Fic: Cognizant (JAG, Rabb/Webb, PG)
Title: Cognizant
Fandom: JAG
Pairing: Rabb/Webb
Rating: PG
Summary: Part 9 of the Train Series.
Harm’s chest rose and fell a little more heavily than usual as he ran strong hands over the crisp white fabric of his dress uniform, his body on automatic pilot as he handed his cover and hat to the young woman that answered the door. A State dinner was the last event he felt like attending, being surrounded by uniforms and politicians all night wasn’t going to get his mind off the one subject he’d been trying all week to avoid. It had been a week since Clay tossed him out of his condo and out of his life, and he still hadn’t found a way to work the man out of his system. The distraction was starting to affect him so much that he’d actually considered throwing himself into a relationship with some unsuspecting woman, using her the way he’d used all the rest of the women in his past.
The trouble was that now when he thought about dating Mac or someone like her just to keep up appearances he’d picture Clay’s face, see the look of disappointment he wasn’t quite able to hide when he told Harm things were over between them. Before he let himself get involved with Clay he’d been able to justify stringing the women in his life along, but now he couldn’t even lie to himself that he was doing it for a good reason. He knew what he was missing, and no woman was going to fill that void no matter how much he enjoyed her company.
He drifted through the crowd of partygoers without any real destination in mind, ignoring waiters with trays of food and champagne as he searched the sea of faces around him for anyone he knew. Most of the people in the room he knew at least by sight, but the idea of making small talk just depressed him even more. Maybe he should have asked Mac to go with him, at least that way he’d have an excuse to stand behind her and pretend to be interested while she kept up whatever conversations they were drawn into. The idea of spending a whole night with Mac was too dangerous, though, because he was never sure if she was going to read more into the time they spent together than what was really there.
Finally he spotted Sturgis standing to one side of the room, one hand holding a glass of champagne as he leaned toward Bobbi Latham and whispered something in her ear. He breathed a sigh of relief and made his way toward the couple, pasting on what he hoped was a charming grin as he stopped in front of them. “Mind if I play third wheel for a little while?”
“Harm,” Bobbi said, smiling warmly as she turned toward him. She glanced over his shoulder, her eyes searching the crowd for a moment before she turned back to him. “Don’t tell me you’re here alone.”
“What’s the matter, Harm, all the women in your little black book finally get together and compare notes?” Sturgis teased, his face lit up in a mischievous grin as he took Harm’s hand and shook it. “I thought you and Mac might put in an appearance.”
Harm’s smile faltered almost imperceptibly, but he caught himself before Sturgis or Bobbi had a chance to register his change of expression. “Unfortunately I drew the short straw on this one,” he said, turning away from his friends to scan the crowd. “My turn to represent JAG, I guess. Although since you two are seeing so much of each other these days maybe you can pull double duty, Sturgis.”
The other man laughed as he watched his friend searching the room, exchanging a curious glance with Bobbi as they both followed Harm’s wandering gaze. “Looking for someone in particular?”
Harm flushed at the sound of Bobbi’s voice and turned around, clearing his throat and squaring his shoulders as he met his friends’ amused expressions. “Just checking things out,” he answered, forcing himself not to look out at the crowd again. “The sooner I make the rounds the sooner I can get out of here. I’ve spent enough time in uniform this week, I could use a little down time.”
“Harm, relax, you just got here,” Bobbi said, linking her arm through his as she began looking around. “Just because it’s a State function doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy yourself. Besides, there’s someone here I want you to meet.”
“Oh no, you’re not fixing me up with one of your friends,” Harm said, casting a desperate glance at Sturgis over Bobbi’s head. “Trust me, it won’t work.”
Sturgis cleared his throat and reached for a fresh glass of champagne as a waiter passed by with a tray, handing it to Harm as he eased Bobbi away from his friend. “For once I agree with the man, Bobbi. Setting him up right now is a bad idea.”
“Why? He’s here alone, what can it hurt to meet someone new? I’m not asking him to marry her.”
Sturgis laughed as Harm choked on a mouthful of champagne, barely saving his dress uniform from being christened by his nearly full glass as he struggled to regain his composure. “Definitely a bad idea,” Sturgis repeated, taking the glass that Harm thrust toward him.
“Excuse me for a minute,” Harm managed to choke out between gasps for breath, “I better go clean this up.”
