Fic: (Forsaken, Nick/Sean, PG)
Final word count for January: 25,475. Word count for today: 568.
I have tons of stuff to do before I leave for Knoxville and very little time in which to do it, but I managed to get in a little writing at work and I figured I should post it before I go. This is part of that one meme, requested by dancinbutterfly, who wanted post-From Hudson Bay fic, set on Nick's birthday. I did have a sequel planned for that fic that I just never got around to, so I sort of improvised that idea here. I am not above cheating, after all.
He's scared to leave the hospital. Not that he has anywhere to go, but he's afraid to leave even long enough to find someplace to take a shower, because there's a part of him that thinks he'll come back to find Nick gone.
It's stupid, because Nick's been making promises about 'after' ever since Christmas, but he can't shake the feeling anyway. Part of it's the way Nick left him the last time, but part of it's Sean's fear that he's not really cured. He won't know until he sees the blood tests for himself, sees Nick and knows they finally found the right Forsaken and the virus is gone. And if they didn't he's wasting time sitting here when he could be out hunting, but he can't leave until he knows for sure.
Finally one of the nurses takes pity on him and lets him shower in an empty room, but he doesn't have any clean clothes and when he gets dressed again he doesn't feel much cleaner than before. There's blood dried on his shirt - he doesn't know if it's his or Nick's or somebody else's, but it doesn't matter because he's going to burn these clothes the first chance he gets.
All that matters is that Nick's going to pull through, at least according to everything the nurses have been telling him. Which isn't much, because he was too freaked out when he brought Nick in to remember to lie about being Nick's family. So they haven't even let him see Nick yet, but they keep promising he's going to be fine.
Sean passes the time by wandering the halls, finding the cafeteria first for coffee and food he doesn't even taste. When he wanders past the gift shop he stops on a whim, looking around because it's not like he's got anything better to do. He picks up stuffed animals and cheap glass vases, laughing to himself at what Nick would say if Sean showed up with flowers. He shakes the snow globes and flips through the paperbacks, marveling at the crap people will waste money on just to make themselves feel better.
So he's surprised when something catches his eye that he actually wants to buy, and he tries to talk himself out of it. It's stupid, after all, just like all the other souvenirs for sale in the gift shop. But that doesn't stop him from pulling one off the rack, hesitating before he hands over a few bucks to the girl behind the counter.
And they can't really afford it, but he shoves it in his pocket anyway and heads back up to the fourth floor to wait.
They make him wait three days before they declare Nick well enough for visitors. They're the longest three days of Sean's life, but when they finally let him into Nick's room he only has to take one look to know. One look, and he wants to cry because Nick's okay, the virus is gone and he's going to make it. He still looks like shit, because he lost a lot of blood and he's covered in bruises, but Sean's been there and he knows when the signs of the virus are gone.
"Hey," he says when he finally finds his voice, sinking into the plastic chair next to Nick's bed.
"Hey." Nick's voice is raw like he spent the past three days screaming, and Sean instinctively reaches for the water next to his bed. He hands the cup to Nick, arm behind his shoulders to help him sit up a little, and he didn't realize until now how much he missed just touching Nick.
"Thanks," Nick says when Sean pulls the cup away again, and when he grins Sean can tell how tired he is. "You don't have to do that shit anymore, you know. They said I'm gonna be fine."
"Somebody's gotta watch your back, man. You got yourself into this mess in the first place, remember?"
Nick laughs, the sound breaking off into a groan and he waves Sean off when he reaches for the water again. "Asshole."
"That's the thanks I get for saving your ass?"
"Hey, I could've taken them."
"Yeah, right. What were you gonna do, cough them to death?" He's only half kidding, because right before they finally caught up with Nick's Forsaken he was so sick Sean was pretty sure he wasn't going to make it. Nick wasn't sleeping because the virus kept him awake, the urge to feed gnawing at him, and Sean wasn't sleeping because he didn't want to be Nick's first meal. The fact that they'd managed to lure his Forsaken to sacred ground and actually get the upper hand long enough to waste the fucker was a miracle.
The fact that they found Nick's Forsaken in the first place is a miracle, though, and if Sean's learned one thing along the way, it's not to take that stuff for granted. Which is why he's been hanging around the hospital since Nick was admitted, too scared to leave even long enough to change his clothes. He knows he must look like hell, but he doesn't care because Nick's alive and breathing and he's not going anywhere. Not yet, anyway, and Sean learned a long time ago not to ask for more than that.
"Sean."
