the trunk before he turned back to Josh. “Come on, Nick’s gonna start bitching if we make him wait all day. Besides, the sooner we get outta here the sooner we get to my house.”
Half an hour later they pulled up outside of Cooper’s house, both of them climbing out of the car practically before Nick rolled to a stop. Nick shook his head when Cooper leaned back into the car to say goodbye, waiting until they’d pulled Josh’s luggage out of the trunk before he waved and pulled back onto the road. As soon as Nick was gone Cooper turned back to Josh, reaching for his backpack and sliding an arm around Josh’s shoulders to lead him toward the house.
“You hungry or anything?” he asked as he tried to remember if there was any actual food in the house. He couldn’t remember the last time they’d actually had dinner as a family, and there was no way he was going to find somebody to deliver before noon.
“No, I’m alright,” Josh answered distractedly, his gaze fixed on the sprawling white house in front of them.
Cooper grinned and steered him to the front door, stopping long enough to dig his keys out and open the door. He let Josh brush past him into the house and closed the door, dropping his keys on a table in the foyer before he headed for the stairs. “Come on,” he said, reaching for Josh’s free hand to pull him up the stairs to his room.
“Where are your parents?” Josh asked as he followed Cooper up the stairs.
“Mommy Dearest went to Europe. Every summer all the rich, bored housewives of America descend on Paris, and all the Parisians go on vacation. Can’t say I blame them, I wouldn’t want to be around my mother either. Anyway she’ll be there for a couple weeks, and Pop’s in the city on business. So we’ve got the whole place to ourselves.”
Josh grinned as they reached the top of the stairs, dropping his bag on the floor and pulling Cooper back toward him. “When does your dad get back?”
“I don’t know, sometime next week I think,” Cooper answered. “Why?”
“So there’s nobody else here?”
“Well we have people come in to clean every week, but they don’t come back for a couple days. When my parents aren’t here they don’t keep somebody around to cook just for me. Guess they figure if I starve that’s one less problem for them to deal with.”
Josh’s smile faded as he reached out to trace the curve of Cooper’s jaw, but he kept his opinion about Cooper’s parents to himself. Instead of answering he leaned forward and fused their lips together again, using his free hand to push his backpack off Cooper’s shoulder and onto the floor. Now that he knew they were alone all his nervousness faded, and he kissed Cooper with an intensity that left him gasping for air when Josh pulled away again.
Part of Cooper was tempted to forget taking the time to go all the way to his room, and judging from the way Josh was looking at him it wouldn’t have mattered to him if they did it right there in the hallway. In the end his bed won out over the cold, hard marble floor, though, and he grabbed the front of Josh’s shirt and started walking them backwards down the hall again. “You can get your stuff later,” he said when Josh hesitated and glanced down at his bags. “Much later.”
Josh nodded and let Cooper pull him into a room at the far end of the hall, barely registering his surroundings as he found himself being pushed down onto a bed at least three times the size of his. He stopped long enough to yank his shirt over his head before he pulled Cooper down next to him, leaning forward to press their lips together again. Cooper groaned against Josh’s mouth and pushed him onto his back, taking a second just to look at him before he swung one leg over Josh’s to straddle his hips.
“Is everything okay with Nick?” Josh asked as he reached up to unbutton Cooper’s shirt.
“I’m not even gonna ask why you’re thinking about my cousin right now. He’s fine as far as I know.”
Josh laughed softly and worked another one of Cooper’s buttons open, letting his fingers brush the smooth skin he revealed as he worked his way down Cooper’s shirt. “He just didn’t seem that happy about…well, about anything. I thought maybe he was pissed that he had to come pick me up.”
“It doesn’t have anything to do with you,” Cooper answered as Josh pushed his shirt open. He pulled it off the rest of the way and dropped it behind him, fighting the urge to close his eyes as Josh ran his hands down Cooper’s chest. “He’s pissed that his dad’s making him go to college. And he doesn’t have anybody to hang out with for the next month.”
“He’s gonna miss you when he goes to college, isn’t he?”
Cooper laughed at the mixture of guilt and regret in Josh’s eyes and moved far enough down Josh’s legs to work open his jeans. “It’s not like we’re sleeping together or something.”
“Funny,” Josh muttered, his expression making Cooper regret the sarcastic answer. He should have just told Josh the truth; that Nick wouldn’t miss Cooper because he’d be going to college with him. He wasn’t sure if Josh’s first day in town was the best time to spring that on him, though, so he leaned over Josh and pressed a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth.
“I’m sorry, it was a stupid thing to say. But it’s no big deal, it’s not like we can’t go to clubs with him while you’re here. So he has to sit through his uncle’s boring dinners by himself, they’ll all be glad I’m not hanging around anyway.”
He didn’t mean for it to sound quite as bitter as it came out, but Josh let it go and pulled him back down for another, longer kiss. He groaned and reached between them to tug Josh’s zipper down, working one hand past the denim of his jeans to gently stroke the hardness pressed against his hand. He grinned against Josh's mouth when he heard the other boy gasp, tearing their mouths apart to watch Josh's eyelids flutter as he thrust into Cooper's touch.
"Cooper…can't…" Josh whispered between gasps for air, his breath hitting Cooper's neck and sending a shiver down his spine.