He ignored the sound of Sturgis’ laughter as best he could as he made his way through the crowd, rolling his eyes as he imagined what his long-time friend was telling Bobbi. Harm knew that Sturgis thought there was something going on between him and Mac, but he hadn’t bothered to set his friend straight because he knew it wouldn’t do any good. He couldn’t tell him the truth, after all, and anyway it was just as well if people thought he was involved. That way he wouldn’t have to explain why he wasn’t playing the field, after all there was only so long even a confirmed bachelor could avoid uncomfortable questions about his personal life.
He finally made it to the opposite side of the large room where the main part of the party was taking place, stepping into a dark hallway and taking a deep breath as he found himself suddenly alone. He stopped for a moment and glanced to his left and then to his right, trying to decide which direction was most likely to lead him to a bathroom. He was about to go right when he heard a masculine voice coming from the left, and a moment later a second voice that he recognized instantly. His heart skipped a beat and he began moving slowly forward before he could stop himself, his legs moving of their own accord as he trained his hearing to pick up what was being said.
“…what I agreed to,” he heard just as he rounded the corner and spotted the two men. Clay was standing ten feet away from him with his back to Harm, his arms crossed over his chest as he focused on the man in front of him. Harm didn’t recognize the man leaning into Clay, he was taller than the CIA agent with salt and pepper hair but that was all Harm could make out in the dim light of the hallway. Harm felt his pulse begin to race and he wondered vaguely if he should leave before they noticed him, but he couldn’t seem to make himself move. He knew what Clay would say when he caught Harm eavesdropping, but something about the way the stranger was leaning into Clay made blood pound in Harm’s ears. Logic and his sense of better judgement abandoned him as he watched the taller man smile and reach out to trail a hand over Clay’s forearm, his fingers catching Clay’s cuff and toying with his cufflink as he leaned even closer.
“The whole night doesn’t have to be business, you know,” the man said as Harm’s fingers curled into fists of their own accord. “Come on, Clay, we have fun together, don’t we?”
“Look, Marcus, it’s just bad timing,” Clay said, his voice low and steady in the silence of the hallway. Harm found himself inching backwards into the shadows of a nearby doorway, suddenly terrified that Clay would turn around and find him eavesdropping before he finished the rest of his thought. He knew it was ridiculous to think that he had anything to do with the reason Clay seemed to be turning the guy down, but Harm wanted to hear what he had to say. “I just ended something and I’m not looking to move on yet. It wouldn’t be fair to you.”
Harm swallowed hard against a sudden tightness in his chest as Marcus pulled his hand away from Clay’s arm, his smile turning wistful as he straightened up and took a step backwards. “Well, it was worth a shot. Let me know if your circumstances change.”
“Sure,” Clay answered as the other man turned and walked away, disappearing through a door at the far end of the hall. Harm pressed himself a little further into the shadows as Clay turned in his direction, holding his breath as he hoped the other man would go back to the party without noticing him.
As soon as Clay turned around he stopped in his tracks, however, and Harm’s shoulders slumped as he realized Clay probably knew he was there the whole time. “Rabb? Are you kidding me?”
Harm sighed and stepped out into the center of the deserted hallway, crossing his arms over his chest as he stopped in front of Clay and mirrored the smaller man’s irritated expression. “I wasn’t following you if that’s what you’re thinking,” Harm said. “I spilled some champagne on my uniform, I was just looking for a bathroom.”
Clay’s gaze wandered down the front of Harm’s uniform, lingering on the expanse of white fabric stretched across his chest before he forced his eyes back up again. “So you thought you’d stop and eavesdrop on my conversation before you went back to the party.”
“No, I…” Harm paused and let out a frustrated breath, his fingers digging into his arms as he willed himself not to lose his temper. He didn’t owe Clayton Webb and explanation, it wasn’t his fault the man was having a private conversation where anyone could stumble onto him. The thing was that he couldn’t quite shake the image of that man leaning into Clay, touching him and implying that there had been something between them at one time. His jaw clenched involuntarily and he shifted his weight, suddenly wishing he’d stayed home and let Sturgis handle this party on his own. “What are you even doing here? Is this a date or are you here on official business?”
“Even if that information wasn’t classified it’s none of your business,” Clay snapped, folding his own arms over his chest as he held Harm’s angry gaze. “What I do with my time isn’t your problem, Rabb.”