He looks up at the sound of his name, heart skipping a beat at the look on Nick's face. And he's not sure when he got to be such a pussy, but as long as Nick doesn't mind he's not going to worry about it. "Yeah?"
"Listen, thanks. Seriously."
And he isn't sure how to answer that, because what else was he going to do? Leave Nick to get himself killed by his own Forsaken? Or just ditch him alone in some seedy motel to turn while Sean fucked off back to L.A. to go through the motions for the rest of his life. No way that was happening, not as long as there was a chance they could save Nick. And now that it's all over Sean doesn't regret a second of it, because he loves Nick more now than he did when he woke up alone in the last hospital.
"Here, I got you something," he says, digging in his pocket for a second before he drops a plastic bag on Nick's chest.
How'd you know?"
"Know what?" Sean asks, settling back into his chair to watch Nick stare at the bag.
"That it's my birthday."
"I didn't," Sean answers, and now he feels kind of stupid, because it's not much of a present. "It's your birthday? Why didn't you say anything?"
"Wasn't sure I'd make it to another one," Nick says, shrugging and Sean wants to tell him that's a lousy excuse, but he can't really blame Nick. Until three days ago neither of them had much to celebrate, and now that they do Sean can't help feeling like he should have done more than pick up a lame souvenir at the hospital gift shop.
"Well it's not a birthday present," Sean says, nodding at the bag still resting on Nick's chest. "It's stupid. I don't know why I bought it."
He watches while Nick opens the bag, moving slow because he's still weak and Sean has to remind himself that he's going to be okay. When he finally gets the bag open he reaches inside and pulls out his present, lifting it up to squint at it before he looks over at Sean again.
"You bought me a keychain?"
"Yeah, well, I figured now that this is all over you might actually have a use for it."
Sean tells himself that he's not asking Nick for anything. He's not telling him he has to settle down, or worse, that he has to settle down with Sean. He's not asking for a commitment, he's just…making a suggestion. Because Nick's been on the road for a long time, and even he has to be tired of wandering by now. And if he wants to stick with Sean for awhile, Sean's not going to turn him down.
For awhile Nick doesn't answer; he's just lying there, staring at the stupid plastic keychain with the name of whatever town they landed in printed on it. And it was dumb of Sean to think he'd want a reminder of the place where he came back to life, but he wishes Nick would say something.
"So what happens now?"
"What do you mean?" Sean asks, shifting in the uncomfortable plastic chair. He wants to reach out and touch Nick, hold his hand or something just to make sure he's not burning up anymore. Or maybe he just wants to see if Nick will still let him, because Sean hasn't seen him in three days, and a lot can change in three days.
"I mean they're gonna let me out of here eventually, right? So are you planning to wait around until then or what?"
"Not if you don't want me to," Sean says. It comes out a little more defensive than he planned, but he's too busy worrying that Nick's going to throw him out to care. And it's a stupid question anyway, because he's already waited around this long. "Why, you want me to leave?"
"Don't be stupid," Nick answers, wincing when he shifts on the narrow bed and now Sean feels guilty for making him move. He leans forward to help Nick sit up, hands on his arms and then his shoulders as Nick settles a little higher up on his pillows. Sean lets his hands linger just a little, tracing the curve of Nick's shoulders and then sliding back down his chest. And yeah, he's copping a feel, but mostly he's just relieved that Nick still feels like…well, like Nick.
Finally he forces himself back into his chair, watching while Nick holds up the keychain and looks at Sean. "I'm not trying to get rid of you, Sean. I just want to know what happens next. Is there a key that goes with this thing or what?"
Sean shrugs, because the truth is he didn't really think that far ahead. Sure, he wants Nick to stick around, but the 'where' part he hasn't gotten around to planning. "Not yet, but eventually, yeah. If you want, I mean."
"We do make a pretty good team." And now Nick's grinning at him, something that shouldn't make Sean want to cry. But it's been a long three days, and he's spent most of them wide awake and now that the waiting is over, he's pretty sure he could sleep for a week.
"Yeah, we do."
"So we might as well stick together."
"Sounds like a plan," Sean says, returning Nick's grin. "Tell you what, when they let you out of here we'll celebrate your birthday right, and then we'll figure out what to do with this thing."
He reaches out to pull the keychain out of Nick's hand, but instead of letting go Nick's fingers wrap around his own. For a few seconds he just holds on, and when he finally lets go Sean has to stop himself from grabbing Nick's hand again.
"Sounds good to me. But you should go get some sleep first, man. You look like shit."