"I know," Cooper answered, pausing long enough to work his hand under the waistband of Josh's boxers. When his fingers closed around hot velvet he smiled, pressing his lips to Josh's mouth, then his cheek and finally his ear. "It's okay, you just need to take the edge off."
Josh nodded shakily and squeezed his eyes shut tight, his forehead dropping to Cooper's shoulder as he thrust harder into the other boy's grip. And he was pretty sure he could stay like this forever, with Josh breathless and moving against him and looking so…alive. He didn't realize how much he'd worried about that while they were apart; worrying about anyone was pretty new to him and the fact that Josh could actually be in danger in his own hometown was hard for Cooper to imagine.
As soon as the thought occurred to him he swallowed hard and slid his free hand between them to slide his own zipper down, working his aching erection free and closing his hand around both of them before he began stroking again. Josh's eyes fluttered open as he leaned forward, capturing Cooper's mouth with his in the same instant that he closed his hand over Cooper's to increase the pressure of his strokes. The strength of his feelings for Josh still shocked him even after all the time they’d been together, but now that they were in the same room again Cooper couldn’t hold any of it back anymore. There were a dozen different things he’d been fantasizing about since Josh called to tell him that his trip was definitely on, but he knew he’d never be able to control himself long enough to do any of them.
Taking the edge off their desire seemed like the smartest thing to do, and he wasn’t disappointed when he found himself tensing against Josh and gasping his release against the other boy’s mouth a lot sooner than he’d planned. His grip tightened reflexively, pulling Josh over the edge and leaving him panting into Cooper’s sweat-dampened hair. He pulled back far enough to look at Josh, reaching up to run his thumb across the other boy’s kiss-swollen lips. Josh’s face was flushed and his eyes were still unfocused, his lips parting reflexively as Cooper traced them.
“Sorry,” Josh murmured, looking down as his cheeks flushed an even deeper shade of red.
“For what?” Cooper asked, although he had a feeling he already knew exactly why Josh was apologizing. It was hard to believe after everything they’d done together that Josh could still be insecure about their sex life, but they were apart more than they were together and it wasn’t like he’d really gotten a chance to get used to it. “There’s nothing to be sorry for, Josh. Everything’s good, now that you’re finally here. Okay?”
Josh nodded, a tentative smile turning up the corners of his mouth. “To tell you the truth I still can’t believe I actually got on the plane.”
He’d been able to tell even over the phone that Josh was nervous about the trip, and even though they hadn’t talked about it he had a feeling he knew why. Josh had been nervous in Paris too, though, and after he got used to the idea of people seeing them together he relaxed. It would just take him a couple days to adjust to being in Buffalo, and before long he’d forget all about how hard his life was back in Indiana.
Cooper leaned forward and pressed his lips to Josh’s again, teasing the other boys’ mouth open as he tried to convey in a kiss what he couldn’t put into words. He’d never been that good at saying how he felt, and if it was possible Josh was even worse than him. So between the two of them he wasn’t sure they’d ever say out loud what was on both their minds, but most of the time he was positive they were thinking the same thing. Every once in awhile he wondered if maybe he was reading Josh wrong, if he was rushing into a commitment neither of them would be able to keep. He worried about it more when he remembered how inexperienced Josh was, but most of the time he was sure they could make it work. Sure, the odds were against them, but it wasn’t impossible.
It wasn’t much of a motto to live by, but it was all they had to work with and he wasn’t willing to give up on Josh until he didn’t have any other choice. Feeling that way about someone scared the hell out of him, and the fact that it was someone as unlikely as Josh made him even more nervous. Josh loved him, though, and no matter how insecure he got he’d never doubted that. It was a strange feeling to know without question that Josh loved him, but he could get used to it. At least he thought he’d get used to it someday.
He was so lost in the feeling of Josh’s mouth moving against his that it took him a few seconds to register the sound of the other boy’s stomach growling. When he heard the low rumble again he laughed and pulled away, smiling at the fresh blush creeping into Josh’s cheeks.
“Hungry?” He smirked when Josh rolled his eyes at him, pushing himself off the mattress and readjusting his jeans. When he looked back down at Josh the other boy was sitting up, his bottom lip caught between his teeth. Cooper’s heart skipped a beat at the look on the other boy’s face, but he reminded himself that Josh was going to look nervous for a little while. He just had to wait it out until Josh got comfortable, then everything would be fine. “What?”
“Nothing, I just…I could use to clean up a little before we go anywhere.” Josh glanced down at his stomach and then back up at Cooper, his lips turning up in a nervous grin. “Mind if I use your bathroom?”
Cooper swallowed a groan at the thought of forgetting about food for awhile and dragging Josh into the shower, filing the thought away for later. “It’s right through that door,” he answered, gesturing over his shoulder toward the half-open door that led to his bathroom. “I think the maid stuck some clean towels in the closet if you wanna take a shower.”
“Thanks,” Josh murmured as Cooper pulled him off the mattress, leaning forward for another quick kiss before he released Josh and pushed him gently in the direction of the bathroom. He took a deep breath as he watched Josh walk away, summoning up whatever will power he could find just to keep himself from following. Now that Josh was actually in his house it was hard to let him out of Cooper’s sight even for a few minutes, but he knew he couldn’t follow him around every second of the day. He waited until Josh shut the door before he let out a sigh and forced himself to head downstairs to find something to eat.