“You’ve made that abundantly clear,” Harm muttered, tearing his gaze away from Clay as he struggled to rein in his temper. He wasn’t going to lose it in front of Clay, not at a party full of nearly every politician in DC. He wasn’t going to give Clay the satisfaction of knowing how distracted he’d been all week, it shouldn’t matter to him whether Clay was on a date or not. For all he was supposed to care Clay could be sleeping with everyone on Capitol Hill, Harm had gotten what he wanted and now that it was over he was just going to have to deal with it.
“Nice to see something getting through that thick skull of yours,” Clay snapped as he brushed past Harm and disappeared around the corner. Harm turned on his heel and followed Clay until he reached the main room of the house and disappeared into the crowd, following him until Clay reached the door and handed his coat check ticket to the girl at the door. He took a deep breath and forced himself not to follow the other man, knowing that it wouldn’t do any good. Whatever they’d had was over, and no matter how much Harm wished it wasn't he knew it was for the best. He couldn’t give Clay what he wanted and Clay wasn’t willing to take what Harm had to offer. That was the problem with Clayton Webb, he was never willing to compromise. He was always so sure that his way was the right way that he couldn’t see anyone else’s point of view.
Harm sighed and turned back to the party, willing the image of Clay standing in the dark hallway out of his mind as he made his way back to Sturgis and Bobbi. When he reached them they both smiled cheerfully, and he did his best to look at least marginally cheerful as he picked up a fresh glass of champagne.
“Making the rounds?” Sturgis asked as he watched Harm swallow half the contents of his glass.
“Not exactly,” Harm answered, not quite meeting Sturgis’ gaze as he tried to think up an excuse to make a quick exit. There was no real reason for him to make small talk with the other partygoers, he’d put in an appearance and that was enough to make the Admiral happy. All he wanted to do now was slip quietly out of the house and go back to his loft where he could be alone. He knew he was going to be obsessing about the way Clay had dismissed him in the hallway, but there was no way he was going to be able to get his mind off the other man and he’d rather be alone with his thoughts than in a roomful of dignitaries.
He was about to give up on a decent excuse and just mumble a goodbye when the man he’d spotted Clay with passed them, stopping a few feet away to whisper something to the senator that was throwing the party. “Bobbi,” he said, keeping his voice low so no one would overhear him, “do you know who that man is? The one in the navy suit.”
“I think he works for Senator ,” Bobbi answered, following Harm’s gaze as the man in question turned and started moving through the crowd again. “One of his right-hand men if I’m not mistaken. Why?”
“No reason,” Harm answered, carefully avoiding the curious gazes he was sure his friends were directing at him. They were going to think he was acting strange regardless of what he told them, so it wouldn’t do him any good to look at them and prove to himself that he was right. Besides, he was acting strange, but he couldn’t explain it to them. He couldn’t even explain it to himself, he didn’t know why he’d asked Bobbi who that Marcus person was. He knew it shouldn’t matter who Clay moved on with, but for some reason every time he thought about it his stomach flipped.
Then there was the way his heart had sped up when Clay said that he wasn’t ready to move on from his last relationship. The way Clay had acted when he ended things Harm had just assumed that he couldn’t care less about the connection between them, but somehow listening to Clay talk to Marcus he got the feeling that it bothered Clay more than he’d let on. He didn’t want to keep thinking about it, trying to work out Webb’s motivations and convince himself that Clay actually cared about him. He didn’t want to be…was he jealous? Christ, he was jealous, the thought of Clay moving on with some smarmy politician made him want to put his fist through the nearest wall.
“I think I’ve had about all the networking I can take for one night,” he said, finally turning to look at his friends as he set his champagne glass down on the nearest table. “Enjoy your evening. Bobbi, it’s always a pleasure, Sturgis, I’ll see you on Monday.”
“You’re leaving? But you just got here,” Bobbi said, frowning as she realized Harm was going to get away before she had a chance to introduce him to any available women.
“You sure you’re okay, Harm?” Sturgis asked, frowning at his friend for a completely different reason.
Harm managed a weak smile as he began to back away from the couple. “Fine, just tired. It’s been a long week.” He waved and turned around, making a beeline for the front door before anyone got a chance to stop him. As soon as he retrieved his cover and hat he stepped out into the crisp night air, filling his lungs too fast and coughing as he fished his cell phone out of his uniform pocket.
