Fic: Stupid Cupid 41/42 (Xena, Cupid/Strife, NC17)
Title: Stupid Cupid
Fandom: Xena
Pairing: Cupid/Strife
Rating: NC17
Summary: An AU that sprang from a challenge posted on the AJCS list, in which Strife is the lead singer in a punk band and a teenage Cupid falls in love.
It was obvious from the silence hanging over the table that Strife had interrupted something, but he was going to have to wait to find out what it was. For some reason Cupid and Iolaus weren't talking, at least not to him, and even though he had a feeling he knew what they'd been talking about that didn't really make him feel any better. There was no reason they had to shut up just because he'd come back from the bar; he was involved in this whole mess too - whether he liked it or not - and whatever they had to say about Auto they could say in front of him.
He was trying not to be jealous, but it was hard to keep his emotions in check where Cupid was concerned. Not that he thought Cupid had anything to hide from him, but he obviously didn't want to talk about whatever he'd been talking about in front of Strife. And then there was Iolaus - they'd known each other since they were kids, and suddenly Iolaus was confiding in Cupid instead of him? None of it made any sense, and he was starting to feel like the third wheel with his own boyfriend.
To make matters worse he had the feeling Iolaus didn't even want to be sitting there, and he couldn't help wondering why the other boy had shown up at the club at all. It was obvious he wasn't looking forward to the show, so there was no reason for him to hang around unless he was hoping for a chance to hang all over Hercules. Unconsciously Strife's gaze shifted in the direction of the door, but he couldn't see his former roommate through the crowd. Herc had barely acknowledged them when they'd stopped at the door, and Strife could tell that his friend wasn't in any hurry to put the past behind them and make up.
What he didn't get was why Iolaus wanted to hang out with a guy like that, especially after the way Hercules had treated him and Cupid. He'd always ignored it in the past because he knew things back home were different, but now that they were in New York Strife didn't have to worry about his family or his friends hassling him about who he dated. At least that was what he'd assumed, but Hercules had turned out to be a lot less tolerant than he'd thought. That was the only reason Strife could come up with for the way things were between them now that he and Cupid were a couple, and he couldn't help worrying about what was going to happen when Iolaus finally came out to his best friend.
The whole situation made him feel even more guilty about leaving Iolaus with nowhere to live. The worst part was that he hadn't even bothered to ask the other boy yet what he was planning to do, and now it was going to sound like pity when he offered their couch as a place to crash. Still, he had to ask, and if they weren't going to tell him what they'd been talking about before he came back then at least he could change the subject.
"So what're ya plannin' ta do at the end a the month?" Strife asked, leaning toward Iolaus and raising his voice over the noise of the crowd. "Ya found a place ta crash yet?"
Iolaus looked up at the sound of Strife's voice, frowning as though he was just remembering that he wasn't alone at the table. "I don't know yet," he answered, not quite meeting Strife's gaze. "I thought about going home."
"What, back ta Detroit? Are ya nuts? It took us long enough ta get outta there, why the fuck would ya go back?"
"At least I know I'd have a job waiting for me." Iolaus shrugged and looked up at the stage, watching the band set up. Strife followed his gaze for a moment, frowning at the thought of his friend going home just because Hercules had moved in with some girl.
"Yeah, some job. Pumpin' gas at yer old man's place. What about the band?"
"What about it?" Iolaus looked over at him again, his expression unreadable in the low light of the bar. "That was Herc's thing and you know it. In a couple months Xena's gonna be back in school, and then we'll play a gig every couple weeks if we're lucky. That's not gonna pay the rent, and not everybody's got a boyfriend whose daddy just hands over the keys to an apartment."
Strife hadn't expected that reaction; all he'd really been trying to do was remind Iolaus of why they'd left Detroit in the first place, but he couldn't really blame his friend for being mad. "We're payin' rent on the loft," he answered, dropping his voice so Cupid wouldn't hear him. "Ya think I'd just shack up with somebody an' let 'em pay my way? Ya know me better than that."
A heavy sigh escaped Iolaus' throat, and Strife saw a flicker of guilt in the other boy's eyes before Iolaus looked away again. "Yeah, I know. I didn't mean it, Strife. But I still need a job and I need to find a place to stay. I doubt I can even afford the rent on our place by myself. This isn't exactly what I thought it would be like when we decided to move out here, you know?"