Fandom: Dead Man On Campus
Pairing: Josh/Cooper
Rating: NC17
Summary: AU. Josh goes to visit Cooper in Buffalo and learns a lot more than he bargained for about how Cooper grew up. Part five of the Senior Year series.
"Do you think it's true that cell phones give you brain cancer?"
Josh looked down at the cell phone in his hand, frowning at it suspiciously as he considered the question. "I thought they decided that wasn't true."
"I'm pretty sure they decided that in small doses it probably wouldn't kill you. But with the way you walk around with that thing attached to your ear I get the feeling it's already too late for you." Emily smirked as he looked up long enough to scowl at her, dropping the offending device into his jacket pocket before he turned back to her again.
"I don't talk to him that much."
"Uh huh. And any day now Joshua Jackson is going to drive up to my house in a black Porsche and take me away from all of this."
"Joshua Jackson?" Josh laughed and yanked his arm away when she reached out to playfully smack him. "Well at least he's got a good name."
"Cute." Emily rolled her eyes as she took the exit for the airport. "And here I was actually going to miss you this summer. Now I'm kind of glad you're leaving."
"Yeah, because if Josh Jackson shows up I'd hate to be in the way."
"Keep it up and I'm not coming inside to wait with you until your plane takes off," she said as she switched to the lane marked 'short-term parking'. Josh chuckled softly but wisely chose not to say anything else, keeping his opinion on Emily's taste in men to himself as she parked the car and turned off the ignition. He let himself out and opened the trunk, reaching for his bag and hoisting it over his shoulder. He had no idea if he had enough stuff for a whole month; the longest he'd ever been away from home was his nine days in France, and packing had been the last thing on his mind right before that trip. He'd tried to plan better this time, if for no other reason than so he wouldn't embarrass himself in front of Cooper's family. He had a feeling that was a losing battle, though.
The fact that he was going at all was a miracle, really; his mother and the school eventually reached a 'compromise' that meant he spent almost a whole month of his summer vacation in summer school, making up for the month of suspension the school had imposed on him in the first place. He didn't really think that was fair, but his mother said it was the only way to keep him from getting kicked out altogether so he didn't have a choice. She'd finally agreed to let him go to New York to see Cooper, but only on the condition that he at least spent a few weeks at home before he left for college. So that left him with a month in Buffalo, which terrified him as much as it excited him.
A few days with Cooper was great, and a whole week in Europe had been amazing. A whole month of being together all the time, though. . .Josh wanted to believe Emily when she assured him he'd have a great time, but part of him worried that Cooper would get bored with him and start rethinking their relationship. It was easy to make promises about love and forever when they barely ever saw each other, but neither of them had a clue what the day-to-day work of a relationship was like. He tried to be optimistic like Cooper and believe that they'd figure it out together, but the closer he got to his trip to Buffalo the harder it was to buy that theory.
He still didn't know much about Cooper's family, but the little he'd heard made him nervous enough to think twice about getting on the plane. It had been four months since the last time he saw Cooper, though, and he really wanted to see him again. He just wanted to touch him, to see that he wasn't just some delusion Josh had dreamed up during one of his weaker moments.
It wasn't that he didn't want to spend the month with Cooper. He'd fought really hard to get his mother to agree to this trip, especially after the way his last few months of school went. He'd hoped that the disastrous run-ins he'd had with a few of the guys in his class and the less overt but still more or less sanctioned harassment that his mother would be eager to send him away, but she seemed to think she could keep him safer locked in their house. It was pretty clear that nobody really wanted him around besides his mom and Emily, though, so things couldn't be any worse in Buffalo. At least that's what he kept telling himself.
He really wanted to see Cooper; it was his family that Josh was most nervous about. Okay, he was nervous that Cooper was going to realize after a week that he didn't really want Josh around on a regular basis, but he was more nervous about how Cooper's parents would react to him staying in their house. Cooper had told him at least a dozen times that they probably wouldn't even notice, but Josh couldn't believe that. How could they not notice an extra person hanging around their house? Especially one that was sleeping with their son.
The only positive he'd been able to come up with - aside from actually seeing Cooper - was that at least he wasn't in danger of getting kicked out of high school this time. Not that seeing Cooper wasn't a huge plus; it was the one thing that had kept him going during the last three months, when he walked into school and found the word 'fag' spray painted across his locker in safety orange. It was the thing that stopped him from giving up and just quitting school when the whispers got a little too loud and the 'accidental' shoves in the hallway got a little too frequent to really be accidental.
Quitting high school three months before graduation wasn't an option, not when his mother worked so hard to keep him in school. She'd gone so many rounds with his principal that Josh lost track after awhile, finally agreeing to the month of summer school and not letting Josh graduate with the rest of his class. Not that he really gave a damn about sitting in the auditorium with a bunch of kids that hated him, but his mother seemed disappointed. It was just one more thing to add to the list of ways he'd screwed up both their lives, he reminded himself as he found the line for his flight.
"You know you don't have to wait if you don't want to," he said, glancing over at Emily as she stopped next to him.
"Trying to get rid of me?"
"No, I just…you know, summer vacation and all. You probably have better things to do than hang around an airport with me."
"Not really. You know as well as I do that life in Sandborn isn't exactly a thrill a minute. Besides, this is pretty much it, isn't it? I mean as soon as you get back you'll be leaving again."