When he stopped coughing he dialed a number he should have forgotten, holding his breath as he waited for the line to connect. The phone rang once, then again, and by the third ring he was about to give up and hang up before the voicemail service picked up. Just before he disconnected the line connected, though, and his heart skipped another beat as a familiar voice filled his ear.
“Webb.”
“We need to talk,” Harm said, wincing at the edge in his voice. He knew that sounding angry would just put Clay on the defensive again, but he couldn’t quite manage to rein in his nervousness enough to sound calm. “It’s important.”
He heard a sigh on the other end of the line and pictured Clay rolling his eyes, smiling in spite of himself at the image. “I don’t have time to go another round with you, Rabb. There’s nothing left to talk about.”
“Clay, please. Just meet me for a drink and hear me out.”
“Look, Rabb…” Clay paused and Harm heard him take a deep breath, his heart in his throat as he waited for the other man to hang up on him or tell him to stay out of his life.
“One drink, Clay. That’s all I’m asking.”
“This is pointless, we’ve been all over it,” Clay began, then he sighed again and Harm reminded himself to breathe. “Fine, one drink and then we never discuss this again.”
“Agreed.” Harm swallowed hard and closed his eyes as he wondered if he could keep that kind of promise. Even if Clay kept up his end of the bargain and heard Harm out he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to let it go, he’d been trying for a week and seeing Clay had just made things worse. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to work with the man and never bring up what they’d shared.
There was a long pause on the other end of the line, and Harm had begun to wonder if Clay had hung up already when the other man cleared his throat. “Tomorrow night, nine o’clock. There’s a bar outside of Manassas called The Ten Spot, do you know it?”
“I’ll find it,” Harm answered, opening his eyes again as he wondered if he’d be able to make it another 24 hours. “I’ll see you there.”
“Nine o’clock, Rabb. If you’re late I won’t wait.” The line clicked and then went dead, and Harm sighed as he slid his phone back into his pocket. He barely noticed the cold night air as he made his way down the sidewalk toward his car, praying with everything in him that Clay would just listen to what he needed to say.
Fandom: JAG
Pairing: Rabb/Webb
Rating: PG
Summary: Part 9 of the Train Series.
Harm’s chest rose and fell a little more heavily than usual as he ran strong hands over the crisp white fabric of his dress uniform, his body on automatic pilot as he handed his cover and hat to the young woman that answered the door. A State dinner was the last event he felt like attending, being surrounded by uniforms and politicians all night wasn’t going to get his mind off the one subject he’d been trying all week to avoid. It had been a week since Clay tossed him out of his condo and out of his life, and he still hadn’t found a way to work the man out of his system. The distraction was starting to affect him so much that he’d actually considered throwing himself into a relationship with some unsuspecting woman, using her the way he’d used all the rest of the women in his past.
The trouble was that now when he thought about dating Mac or someone like her just to keep up appearances he’d picture Clay’s face, see the look of disappointment he wasn’t quite able to hide when he told Harm things were over between them. Before he let himself get involved with Clay he’d been able to justify stringing the women in his life along, but now he couldn’t even lie to himself that he was doing it for a good reason. He knew what he was missing, and no woman was going to fill that void no matter how much he enjoyed her company.
He drifted through the crowd of partygoers without any real destination in mind, ignoring waiters with trays of food and champagne as he searched the sea of faces around him for anyone he knew. Most of the people in the room he knew at least by sight, but the idea of making small talk just depressed him even more. Maybe he should have asked Mac to go with him, at least that way he’d have an excuse to stand behind her and pretend to be interested while she kept up whatever conversations they were drawn into. The idea of spending a whole night with Mac was too dangerous, though, because he was never sure if she was going to read more into the time they spent together than what was really there.
Finally he spotted Sturgis standing to one side of the room, one hand holding a glass of champagne as he leaned toward Bobbi Latham and whispered something in her ear. He breathed a sigh of relief and made his way toward the couple, pasting on what he hoped was a charming grin as he stopped in front of them. “Mind if I play third wheel for a little while?”
“Harm,” Bobbi said, smiling warmly as she turned toward him. She glanced over his shoulder, her eyes searching the crowd for a moment before she turned back to him. “Don’t tell me you’re here alone.”