And he knows it's true, so he doesn't bother to argue. Instead he just shakes his head and grins again, standing up and pushing the chair back. "Whatever. Just get better already so we can get the hell out of here."
"I'm fine," Nick answers, but his eyes close and Sean can tell he's wiped out.
"Right," Sean says. He hesitates for a second before he reminds himself to stop being such a pussy and just leans over, pressing a kiss to Nick's forehead. "Happy birthday, Nick."
"Thanks for the keychain," Nick murmurs, eyes still closed and Sean laughs and shakes his head. He has a feeling he's not going to live that one down any time soon, but as long as Nick's around to make fun of him, he doesn't really care.
~
I, too, am really sad about Molly Ivins. I saw her speak at Colorado State a few years ago and she was as amazing in person as she is was in print. She was smart and rational and charming in her way, and she will be missed.
And on that note, I bid you farewell for awhile. I think. I'm not actually hitting the road until Sunday night, but I have way too much to do. I'm excited, but I'll be glad when Tuesday is over.
I have tons of stuff to do before I leave for Knoxville and very little time in which to do it, but I managed to get in a little writing at work and I figured I should post it before I go. This is part of that one meme, requested by dancinbutterfly, who wanted post-From Hudson Bay fic, set on Nick's birthday. I did have a sequel planned for that fic that I just never got around to, so I sort of improvised that idea here. I am not above cheating, after all.
He's scared to leave the hospital. Not that he has anywhere to go, but he's afraid to leave even long enough to find someplace to take a shower, because there's a part of him that thinks he'll come back to find Nick gone.
It's stupid, because Nick's been making promises about 'after' ever since Christmas, but he can't shake the feeling anyway. Part of it's the way Nick left him the last time, but part of it's Sean's fear that he's not really cured. He won't know until he sees the blood tests for himself, sees Nick and knows they finally found the right Forsaken and the virus is gone. And if they didn't he's wasting time sitting here when he could be out hunting, but he can't leave until he knows for sure.
Finally one of the nurses takes pity on him and lets him shower in an empty room, but he doesn't have any clean clothes and when he gets dressed again he doesn't feel much cleaner than before. There's blood dried on his shirt - he doesn't know if it's his or Nick's or somebody else's, but it doesn't matter because he's going to burn these clothes the first chance he gets.
All that matters is that Nick's going to pull through, at least according to everything the nurses have been telling him. Which isn't much, because he was too freaked out when he brought Nick in to remember to lie about being Nick's family. So they haven't even let him see Nick yet, but they keep promising he's going to be fine.
Sean passes the time by wandering the halls, finding the cafeteria first for coffee and food he doesn't even taste. When he wanders past the gift shop he stops on a whim, looking around because it's not like he's got anything better to do. He picks up stuffed animals and cheap glass vases, laughing to himself at what Nick would say if Sean showed up with flowers. He shakes the snow globes and flips through the paperbacks, marveling at the crap people will waste money on just to make themselves feel better.
So he's surprised when something catches his eye that he actually wants to buy, and he tries to talk himself out of it. It's stupid, after all, just like all the other souvenirs for sale in the gift shop. But that doesn't stop him from pulling one off the rack, hesitating before he hands over a few bucks to the girl behind the counter.
And they can't really afford it, but he shoves it in his pocket anyway and heads back up to the fourth floor to wait.
They make him wait three days before they declare Nick well enough for visitors. They're the longest three days of Sean's life, but when they finally let him into Nick's room he only has to take one look to know. One look, and he wants to cry because Nick's okay, the virus is gone and he's going to make it. He still looks like shit, because he lost a lot of blood and he's covered in bruises, but Sean's been there and he knows when the signs of the virus are gone.
"Hey," he says when he finally finds his voice, sinking into the plastic chair next to Nick's bed.
"Hey." Nick's voice is raw like he spent the past three days screaming, and Sean instinctively reaches for the water next to his bed. He hands the cup to Nick, arm behind his shoulders to help him sit up a little, and he didn't realize until now how much he missed just touching Nick.
"Thanks," Nick says when Sean pulls the cup away again, and when he grins Sean can tell how tired he is. "You don't have to do that shit anymore, you know. They said I'm gonna be fine."
"Somebody's gotta watch your back, man. You got yourself into this mess in the first place, remember?"
Nick laughs, the sound breaking off into a groan and he waves Sean off when he reaches for the water again. "Asshole."
"That's the thanks I get for saving your ass?"
"Hey, I could've taken them."