"I'll be home for two weeks," he said. "And who knows, Cooper might get sick of me and kick me out in a week."
"Yeah, right." She let out a sarcastic laugh and rolled her eyes at the idea of Cooper getting sick of Josh. He wished he could be as confident as she was, but there was still that voice in the back of his head telling him that everything could change in the next month. "Please, Josh. You have to be forgetting that I've met the guy, and I've seen the way you look at each other. There's no way he's going to get sick of you."
He smiled but didn't answer; he didn't trust himself not to tell her what he'd been worrying about for the past three months, and he knew what she'd say if he did tell her. She'd just tell him he was worrying about nothing, that Cooper's family would like him just fine and if they didn't it was their problem. That was what she said about everyone at school, and he appreciated what she was trying to do even though it never made him feel any better. Still, at least he had one person besides his mother on his side. "I promise to call and tell you how exciting Buffalo isn't," he said as they inched toward the ticket counter.
"You could spend the entire month watching paint peel off Cooper's house and it would still be more interesting than being in Sandborn. At least it would be new paint, right?"
"Good point." He returned her grin, some of his nervousness fading as he realized she was right. At least New York would be a change of scenery, and he wouldn't have to worry about Emily's brother and his friends making Josh's life miserable. Of course there was always the chance that Cooper's parents would do that, but with any luck Cooper wasn't exaggerating when he said they wouldn't even be around for most of the summer.
Once he'd checked his bag and gotten his boarding pass they headed for the concourse, stopping to flip through the magazines and buy overpriced junk food before they made their way to his gate. He sprawled next to Emily in one of the stiff plastic chairs close to the gate, half-listening to her constant stream of talk about how different things were going to be at school the next year. He knew she was trying to keep his mind off the moment when he got off the plane and saw Cooper again, but no matter how she tried to distract him there was no way he could think about anything else.
“You need to relax,” Emily said, shaking her head when he looked over at her. “Look at you. You’re gonna have a nervous breakdown before you even get there. They’ll have to Medivac you to some hospital and you’ll spend your entire summer recovering from a stroke or something.”
He frowned to keep himself from laughing at the look of disgust marring her features, suddenly wishing she was going with him to New York. At least that way he’d have something from home there in case things really did go as badly as he was afraid they would. “Too bad you’re not coming with me. You’re better than one of those medic alert bracelets.”
“Sure, you say that now, but as soon as you get off that plane you’ll forget you even have a poor, lonely high school kid back at home pining away for you. Besides, wouldn’t Cooper love it if you brought your beard with you to his house.”
“My what?”
“Forget it,” Emily said, rolling her eyes in a way that let him know he should know what she was talking about. “You really need to get out more, Josh. You’ll have a great time in Buffalo. And if you don’t, you can always call me and I’ll sneak out of Indiana and meet you in New York City. We could have a blast before my parents figured out where I was and called the cops.”
The thought of her father’s face when he made that phone call made Josh laugh, which made him wish even more that she was going with him. Ever since Cooper showed up unexpectedly at Josh’s house over Christmas break his life had been crazy, but the past three months had been a lot easier because of Emily. She didn’t worry about guilt by association; she didn’t seem to care what anybody thought of their friendship, and now that he was leaving he realized he really was going to miss her. Her senior year wouldn’t be nearly as dreary as she tried to make it sound, he was fairly sure about that. Her friends thought it was weird that she spent so much time with Josh, but most of them hadn’t turned their backs on her.
Randy hadn’t said or done anything directly to Josh since Cooper put in that phone call to his uncle, but Josh knew he wasn’t happy that his little sister was friends with Josh. Josh was pretty sure she’d sat down next to him on the plane to France with the intention of irritating her brother anyway, their friendship was just a fringe benefit of getting back at Randy for being a jerk her whole life. Not that Josh really blamed her; part of him took a twisted pleasure in the fact that whenever Randy saw Josh and Emily together he looked like he wanted to kill somebody. Josh would be the first candidate for that impulse, though, so he tried not to push it too much. There was no telling how much it would take to make Randy forget whatever Cooper’s uncle had threatened to do if he came near Josh again.
That hadn’t stopped the talk at school or the unimaginative decorations he was constantly finding on and around his locker, but there wasn’t much anybody could do about that. He tried to ignore it and most of the time it didn’t bother him that much, but sometimes it was hard to get out of bed and force himself to go to school for another day of torture. That was all over now, at least Sandborn’s version of harassment was behind him and he could get on with the rest of his life. He had no idea what to expect from college or even what to expect when he got to Buffalo, but if he’d survived his last three months of high school he could deal with whatever happened now.
At least he hoped he could. Some days he still wasn’t sure if he’d made the right choice when he let Cooper push him up against that wall in New York City and kiss him for the first time. His life had been going along okay up until that point; he always knew there was something about him that made him different from the other kids at school, but as long as he didn’t act on it he could pretend he was just like everybody else. That all changed the minute he kissed Cooper the first time, and sometimes he wondered if it was too late to go back. Whenever the thought crossed his mind he hated himself instantly, but that never made it go away. It was always in the back of his mind, and whenever something happened at school or his mother looked at him a certain way it got a little louder.