“What’s the matter, Harm, all the women in your little black book finally get together and compare notes?” Sturgis teased, his face lit up in a mischievous grin as he took Harm’s hand and shook it. “I thought you and Mac might put in an appearance.”
Harm’s smile faltered almost imperceptibly, but he caught himself before Sturgis or Bobbi had a chance to register his change of expression. “Unfortunately I drew the short straw on this one,” he said, turning away from his friends to scan the crowd. “My turn to represent JAG, I guess. Although since you two are seeing so much of each other these days maybe you can pull double duty, Sturgis.”
The other man laughed as he watched his friend searching the room, exchanging a curious glance with Bobbi as they both followed Harm’s wandering gaze. “Looking for someone in particular?”
Harm flushed at the sound of Bobbi’s voice and turned around, clearing his throat and squaring his shoulders as he met his friends’ amused expressions. “Just checking things out,” he answered, forcing himself not to look out at the crowd again. “The sooner I make the rounds the sooner I can get out of here. I’ve spent enough time in uniform this week, I could use a little down time.”
“Harm, relax, you just got here,” Bobbi said, linking her arm through his as she began looking around. “Just because it’s a State function doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy yourself. Besides, there’s someone here I want you to meet.”
“Oh no, you’re not fixing me up with one of your friends,” Harm said, casting a desperate glance at Sturgis over Bobbi’s head. “Trust me, it won’t work.”
Sturgis cleared his throat and reached for a fresh glass of champagne as a waiter passed by with a tray, handing it to Harm as he eased Bobbi away from his friend. “For once I agree with the man, Bobbi. Setting him up right now is a bad idea.”
“Why? He’s here alone, what can it hurt to meet someone new? I’m not asking him to marry her.”
Sturgis laughed as Harm choked on a mouthful of champagne, barely saving his dress uniform from being christened by his nearly full glass as he struggled to regain his composure. “Definitely a bad idea,” Sturgis repeated, taking the glass that Harm thrust toward him.
“Excuse me for a minute,” Harm managed to choke out between gasps for breath, “I better go clean this up.”
He ignored the sound of Sturgis’ laughter as best he could as he made his way through the crowd, rolling his eyes as he imagined what his long-time friend was telling Bobbi. Harm knew that Sturgis thought there was something going on between him and Mac, but he hadn’t bothered to set his friend straight because he knew it wouldn’t do any good. He couldn’t tell him the truth, after all, and anyway it was just as well if people thought he was involved. That way he wouldn’t have to explain why he wasn’t playing the field, after all there was only so long even a confirmed bachelor could avoid uncomfortable questions about his personal life.
He finally made it to the opposite side of the large room where the main part of the party was taking place, stepping into a dark hallway and taking a deep breath as he found himself suddenly alone. He stopped for a moment and glanced to his left and then to his right, trying to decide which direction was most likely to lead him to a bathroom. He was about to go right when he heard a masculine voice coming from the left, and a moment later a second voice that he recognized instantly. His heart skipped a beat and he began moving slowly forward before he could stop himself, his legs moving of their own accord as he trained his hearing to pick up what was being said.
“…what I agreed to,” he heard just as he rounded the corner and spotted the two men. Clay was standing ten feet away from him with his back to Harm, his arms crossed over his chest as he focused on the man in front of him. Harm didn’t recognize the man leaning into Clay, he was taller than the CIA agent with salt and pepper hair but that was all Harm could make out in the dim light of the hallway. Harm felt his pulse begin to race and he wondered vaguely if he should leave before they noticed him, but he couldn’t seem to make himself move. He knew what Clay would say when he caught Harm eavesdropping, but something about the way the stranger was leaning into Clay made blood pound in Harm’s ears. Logic and his sense of better judgement abandoned him as he watched the taller man smile and reach out to trail a hand over Clay’s forearm, his fingers catching Clay’s cuff and toying with his cufflink as he leaned even closer.
“The whole night doesn’t have to be business, you know,” the man said as Harm’s fingers curled into fists of their own accord. “Come on, Clay, we have fun together, don’t we?”