"Yeah, I know," Strife said, forcing what he hoped was a cheerful grin and raising his voice again. "Listen, until ya work it out yer crashin' with us, okay? The couch is comfortable an' there's plenty a room."
"Thanks, Strife, but I couldn't do that. You guys just moved in together, I'd just be in the way."
"No ya wouldn't," Strife insisted, reaching across the table and nudging Cupid's arm to get his attention. "Yer cool with Iolaus crashin' at our place, aren't ya, Cupe?"
"Yeah, of course," Cupid answered, and Strife found himself relaxing a little as he watched a genuine smile light up Cupid's features. Whatever he'd been arguing with Iolaus about earlier couldn't have been that serious, not if Cupid was still willing to let the other boy sleep on their couch. "As long as you want."
"Thanks, guys," Iolaus said, "but I'll work it out."
Strife nodded and picked up his beer, catching Cupid's gaze out of the corner of his eye and shrugging. He felt a hand land on his knee and squeeze briefly before letting go again, and he found himself wishing that they'd just stayed home tonight after all. In a way he was glad he'd had a chance to talk to Iolaus, but he wasn't sure how much good it had done. If his friend was determined to go home and ignore everything that had happened to him in the past few months Strife couldn't stop him, but he hoped that Iolaus would come to his senses before that happened.
"Have ya talked ta Herc lately?" Strife asked, hoping he sounded more casual than he felt as he stole a quick glance at Iolaus.
"About what?"
Strife shrugged as nonchalantly as possible, stealing a quick glance at Cupid before he looked at Iolaus again. "About anythin'. He know yer thinkin' 'bout goin' home?"
"No," Iolaus answered, his eyes narrowing a little as he glanced at Cupid and then back at Strife. "Look, guys, I know what you're getting at. No, I haven't told him anything, but it doesn't have anything to do with whether or not I go back to Detroit. Herc's got a lot on his mind lately, he just moved in with Gabbie and the baby thing's freaking him out more than I thought it would. He's got enough to deal with without me laying my problems on him. I'll work it out, don't worry about it."
"Yeah, but goin' home?"
"Strife's right," Cupid added, making it obvious he'd been listening to their conversation since Strife got back to the table. "You can't go home just because Hercules moved in with Gabbie. You can get a job here just as easily as you can in Detroit, and there are always people looking for roommates. Psyche's moving to the city soon, if you want I can talk to her, maybe…"
"No thanks," Iolaus interrupted, and Strife was almost sure he saw the other boy's cheeks flush just before he looked away. "Psyche's cool and all, but the last thing she needs is me hanging around."
"She wouldn't care," Cupid began, but he closed his mouth as soon as he felt Strife's hand close around his under the table. Strife glanced sharply at the younger boy, relaxing a little when he saw that Cupid understood what he wasn't saying. It was one thing for Iolaus to crash with them until he found a place, but staying with Psyche meant running into Auto a lot more often than he probably wanted to. At least Strife assumed that Iolaus didn't want to see Auto; he hadn't really gotten a chance to talk to his friend about it, and he had a feeling now wasn't the right time to try.
"It'll work out," Strife said, squeezing Cupid's hand one last time before he let go again. "Long as ya don't throw in the towel before ya even see what's out there, ya know?"
He grinned when Iolaus looked up at him and nodded warily, hoping the flicker of surprise in the other boy's eyes meant that Iolaus understood what he was saying. He had a feeling that part of the reason his friend was thinking about going back to Detroit was so he wouldn't have to deal with what had happened between him and Auto, but Strife couldn't let him go back to pretending he was something he wasn't. At least he had to try to help Iolaus figure it out for himself, otherwise he couldn't really call himself much of a friend at all.
~
Iolaus woke to the sound of a shrill ringing, groaning and sticking one arm out from under his sheet to feel around on the floor for the phone. Finally he found it sticking out from under the jeans he'd discarded the night before, clearing his throat before he pressed the 'talk' button and lifted the receiver to his ear. "Hello?"
"Did I wake you?"