Finally they called his flight and he stood up, enveloping Emily in a tight hug that lasted a few seconds longer than it needed to. He knew as soon as he let go that was it, he was going to have to get on the plane and start the rest of his life. There was no going back to the way things were a year ago or even six months ago, but as soon as he got on that plane he wouldn’t even be able to pretend he could still turn back time.
“Quit stalling,” Emily said, pushing him away and smiling sympathetically when he looked down at her. “Say hi to Cooper for me.”
“I’ll call you, you can say hi to him yourself,” Josh promised, swinging his backpack over his shoulder and glancing over at the line of people waiting to board.
“Don’t worry about me. In fact, don’t worry about anything. Just have fun and I’ll see you when you get home.”
He nodded and walked away, glancing over his shoulder to wave at her when she looked back at him. When she finally disappeared into the crowd he took a deep breath and turned back to the line ahead of him, handing his ticket to the agent and forcing his legs to carry him forward. He was going to relax and have a good time, he just had to keep telling himself that. Emily was right; as soon as he got to Buffalo and saw Cooper again everything would be fine.
~
“Dude, I swear to God…” Nick trailed off with a disgusted sigh as he watched Cooper check his watch again. “Stop fucking fidgeting or I’m gonna knock your ass out and when you wake up again he’ll already be back in Idaho.”
“Indiana.”
“Wherever. Just calm the fuck down.”
“You drove all the way to his house, why can’t you remember what state he lives in?” Cooper asked, stopping his constant movement long enough to look up at his cousin.
“Because I blocked that shitty little town out of my memory,” Nick answered, grinning at the dark look on Cooper’s face. “And don’t even try defending that dive to me. You should hate it even more than I do, it’s your boyfriend at the receiving end of their favorite Saturday night entertainment. You really want to go back to a place where Bash the Fag is a spectator sport?”
“No. But don’t say shit like that in front of Josh. He still has to go back there.”
“All the more reason he’ll know exactly what I’m talking about,” Nick pointed out, raising his eyebrows when Cooper opened his mouth to argue. “Looks like the Farmboy’s ride just landed.”
Cooper forgot the argument instantly, turning to look out the window of the concourse at the plane taxiing down the runway. He had to resist the urge to press his face against the plexiglass like a kid waiting for his father to come back from a business trip loaded with cheap presents he picked up in some hotel gift shop. Nick had been telling him to chill out for almost a week, and the truth was he was even starting to irritate himself. He couldn’t help it, though; as soon as Josh told him his mother had given him permission to spend part of the summer in Buffalo he hadn’t been able to think about anything else.
Granted it was only a month, and Josh had to get through a month of summer school before he could leave Sandborn behind. Which had turned out to be the longest month of Cooper’s life, because without school to break up the monotony he hadn’t been able to do anything besides obsess about when Josh would finally be there with him. He was driving Nick and everybody else in his family crazy, but he couldn’t help himself. He’d never been so single-minded in his life, but then again he’d never felt this way about anybody before.
It felt like forever before the plane finally started to deboard, and he knew Nick was on the verge of following through on his threat to knock Cooper out. Finally he spotted Josh at the end of the row of passengers, though, and his heart did a weird little dance number as he pushed his way through the crowd. As soon as he got to the front of the row of people waiting for friends and family members Josh spotted him, his eyes lighting up with a mixture of nerves and anticipation. Cooper waited until Josh was clear of the rest of the passengers before he moved forward, pulling the taller boy out of the line of traffic and wrapping his arms around him.
“I was starting to think you changed your mind,” Cooper said, his breath hitting Josh’s neck as he leaned close and breathed in the other boy’s scent.
Josh shook his head and let out a nervous laugh, tightening his grip on Cooper for a second before he let go and pulled out of his reach. “No, they just stuck me way in the back. Had to wait for everybody to get out of the way before I could move.”
Cooper reached out to take Josh’s backpack, ignoring the other boy’s protest about carrying his own bag. “Come on, Nick’s around here somewhere,” Cooper said, resting his free hand on the small of Josh’s back to guide him through the crowd.
When they found Nick he took a step back, taking advantage of Josh’s distraction to study the other boy’s profile. Josh looked just as wide-eyed and corruptible as he remembered, and the nervousness Cooper found so charming was still there. It was all he could do not to launch himself at Josh and kiss him until he couldn’t remember his own name, but he remembered how nervous those kinds of public displays made Josh. He’d gotten a little more comfortable in Paris, but a lot had happened since then and Cooper wasn’t taking any chances.
“You gotta have more than just that,” Nick said, drawing Cooper’s attention away from Josh’s profile as his cousin pointed at Josh’s backpack.
“Yeah, I’ve got another bag,” Josh answered, glancing in the direction most of the passengers from his flight were headed in.
Cooper swallowed the urge to put his arms around Josh again, shifting the heavy backpack onto his shoulder as he let his hand settle on Josh’s back again. “Baggage claim it is,” he said, falling into step next to Nick. So far Josh hadn’t said much, but he hadn’t pulled away from Cooper so he decided to take that as a good sign. He knew Josh had had a hard time with the last few months of school, and he expected things to be a little tense when they first saw each other again. As soon as he got Josh alone everything would be fine, he’d been telling himself that for so long that he almost believed it.