“Look, Marcus, it’s just bad timing,” Clay said, his voice low and steady in the silence of the hallway. Harm found himself inching backwards into the shadows of a nearby doorway, suddenly terrified that Clay would turn around and find him eavesdropping before he finished the rest of his thought. He knew it was ridiculous to think that he had anything to do with the reason Clay seemed to be turning the guy down, but Harm wanted to hear what he had to say. “I just ended something and I’m not looking to move on yet. It wouldn’t be fair to you.”
Harm swallowed hard against a sudden tightness in his chest as Marcus pulled his hand away from Clay’s arm, his smile turning wistful as he straightened up and took a step backwards. “Well, it was worth a shot. Let me know if your circumstances change.”
“Sure,” Clay answered as the other man turned and walked away, disappearing through a door at the far end of the hall. Harm pressed himself a little further into the shadows as Clay turned in his direction, holding his breath as he hoped the other man would go back to the party without noticing him.
As soon as Clay turned around he stopped in his tracks, however, and Harm’s shoulders slumped as he realized Clay probably knew he was there the whole time. “Rabb? Are you kidding me?”
Harm sighed and stepped out into the center of the deserted hallway, crossing his arms over his chest as he stopped in front of Clay and mirrored the smaller man’s irritated expression. “I wasn’t following you if that’s what you’re thinking,” Harm said. “I spilled some champagne on my uniform, I was just looking for a bathroom.”
Clay’s gaze wandered down the front of Harm’s uniform, lingering on the expanse of white fabric stretched across his chest before he forced his eyes back up again. “So you thought you’d stop and eavesdrop on my conversation before you went back to the party.”
“No, I…” Harm paused and let out a frustrated breath, his fingers digging into his arms as he willed himself not to lose his temper. He didn’t owe Clayton Webb and explanation, it wasn’t his fault the man was having a private conversation where anyone could stumble onto him. The thing was that he couldn’t quite shake the image of that man leaning into Clay, touching him and implying that there had been something between them at one time. His jaw clenched involuntarily and he shifted his weight, suddenly wishing he’d stayed home and let Sturgis handle this party on his own. “What are you even doing here? Is this a date or are you here on official business?”
“Even if that information wasn’t classified it’s none of your business,” Clay snapped, folding his own arms over his chest as he held Harm’s angry gaze. “What I do with my time isn’t your problem, Rabb.”
“You’ve made that abundantly clear,” Harm muttered, tearing his gaze away from Clay as he struggled to rein in his temper. He wasn’t going to lose it in front of Clay, not at a party full of nearly every politician in DC. He wasn’t going to give Clay the satisfaction of knowing how distracted he’d been all week, it shouldn’t matter to him whether Clay was on a date or not. For all he was supposed to care Clay could be sleeping with everyone on Capitol Hill, Harm had gotten what he wanted and now that it was over he was just going to have to deal with it.
“Nice to see something getting through that thick skull of yours,” Clay snapped as he brushed past Harm and disappeared around the corner. Harm turned on his heel and followed Clay until he reached the main room of the house and disappeared into the crowd, following him until Clay reached the door and handed his coat check ticket to the girl at the door. He took a deep breath and forced himself not to follow the other man, knowing that it wouldn’t do any good. Whatever they’d had was over, and no matter how much Harm wished it wasn't he knew it was for the best. He couldn’t give Clay what he wanted and Clay wasn’t willing to take what Harm had to offer. That was the problem with Clayton Webb, he was never willing to compromise. He was always so sure that his way was the right way that he couldn’t see anyone else’s point of view.
Harm sighed and turned back to the party, willing the image of Clay standing in the dark hallway out of his mind as he made his way back to Sturgis and Bobbi. When he reached them they both smiled cheerfully, and he did his best to look at least marginally cheerful as he picked up a fresh glass of champagne.
“Making the rounds?” Sturgis asked as he watched Harm swallow half the contents of his glass.
“Not exactly,” Harm answered, not quite meeting Sturgis’ gaze as he tried to think up an excuse to make a quick exit. There was no real reason for him to make small talk with the other partygoers, he’d put in an appearance and that was enough to make the Admiral happy. All he wanted to do now was slip quietly out of the house and go back to his loft where he could be alone. He knew he was going to be obsessing about the way Clay had dismissed him in the hallway, but there was no way he was going to be able to get his mind off the other man and he’d rather be alone with his thoughts than in a roomful of dignitaries.