"Don't worry about it," he muttered, although Xena didn't sound exactly apologetic. In fact, if he wasn't mistaken she was laughing, which meant that he really must sound pathetic. "What time is it?"
"Around 11:00. My mom said you were looking for me last night. What's up?"
It took him a minute to remember why he'd called Xena, but as soon as he did he groaned and pulled the sheet back over his head. He hadn't stopped to think about it long enough to be embarrassed the night before, but if he had he never would have gone looking for her. It was bad enough that he'd been desperate enough to actually leave a message with her mom, but he couldn't talk about it in the light of day. "Nothing, just a moment of weakness. Forget it."
"Aw, I'm flattered," she said, her voice taking on a teasing quality that made heat creep into his cheeks, "but you know you're not really my type."
"Funny. That's not what I meant," he muttered. "Seriously, just forget it."
"Oh, come on, I was just kidding." She paused and for a moment he couldn't hear anything except for the sound of his own breathing, but just as he'd decided that they'd somehow gotten cut off her voice sounded in his ear again. "Iolaus? Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." He rolled his eyes at the half-truth and pushed the sheet back again, forcing himself to sit up and running a hand absently over his bare chest. "I will be, anyway."
He could tell by the moment of silence on the other end of the line that she didn't believe him, but he wasn't going to overplay his hand by trying to convince her. Let her believe what she wanted; Cupid and Strife already did, and there was no way he was going to convince any of them that he was fine until he started acting like he was.
"Does this have anything to do with Auto?"
"No," he answered, ignoring the defensive tone that crept into his voice. "Why does everybody keep asking me that?"
"Because you've been acting weird ever since Psyche's party," Xena answered matter-of-factly. "You should call him. He likes you."
An unflattering snort escaped Iolaus' throat, but he ignored the sound and told himself he didn't believe it. And even if he did it didn't matter, because he wasn't interested in getting involved with some kid fresh out of high school. Maybe the rest of his friends had lost their minds, but he wasn't going to do something stupid just because they all were. "Whatever. Look, just forget I called last night, okay? It was nothing."
"Iolaus, come on."
He couldn't help grinning as he pictured her arching one eyebrow at him, hands crossed over her chest in her most menacing 'tell me or else' posture. "Alright, alright. If you really wanna know, I had a question. But I ran into Strife later so don't worry about it."
"What kind of question?"
"I just told you not to worry about it."
"I'm not worried, just curious. So tell me the question and Strife's answer so I can tell you why he's wrong."
Iolaus rolled his eyes at that, but he knew he wasn't going to get out of this with the half-truths he'd been feeding her since he answered the phone. He'd never asked Strife any of the questions that had been weighing on him the night before, and he wasn't sure he'd be able to ask Xena now. It helped that he couldn't actually see her, though, and he closed his eyes and fell back against the pillows again as he tried to think of the best way to phrase what he wanted to ask.
"Okay. The thing is this. I don't really know…well, anything about - you know. And after the party I think I might want to know, but I'm not sure how you find out about that stuff. I mean is there some book I should be reading or what?" He felt the blood begin to pool in his cheeks before he even started talking, and by the time he was done with his rambling, nonsensical question even the tips of his ears were burning. Still, he felt strangely better for having gotten the words out, even if Xena didn't understand a bit of it.
"So let me get this straight. Are you asking me where you go to learn how to be gay?"
A heavy sigh escaped his throat as he discovered that he could blush even harder after all. "Sort of. I mean…I guess so. Maybe?"
Soft laughter on the other end of the line made him even more aware of the heat creeping through his entire body, but there was a hint of understanding in Xena's voice and part of him knew that if she was sitting next to him he would have kissed her for not laughing him right out of the room. "There's no rule book or anything," she finally answered, and he did his best to ignore the pity he could hear creeping into her tone. "I mean there are places you can go to meet people, if that's what you mean."
"What, like gay bars?"
"Well, yeah. I mean that's the most obvious place, right?"
He knew she was right, but that didn't mean he wanted to admit it. The last thing he ever expected to find himself doing was contemplating going to a gay bar, especially when he still hadn't told anyone that he was even considering the possibility that he might be bi. So far everyone that knew had found out in spite of his best efforts to keep the truth to himself, and he still wasn't sure how he felt about that.