As soon as they reached the baggage claim area Nick pulled out his cell phone and nodded in the direction of short-term parking. Cooper nodded back and turned back to Josh, forcing himself to pull his hand away from Josh’s back. It was hard to be so close to him and not touch, especially after all the time they’d spent apart. The fact that he always wanted to touch Josh even when it wasn’t leading to anything was still weird for him, but he was starting to get used to it and he had to admit he liked it. There was just something comforting about knowing he could touch Josh whenever he wanted, even if it was just a hand on his back or arm while they were waiting for his luggage.
“Emily says hi,” Josh said, the break in the silence only heightening the almost palpable tension between them. Cooper turned to look at the other boy, his breath catching in his throat at Josh’s open expression. He was pretty sure Josh didn’t mean to look so nervous and vulnerable, but it was a look that always made Cooper want to wrap his arms around Josh and keep him safe from the rest of the world. Which was another weird feeling he was still getting used to, but he had a whole month to practice.
Before he had time to talk himself out of it he reached out and put his arm around Josh’s shoulders, easing him a little closer and running his fingers through the soft hair that just brushed Josh’s collar. “Is she still bored out of her mind?”
“I have a feeling Emily would be bored in the middle of a tornado,” Josh answered, unconsciously leaning a little further into Cooper’s touch. Cooper smiled at the picture they must present to the rest of the passengers on Josh’s flight, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. It wasn’t like he was used to censoring himself anyway, and they weren’t in Indiana anymore so he could touch Josh if he wanted to.
“Probably,” he answered distractedly, most of his attention focused on Josh’s profile as the other boy’s eyes fluttered closed. “Tired?”
He regretted the question as soon as it escaped his lips, because Josh’s eyes snapped open again and he straightened up. He didn’t pull away completely, but Cooper could tell that he’d forgotten where they were just long enough to relax for a minute. As soon as he remembered they were standing in the middle of a crowded airport he tensed up again, and Cooper couldn’t help wondering if he’d ever get over feeling self-conscious whenever they weren’t alone.
“I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night,” he answered, reaching up with one hand to rub his eyes. He caught sight of his bag on the carousel that was slowly turning in front of them, pulling out of Cooper’s grip to pull it off the belt.
“That it?” Cooper asked, eyeing the single bag as he tried to decide how someone could fit a month’s worth of stuff in one bag and a backpack.
“Yeah,” Josh answered, swinging the heavy bag over his shoulder.
“I thought you were staying all month.”
“I am,” Josh said, glancing nervously at Cooper as they turned toward the door. “My flight back is on the 10th. Why?”
Cooper grinned and shook his head, resisting the urge to slide an arm around Josh’s waist as he searched the sea of cars for Nick’s Toyota. “Just checking.”
Finally he spotted Nick’s car, the trunk already open as his cousin leaned back in the front seat and carried on a conversation with whoever was on the other end of his cell phone. They tossed Josh’s bag and backpack into the trunk, but before Josh could close it Cooper reached out and stopped him. He ignored the questioning look in the other boy’s eyes as he glanced around to make sure there was nobody watching them, then he turned back to Josh and grinned.
“I need to do this, it’s driving me crazy,” he said. He’d used that line before on guys he’d met at clubs, and once he’d even said it to a guy at school. It was a really effective way to get somebody’s attention and throw them off balance before he laid a kiss on them, but this was the first time he’d ever actually meant it. They still had a twenty minute car ride before they had any chance of being alone, and Nick wasn’t going to put up with them making out in the back seat the whole way back to town. He’d do a lot of things for Cooper, but he’d already spent most of the morning bitching about having to go to the airport and Cooper didn’t want to start a fight on Josh’s first day in town.
He didn’t give Josh time to think before he leaned forward, his hand on the back of Josh’s neck to pull him closer. It surprised him that Josh didn’t tense up as soon as he realized what was going on, but when their lips met Josh’s hands landed on Cooper’s waist to pull him even closer. Cooper registered the sound of a muffled groan that he recognized as his own, his fingers trailing through Josh’s hair as he let the other boy push him back against the car. And maybe Josh wasn’t so uncomfortable with the whole public display thing after all, because anybody could walk by and it didn’t seem to bother him. In fact Cooper was pretty sure he’d forgotten where they were the second their lips met.
He wasn't about to remind him, though, because it felt way too good to have Josh pressed up against him again after three months apart. The hands that were on his waist slid under his shirt, fingers splayed across the skin on his back and pressing hard enough to leave a mark. Even that felt good, though, because it reassured Cooper that Josh was really there and this wasn’t one of the many dreams he’d had of this moment. Finally he had to pull away, gasping for breath as he rested his hands on Josh’s chest. “I hope you brought everything you need, because I’m not letting you out of my room for at least a week,” he said, grinning at the flash of desire in Josh’s eyes.
“God, I missed you,” Josh said, leaning forward again to press his lips to Cooper’s. Josh looked almost nervous about saying it out loud, like maybe Cooper wouldn’t want to hear something like that. Maybe he just hadn’t realized how much he’d missed Cooper until they were together again; Cooper knew how that felt, because until he saw Josh walk off the plane none of it had seemed real.
“You okay?” Cooper asked when he pulled back again, cupping Josh’s face in his hands to force the other boy to meet his eyes.
“Yeah,” Josh answered, his voice coming out in a breathy gasp.
“You sure?”
“I’m fine, Cooper,” Josh said, a shy smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “I’m just trying to convince myself I’m really here.”