He was about to give up on a decent excuse and just mumble a goodbye when the man he’d spotted Clay with passed them, stopping a few feet away to whisper something to the senator that was throwing the party. “Bobbi,” he said, keeping his voice low so no one would overhear him, “do you know who that man is? The one in the navy suit.”
“I think he works for Senator ,” Bobbi answered, following Harm’s gaze as the man in question turned and started moving through the crowd again. “One of his right-hand men if I’m not mistaken. Why?”
“No reason,” Harm answered, carefully avoiding the curious gazes he was sure his friends were directing at him. They were going to think he was acting strange regardless of what he told them, so it wouldn’t do him any good to look at them and prove to himself that he was right. Besides, he was acting strange, but he couldn’t explain it to them. He couldn’t even explain it to himself, he didn’t know why he’d asked Bobbi who that Marcus person was. He knew it shouldn’t matter who Clay moved on with, but for some reason every time he thought about it his stomach flipped.
Then there was the way his heart had sped up when Clay said that he wasn’t ready to move on from his last relationship. The way Clay had acted when he ended things Harm had just assumed that he couldn’t care less about the connection between them, but somehow listening to Clay talk to Marcus he got the feeling that it bothered Clay more than he’d let on. He didn’t want to keep thinking about it, trying to work out Webb’s motivations and convince himself that Clay actually cared about him. He didn’t want to be…was he jealous? Christ, he was jealous, the thought of Clay moving on with some smarmy politician made him want to put his fist through the nearest wall.
“I think I’ve had about all the networking I can take for one night,” he said, finally turning to look at his friends as he set his champagne glass down on the nearest table. “Enjoy your evening. Bobbi, it’s always a pleasure, Sturgis, I’ll see you on Monday.”
“You’re leaving? But you just got here,” Bobbi said, frowning as she realized Harm was going to get away before she had a chance to introduce him to any available women.
“You sure you’re okay, Harm?” Sturgis asked, frowning at his friend for a completely different reason.
Harm managed a weak smile as he began to back away from the couple. “Fine, just tired. It’s been a long week.” He waved and turned around, making a beeline for the front door before anyone got a chance to stop him. As soon as he retrieved his cover and hat he stepped out into the crisp night air, filling his lungs too fast and coughing as he fished his cell phone out of his uniform pocket.
When he stopped coughing he dialed a number he should have forgotten, holding his breath as he waited for the line to connect. The phone rang once, then again, and by the third ring he was about to give up and hang up before the voicemail service picked up. Just before he disconnected the line connected, though, and his heart skipped another beat as a familiar voice filled his ear.
“Webb.”
“We need to talk,” Harm said, wincing at the edge in his voice. He knew that sounding angry would just put Clay on the defensive again, but he couldn’t quite manage to rein in his nervousness enough to sound calm. “It’s important.”
He heard a sigh on the other end of the line and pictured Clay rolling his eyes, smiling in spite of himself at the image. “I don’t have time to go another round with you, Rabb. There’s nothing left to talk about.”
“Clay, please. Just meet me for a drink and hear me out.”
“Look, Rabb…” Clay paused and Harm heard him take a deep breath, his heart in his throat as he waited for the other man to hang up on him or tell him to stay out of his life.
“One drink, Clay. That’s all I’m asking.”
“This is pointless, we’ve been all over it,” Clay began, then he sighed again and Harm reminded himself to breathe. “Fine, one drink and then we never discuss this again.”
“Agreed.” Harm swallowed hard and closed his eyes as he wondered if he could keep that kind of promise. Even if Clay kept up his end of the bargain and heard Harm out he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to let it go, he’d been trying for a week and seeing Clay had just made things worse. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to work with the man and never bring up what they’d shared.
There was a long pause on the other end of the line, and Harm had begun to wonder if Clay had hung up already when the other man cleared his throat. “Tomorrow night, nine o’clock. There’s a bar outside of Manassas called The Ten Spot, do you know it?”
“I’ll find it,” Harm answered, opening his eyes again as he wondered if he’d be able to make it another 24 hours. “I’ll see you there.”
“Nine o’clock, Rabb. If you’re late I won’t wait.” The line clicked and then went dead, and Harm sighed as he slid his phone back into his pocket. He barely noticed the cold night air as he made his way down the sidewalk toward his car, praying with everything in him that Clay would just listen to what he needed to say.