"Look, Iolaus," Xena said when he didn't answer, "if you want we can go out this weekend. I know a few places, I don't hang out at them much but I know some people. I can introduce you around."
"I don't know. I mean I'm not even sure if I'm gonna be staying in town," he said, his heart sinking at the thought of actually going all the way back to Detroit. It was the last thing he wanted to do, but if he didn't figure something out quick that was exactly where he was headed.
"What are you talking about?"
"I've gotta be out of the apartment at the end of the month," he answered. "Cupid and Strife offered to put me up, but I really don't wanna camp out on their couch. I mean it's one thing for Cupid to stay here with Strife, but it's their place now and I'd just be in the way."
"Why didn't you tell me this last week?" Xena asked. "Is that why you've been so freaked out every time I see you lately? Jesus, Iolaus, I live right next store to a boarding house. In fact I'm pretty sure they've got a room open right now. I can find out if you want - it's not the Ritz or anything, but it's cheaper than a whole apartment and the lady that runs the place is pretty cool."
"Seriously?"
"Sure." He could hear the amusement creeping back into her voice, but he resisted the urge to snap at her. She was the first person that had offered him actual help, after all, and if he pissed her off he'd regret it later. "Tell you what, come over and I'll introduce you to her. While you're here I'll talk you into going out with me and Psyche this weekend."
For a second Iolaus was too stunned to answer. He'd dismissed the idea of even talking to Psyche about sharing a place because he knew it would mean dealing with a bunch of stuff he wasn't sure he was ready for, but renting a place right next to Xena and her mom was a different story. It meant seeing a lot more of Xena, but of all his friends she was the one he was the least worried about facing right now. Plus it meant he didn't have to go home and face his family, and there wasn't much he wouldn't do to avoid that. He'd even sleep on Strife and Cupid's couch before he went back home and admitted to his father that he couldn't hack New York, so this seemed like the perfect solution to his problem.
"Let me just take a shower and I'll be over," he finally answered.
"Sure thing, Iolaus. I'll be here."
He could hear the smile in her voice and he couldn't help smiling back, actually feeling the sentiment behind the expression for the first time in days. "Thanks, Xena. See you soon."
Fandom: Xena
Pairing: Cupid/Strife
Rating: NC17
Summary: An AU that sprang from a challenge posted on the AJCS list, in which Strife is the lead singer in a punk band and a teenage Cupid falls in love.
It was obvious from the silence hanging over the table that Strife had interrupted something, but he was going to have to wait to find out what it was. For some reason Cupid and Iolaus weren't talking, at least not to him, and even though he had a feeling he knew what they'd been talking about that didn't really make him feel any better. There was no reason they had to shut up just because he'd come back from the bar; he was involved in this whole mess too - whether he liked it or not - and whatever they had to say about Auto they could say in front of him.
He was trying not to be jealous, but it was hard to keep his emotions in check where Cupid was concerned. Not that he thought Cupid had anything to hide from him, but he obviously didn't want to talk about whatever he'd been talking about in front of Strife. And then there was Iolaus - they'd known each other since they were kids, and suddenly Iolaus was confiding in Cupid instead of him? None of it made any sense, and he was starting to feel like the third wheel with his own boyfriend.
To make matters worse he had the feeling Iolaus didn't even want to be sitting there, and he couldn't help wondering why the other boy had shown up at the club at all. It was obvious he wasn't looking forward to the show, so there was no reason for him to hang around unless he was hoping for a chance to hang all over Hercules. Unconsciously Strife's gaze shifted in the direction of the door, but he couldn't see his former roommate through the crowd. Herc had barely acknowledged them when they'd stopped at the door, and Strife could tell that his friend wasn't in any hurry to put the past behind them and make up.
What he didn't get was why Iolaus wanted to hang out with a guy like that, especially after the way Hercules had treated him and Cupid. He'd always ignored it in the past because he knew things back home were different, but now that they were in New York Strife didn't have to worry about his family or his friends hassling him about who he dated. At least that was what he'd assumed, but Hercules had turned out to be a lot less tolerant than he'd thought. That was the only reason Strife could come up with for the way things were between them now that he and Cupid were a couple, and he couldn't help worrying about what was going to happen when Iolaus finally came out to his best friend.