“I know the feeling.” Cooper grinned and pushed himself off the car, closing the trunk before he turned back to Josh. “Come on, Nick’s gonna start bitching if we make him wait all day. Besides, the sooner we get outta here the sooner we get to my house.”
Half an hour later they pulled up outside of Cooper’s house, both of them climbing out of the car practically before Nick rolled to a stop. Nick shook his head when Cooper leaned back into the car to say goodbye, waiting until they’d pulled Josh’s luggage out of the trunk before he waved and pulled back onto the road. As soon as Nick was gone Cooper turned back to Josh, reaching for his backpack and sliding an arm around Josh’s shoulders to lead him toward the house.
“You hungry or anything?” he asked as he tried to remember if there was any actual food in the house. He couldn’t remember the last time they’d actually had dinner as a family, and there was no way he was going to find somebody to deliver before noon.
“No, I’m alright,” Josh answered distractedly, his gaze fixed on the sprawling white house in front of them.
Cooper grinned and steered him to the front door, stopping long enough to dig his keys out and open the door. He let Josh brush past him into the house and closed the door, dropping his keys on a table in the foyer before he headed for the stairs. “Come on,” he said, reaching for Josh’s free hand to pull him up the stairs to his room.
“Where are your parents?” Josh asked as he followed Cooper up the stairs.
“Mommy Dearest went to Europe. Every summer all the rich, bored housewives of America descend on Paris, and all the Parisians go on vacation. Can’t say I blame them, I wouldn’t want to be around my mother either. Anyway she’ll be there for a couple weeks, and Pop’s in the city on business. So we’ve got the whole place to ourselves.”
Josh grinned as they reached the top of the stairs, dropping his bag on the floor and pulling Cooper back toward him. “When does your dad get back?”
“I don’t know, sometime next week I think,” Cooper answered. “Why?”
“So there’s nobody else here?”
“Well we have people come in to clean every week, but they don’t come back for a couple days. When my parents aren’t here they don’t keep somebody around to cook just for me. Guess they figure if I starve that’s one less problem for them to deal with.”
Josh’s smile faded as he reached out to trace the curve of Cooper’s jaw, but he kept his opinion about Cooper’s parents to himself. Instead of answering he leaned forward and fused their lips together again, using his free hand to push his backpack off Cooper’s shoulder and onto the floor. Now that he knew they were alone all his nervousness faded, and he kissed Cooper with an intensity that left him gasping for air when Josh pulled away again.
Part of Cooper was tempted to forget taking the time to go all the way to his room, and judging from the way Josh was looking at him it wouldn’t have mattered to him if they did it right there in the hallway. In the end his bed won out over the cold, hard marble floor, though, and he grabbed the front of Josh’s shirt and started walking them backwards down the hall again. “You can get your stuff later,” he said when Josh hesitated and glanced down at his bags. “Much later.”
Josh nodded and let Cooper pull him into a room at the far end of the hall, barely registering his surroundings as he found himself being pushed down onto a bed at least three times the size of his. He stopped long enough to yank his shirt over his head before he pulled Cooper down next to him, leaning forward to press their lips together again. Cooper groaned against Josh’s mouth and pushed him onto his back, taking a second just to look at him before he swung one leg over Josh’s to straddle his hips.
“Is everything okay with Nick?” Josh asked as he reached up to unbutton Cooper’s shirt.
“I’m not even gonna ask why you’re thinking about my cousin right now. He’s fine as far as I know.”
Josh laughed softly and worked another one of Cooper’s buttons open, letting his fingers brush the smooth skin he revealed as he worked his way down Cooper’s shirt. “He just didn’t seem that happy about…well, about anything. I thought maybe he was pissed that he had to come pick me up.”
“It doesn’t have anything to do with you,” Cooper answered as Josh pushed his shirt open. He pulled it off the rest of the way and dropped it behind him, fighting the urge to close his eyes as Josh ran his hands down Cooper’s chest. “He’s pissed that his dad’s making him go to college. And he doesn’t have anybody to hang out with for the next month.”
“He’s gonna miss you when he goes to college, isn’t he?”
Cooper laughed at the mixture of guilt and regret in Josh’s eyes and moved far enough down Josh’s legs to work open his jeans. “It’s not like we’re sleeping together or something.”
“Funny,” Josh muttered, his expression making Cooper regret the sarcastic answer. He should have just told Josh the truth; that Nick wouldn’t miss Cooper because he’d be going to college with him. He wasn’t sure if Josh’s first day in town was the best time to spring that on him, though, so he leaned over Josh and pressed a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth.
“I’m sorry, it was a stupid thing to say. But it’s no big deal, it’s not like we can’t go to clubs with him while you’re here. So he has to sit through his uncle’s boring dinners by himself, they’ll all be glad I’m not hanging around anyway.”
He didn’t mean for it to sound quite as bitter as it came out, but Josh let it go and pulled him back down for another, longer kiss. He groaned and reached between them to tug Josh’s zipper down, working one hand past the denim of his jeans to gently stroke the hardness pressed against his hand. He grinned against Josh's mouth when he heard the other boy gasp, tearing their mouths apart to watch Josh's eyelids flutter as he thrust into Cooper's touch.
"Cooper…can't…" Josh whispered between gasps for air, his breath hitting Cooper's neck and sending a shiver down his spine.