The whole situation made him feel even more guilty about leaving Iolaus with nowhere to live. The worst part was that he hadn't even bothered to ask the other boy yet what he was planning to do, and now it was going to sound like pity when he offered their couch as a place to crash. Still, he had to ask, and if they weren't going to tell him what they'd been talking about before he came back then at least he could change the subject.
"So what're ya plannin' ta do at the end a the month?" Strife asked, leaning toward Iolaus and raising his voice over the noise of the crowd. "Ya found a place ta crash yet?"
Iolaus looked up at the sound of Strife's voice, frowning as though he was just remembering that he wasn't alone at the table. "I don't know yet," he answered, not quite meeting Strife's gaze. "I thought about going home."
"What, back ta Detroit? Are ya nuts? It took us long enough ta get outta there, why the fuck would ya go back?"
"At least I know I'd have a job waiting for me." Iolaus shrugged and looked up at the stage, watching the band set up. Strife followed his gaze for a moment, frowning at the thought of his friend going home just because Hercules had moved in with some girl.
"Yeah, some job. Pumpin' gas at yer old man's place. What about the band?"
"What about it?" Iolaus looked over at him again, his expression unreadable in the low light of the bar. "That was Herc's thing and you know it. In a couple months Xena's gonna be back in school, and then we'll play a gig every couple weeks if we're lucky. That's not gonna pay the rent, and not everybody's got a boyfriend whose daddy just hands over the keys to an apartment."
Strife hadn't expected that reaction; all he'd really been trying to do was remind Iolaus of why they'd left Detroit in the first place, but he couldn't really blame his friend for being mad. "We're payin' rent on the loft," he answered, dropping his voice so Cupid wouldn't hear him. "Ya think I'd just shack up with somebody an' let 'em pay my way? Ya know me better than that."
A heavy sigh escaped Iolaus' throat, and Strife saw a flicker of guilt in the other boy's eyes before Iolaus looked away again. "Yeah, I know. I didn't mean it, Strife. But I still need a job and I need to find a place to stay. I doubt I can even afford the rent on our place by myself. This isn't exactly what I thought it would be like when we decided to move out here, you know?"
"Yeah, I know," Strife said, forcing what he hoped was a cheerful grin and raising his voice again. "Listen, until ya work it out yer crashin' with us, okay? The couch is comfortable an' there's plenty a room."
"Thanks, Strife, but I couldn't do that. You guys just moved in together, I'd just be in the way."
"No ya wouldn't," Strife insisted, reaching across the table and nudging Cupid's arm to get his attention. "Yer cool with Iolaus crashin' at our place, aren't ya, Cupe?"
"Yeah, of course," Cupid answered, and Strife found himself relaxing a little as he watched a genuine smile light up Cupid's features. Whatever he'd been arguing with Iolaus about earlier couldn't have been that serious, not if Cupid was still willing to let the other boy sleep on their couch. "As long as you want."
"Thanks, guys," Iolaus said, "but I'll work it out."
Strife nodded and picked up his beer, catching Cupid's gaze out of the corner of his eye and shrugging. He felt a hand land on his knee and squeeze briefly before letting go again, and he found himself wishing that they'd just stayed home tonight after all. In a way he was glad he'd had a chance to talk to Iolaus, but he wasn't sure how much good it had done. If his friend was determined to go home and ignore everything that had happened to him in the past few months Strife couldn't stop him, but he hoped that Iolaus would come to his senses before that happened.
"Have ya talked ta Herc lately?" Strife asked, hoping he sounded more casual than he felt as he stole a quick glance at Iolaus.
"About what?"
Strife shrugged as nonchalantly as possible, stealing a quick glance at Cupid before he looked at Iolaus again. "About anythin'. He know yer thinkin' 'bout goin' home?"
"No," Iolaus answered, his eyes narrowing a little as he glanced at Cupid and then back at Strife. "Look, guys, I know what you're getting at. No, I haven't told him anything, but it doesn't have anything to do with whether or not I go back to Detroit. Herc's got a lot on his mind lately, he just moved in with Gabbie and the baby thing's freaking him out more than I thought it would. He's got enough to deal with without me laying my problems on him. I'll work it out, don't worry about it."
"Yeah, but goin' home?"
"Strife's right," Cupid added, making it obvious he'd been listening to their conversation since Strife got back to the table. "You can't go home just because Hercules moved in with Gabbie. You can get a job here just as easily as you can in Detroit, and there are always people looking for roommates. Psyche's moving to the city soon, if you want I can talk to her, maybe…"
"No thanks," Iolaus interrupted, and Strife was almost sure he saw the other boy's cheeks flush just before he looked away. "Psyche's cool and all, but the last thing she needs is me hanging around."
"She wouldn't care," Cupid began, but he closed his mouth as soon as he felt Strife's hand close around his under the table. Strife glanced sharply at the younger boy, relaxing a little when he saw that Cupid understood what he wasn't saying. It was one thing for Iolaus to crash with them until he found a place, but staying with Psyche meant running into Auto a lot more often than he probably wanted to. At least Strife assumed that Iolaus didn't want to see Auto; he hadn't really gotten a chance to talk to his friend about it, and he had a feeling now wasn't the right time to try.
"It'll work out," Strife said, squeezing Cupid's hand one last time before he let go again. "Long as ya don't throw in the towel before ya even see what's out there, ya know?"
He grinned when Iolaus looked up at him and nodded warily, hoping the flicker of surprise in the other boy's eyes meant that Iolaus understood what he was saying. He had a feeling that part of the reason his friend was thinking about going back to Detroit was so he wouldn't have to deal with what had happened between him and Auto, but Strife couldn't let him go back to pretending he was something he wasn't. At least he had to try to help Iolaus figure it out for himself, otherwise he couldn't really call himself much of a friend at all.
~
Iolaus woke to the sound of a shrill ringing, groaning and sticking one arm out from under his sheet to feel around on the floor for the phone. Finally he found it sticking out from under the jeans he'd discarded the night before, clearing his throat before he pressed the 'talk' button and lifted the receiver to his ear. "Hello?"
"Did I wake you?"
"Don't worry about it," he muttered, although Xena didn't sound exactly apologetic. In fact, if he wasn't mistaken she was laughing, which meant that he really must sound pathetic. "What time is it?"
"Around 11:00. My mom said you were looking for me last night. What's up?"
It took him a minute to remember why he'd called Xena, but as soon as he did he groaned and pulled the sheet back over his head. He hadn't stopped to think about it long enough to be embarrassed the night before, but if he had he never would have gone looking for her. It was bad enough that he'd been desperate enough to actually leave a message with her mom, but he couldn't talk about it in the light of day. "Nothing, just a moment of weakness. Forget it."
"Aw, I'm flattered," she said, her voice taking on a teasing quality that made heat creep into his cheeks, "but you know you're not really my type."
"Funny. That's not what I meant," he muttered. "Seriously, just forget it."
"Oh, come on, I was just kidding." She paused and for a moment he couldn't hear anything except for the sound of his own breathing, but just as he'd decided that they'd somehow gotten cut off her voice sounded in his ear again. "Iolaus? Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." He rolled his eyes at the half-truth and pushed the sheet back again, forcing himself to sit up and running a hand absently over his bare chest. "I will be, anyway."
He could tell by the moment of silence on the other end of the line that she didn't believe him, but he wasn't going to overplay his hand by trying to convince her. Let her believe what she wanted; Cupid and Strife already did, and there was no way he was going to convince any of them that he was fine until he started acting like he was.
"Does this have anything to do with Auto?"
"No," he answered, ignoring the defensive tone that crept into his voice. "Why does everybody keep asking me that?"
"Because you've been acting weird ever since Psyche's party," Xena answered matter-of-factly. "You should call him. He likes you."
An unflattering snort escaped Iolaus' throat, but he ignored the sound and told himself he didn't believe it. And even if he did it didn't matter, because he wasn't interested in getting involved with some kid fresh out of high school. Maybe the rest of his friends had lost their minds, but he wasn't going to do something stupid just because they all were. "Whatever. Look, just forget I called last night, okay? It was nothing."
"Iolaus, come on."
He couldn't help grinning as he pictured her arching one eyebrow at him, hands crossed over her chest in her most menacing 'tell me or else' posture. "Alright, alright. If you really wanna know, I had a question. But I ran into Strife later so don't worry about it."