"I know," Cooper answered, pausing long enough to work his hand under the waistband of Josh's boxers. When his fingers closed around hot velvet he smiled, pressing his lips to Josh's mouth, then his cheek and finally his ear. "It's okay, you just need to take the edge off."
Josh nodded shakily and squeezed his eyes shut tight, his forehead dropping to Cooper's shoulder as he thrust harder into the other boy's grip. And he was pretty sure he could stay like this forever, with Josh breathless and moving against him and looking so…alive. He didn't realize how much he'd worried about that while they were apart; worrying about anyone was pretty new to him and the fact that Josh could actually be in danger in his own hometown was hard for Cooper to imagine.
As soon as the thought occurred to him he swallowed hard and slid his free hand between them to slide his own zipper down, working his aching erection free and closing his hand around both of them before he began stroking again. Josh's eyes fluttered open as he leaned forward, capturing Cooper's mouth with his in the same instant that he closed his hand over Cooper's to increase the pressure of his strokes. The strength of his feelings for Josh still shocked him even after all the time they’d been together, but now that they were in the same room again Cooper couldn’t hold any of it back anymore. There were a dozen different things he’d been fantasizing about since Josh called to tell him that his trip was definitely on, but he knew he’d never be able to control himself long enough to do any of them.
Taking the edge off their desire seemed like the smartest thing to do, and he wasn’t disappointed when he found himself tensing against Josh and gasping his release against the other boy’s mouth a lot sooner than he’d planned. His grip tightened reflexively, pulling Josh over the edge and leaving him panting into Cooper’s sweat-dampened hair. He pulled back far enough to look at Josh, reaching up to run his thumb across the other boy’s kiss-swollen lips. Josh’s face was flushed and his eyes were still unfocused, his lips parting reflexively as Cooper traced them.
“Sorry,” Josh murmured, looking down as his cheeks flushed an even deeper shade of red.
“For what?” Cooper asked, although he had a feeling he already knew exactly why Josh was apologizing. It was hard to believe after everything they’d done together that Josh could still be insecure about their sex life, but they were apart more than they were together and it wasn’t like he’d really gotten a chance to get used to it. “There’s nothing to be sorry for, Josh. Everything’s good, now that you’re finally here. Okay?”
Josh nodded, a tentative smile turning up the corners of his mouth. “To tell you the truth I still can’t believe I actually got on the plane.”
He’d been able to tell even over the phone that Josh was nervous about the trip, and even though they hadn’t talked about it he had a feeling he knew why. Josh had been nervous in Paris too, though, and after he got used to the idea of people seeing them together he relaxed. It would just take him a couple days to adjust to being in Buffalo, and before long he’d forget all about how hard his life was back in Indiana.
Cooper leaned forward and pressed his lips to Josh’s again, teasing the other boys’ mouth open as he tried to convey in a kiss what he couldn’t put into words. He’d never been that good at saying how he felt, and if it was possible Josh was even worse than him. So between the two of them he wasn’t sure they’d ever say out loud what was on both their minds, but most of the time he was positive they were thinking the same thing. Every once in awhile he wondered if maybe he was reading Josh wrong, if he was rushing into a commitment neither of them would be able to keep. He worried about it more when he remembered how inexperienced Josh was, but most of the time he was sure they could make it work. Sure, the odds were against them, but it wasn’t impossible.
It wasn’t much of a motto to live by, but it was all they had to work with and he wasn’t willing to give up on Josh until he didn’t have any other choice. Feeling that way about someone scared the hell out of him, and the fact that it was someone as unlikely as Josh made him even more nervous. Josh loved him, though, and no matter how insecure he got he’d never doubted that. It was a strange feeling to know without question that Josh loved him, but he could get used to it. At least he thought he’d get used to it someday.
He was so lost in the feeling of Josh’s mouth moving against his that it took him a few seconds to register the sound of the other boy’s stomach growling. When he heard the low rumble again he laughed and pulled away, smiling at the fresh blush creeping into Josh’s cheeks.
“Hungry?” He smirked when Josh rolled his eyes at him, pushing himself off the mattress and readjusting his jeans. When he looked back down at Josh the other boy was sitting up, his bottom lip caught between his teeth. Cooper’s heart skipped a beat at the look on the other boy’s face, but he reminded himself that Josh was going to look nervous for a little while. He just had to wait it out until Josh got comfortable, then everything would be fine. “What?”
“Nothing, I just…I could use to clean up a little before we go anywhere.” Josh glanced down at his stomach and then back up at Cooper, his lips turning up in a nervous grin. “Mind if I use your bathroom?”
Cooper swallowed a groan at the thought of forgetting about food for awhile and dragging Josh into the shower, filing the thought away for later. “It’s right through that door,” he answered, gesturing over his shoulder toward the half-open door that led to his bathroom. “I think the maid stuck some clean towels in the closet if you wanna take a shower.”
“Thanks,” Josh murmured as Cooper pulled him off the mattress, leaning forward for another quick kiss before he released Josh and pushed him gently in the direction of the bathroom. He took a deep breath as he watched Josh walk away, summoning up whatever will power he could find just to keep himself from following. Now that Josh was actually in his house it was hard to let him out of Cooper’s sight even for a few minutes, but he knew he couldn’t follow him around every second of the day. He waited until Josh shut the door before he let out a sigh and forced himself to head downstairs to find something to eat.