"What kind of question?"
"I just told you not to worry about it."
"I'm not worried, just curious. So tell me the question and Strife's answer so I can tell you why he's wrong."
Iolaus rolled his eyes at that, but he knew he wasn't going to get out of this with the half-truths he'd been feeding her since he answered the phone. He'd never asked Strife any of the questions that had been weighing on him the night before, and he wasn't sure he'd be able to ask Xena now. It helped that he couldn't actually see her, though, and he closed his eyes and fell back against the pillows again as he tried to think of the best way to phrase what he wanted to ask.
"Okay. The thing is this. I don't really know…well, anything about - you know. And after the party I think I might want to know, but I'm not sure how you find out about that stuff. I mean is there some book I should be reading or what?" He felt the blood begin to pool in his cheeks before he even started talking, and by the time he was done with his rambling, nonsensical question even the tips of his ears were burning. Still, he felt strangely better for having gotten the words out, even if Xena didn't understand a bit of it.
"So let me get this straight. Are you asking me where you go to learn how to be gay?"
A heavy sigh escaped his throat as he discovered that he could blush even harder after all. "Sort of. I mean…I guess so. Maybe?"
Soft laughter on the other end of the line made him even more aware of the heat creeping through his entire body, but there was a hint of understanding in Xena's voice and part of him knew that if she was sitting next to him he would have kissed her for not laughing him right out of the room. "There's no rule book or anything," she finally answered, and he did his best to ignore the pity he could hear creeping into her tone. "I mean there are places you can go to meet people, if that's what you mean."
"What, like gay bars?"
"Well, yeah. I mean that's the most obvious place, right?"
He knew she was right, but that didn't mean he wanted to admit it. The last thing he ever expected to find himself doing was contemplating going to a gay bar, especially when he still hadn't told anyone that he was even considering the possibility that he might be bi. So far everyone that knew had found out in spite of his best efforts to keep the truth to himself, and he still wasn't sure how he felt about that.
"Look, Iolaus," Xena said when he didn't answer, "if you want we can go out this weekend. I know a few places, I don't hang out at them much but I know some people. I can introduce you around."
"I don't know. I mean I'm not even sure if I'm gonna be staying in town," he said, his heart sinking at the thought of actually going all the way back to Detroit. It was the last thing he wanted to do, but if he didn't figure something out quick that was exactly where he was headed.
"What are you talking about?"
"I've gotta be out of the apartment at the end of the month," he answered. "Cupid and Strife offered to put me up, but I really don't wanna camp out on their couch. I mean it's one thing for Cupid to stay here with Strife, but it's their place now and I'd just be in the way."
"Why didn't you tell me this last week?" Xena asked. "Is that why you've been so freaked out every time I see you lately? Jesus, Iolaus, I live right next store to a boarding house. In fact I'm pretty sure they've got a room open right now. I can find out if you want - it's not the Ritz or anything, but it's cheaper than a whole apartment and the lady that runs the place is pretty cool."
"Seriously?"
"Sure." He could hear the amusement creeping back into her voice, but he resisted the urge to snap at her. She was the first person that had offered him actual help, after all, and if he pissed her off he'd regret it later. "Tell you what, come over and I'll introduce you to her. While you're here I'll talk you into going out with me and Psyche this weekend."
For a second Iolaus was too stunned to answer. He'd dismissed the idea of even talking to Psyche about sharing a place because he knew it would mean dealing with a bunch of stuff he wasn't sure he was ready for, but renting a place right next to Xena and her mom was a different story. It meant seeing a lot more of Xena, but of all his friends she was the one he was the least worried about facing right now. Plus it meant he didn't have to go home and face his family, and there wasn't much he wouldn't do to avoid that. He'd even sleep on Strife and Cupid's couch before he went back home and admitted to his father that he couldn't hack New York, so this seemed like the perfect solution to his problem.
"Let me just take a shower and I'll be over," he finally answered.
"Sure thing, Iolaus. I'll be here."
He could hear the smile in her voice and he couldn't help smiling back, actually feeling the sentiment behind the expression for the first time in days. "Thanks, Xena. See you soon."