"Yeah, right. What were you gonna do, cough them to death?" He's only half kidding, because right before they finally caught up with Nick's Forsaken he was so sick Sean was pretty sure he wasn't going to make it. Nick wasn't sleeping because the virus kept him awake, the urge to feed gnawing at him, and Sean wasn't sleeping because he didn't want to be Nick's first meal. The fact that they'd managed to lure his Forsaken to sacred ground and actually get the upper hand long enough to waste the fucker was a miracle.
The fact that they found Nick's Forsaken in the first place is a miracle, though, and if Sean's learned one thing along the way, it's not to take that stuff for granted. Which is why he's been hanging around the hospital since Nick was admitted, too scared to leave even long enough to change his clothes. He knows he must look like hell, but he doesn't care because Nick's alive and breathing and he's not going anywhere. Not yet, anyway, and Sean learned a long time ago not to ask for more than that.
"Sean."
He looks up at the sound of his name, heart skipping a beat at the look on Nick's face. And he's not sure when he got to be such a pussy, but as long as Nick doesn't mind he's not going to worry about it. "Yeah?"
"Listen, thanks. Seriously."
And he isn't sure how to answer that, because what else was he going to do? Leave Nick to get himself killed by his own Forsaken? Or just ditch him alone in some seedy motel to turn while Sean fucked off back to L.A. to go through the motions for the rest of his life. No way that was happening, not as long as there was a chance they could save Nick. And now that it's all over Sean doesn't regret a second of it, because he loves Nick more now than he did when he woke up alone in the last hospital.
"Here, I got you something," he says, digging in his pocket for a second before he drops a plastic bag on Nick's chest.
How'd you know?"
"Know what?" Sean asks, settling back into his chair to watch Nick stare at the bag.
"That it's my birthday."
"I didn't," Sean answers, and now he feels kind of stupid, because it's not much of a present. "It's your birthday? Why didn't you say anything?"
"Wasn't sure I'd make it to another one," Nick says, shrugging and Sean wants to tell him that's a lousy excuse, but he can't really blame Nick. Until three days ago neither of them had much to celebrate, and now that they do Sean can't help feeling like he should have done more than pick up a lame souvenir at the hospital gift shop.
"Well it's not a birthday present," Sean says, nodding at the bag still resting on Nick's chest. "It's stupid. I don't know why I bought it."
He watches while Nick opens the bag, moving slow because he's still weak and Sean has to remind himself that he's going to be okay. When he finally gets the bag open he reaches inside and pulls out his present, lifting it up to squint at it before he looks over at Sean again.
"You bought me a keychain?"
"Yeah, well, I figured now that this is all over you might actually have a use for it."
Sean tells himself that he's not asking Nick for anything. He's not telling him he has to settle down, or worse, that he has to settle down with Sean. He's not asking for a commitment, he's just…making a suggestion. Because Nick's been on the road for a long time, and even he has to be tired of wandering by now. And if he wants to stick with Sean for awhile, Sean's not going to turn him down.
For awhile Nick doesn't answer; he's just lying there, staring at the stupid plastic keychain with the name of whatever town they landed in printed on it. And it was dumb of Sean to think he'd want a reminder of the place where he came back to life, but he wishes Nick would say something.
"So what happens now?"
"What do you mean?" Sean asks, shifting in the uncomfortable plastic chair. He wants to reach out and touch Nick, hold his hand or something just to make sure he's not burning up anymore. Or maybe he just wants to see if Nick will still let him, because Sean hasn't seen him in three days, and a lot can change in three days.
"I mean they're gonna let me out of here eventually, right? So are you planning to wait around until then or what?"
"Not if you don't want me to," Sean says. It comes out a little more defensive than he planned, but he's too busy worrying that Nick's going to throw him out to care. And it's a stupid question anyway, because he's already waited around this long. "Why, you want me to leave?"
"Don't be stupid," Nick answers, wincing when he shifts on the narrow bed and now Sean feels guilty for making him move. He leans forward to help Nick sit up, hands on his arms and then his shoulders as Nick settles a little higher up on his pillows. Sean lets his hands linger just a little, tracing the curve of Nick's shoulders and then sliding back down his chest. And yeah, he's copping a feel, but mostly he's just relieved that Nick still feels like…well, like Nick.
Finally he forces himself back into his chair, watching while Nick holds up the keychain and looks at Sean. "I'm not trying to get rid of you, Sean. I just want to know what happens next. Is there a key that goes with this thing or what?"
Sean shrugs, because the truth is he didn't really think that far ahead. Sure, he wants Nick to stick around, but the 'where' part he hasn't gotten around to planning. "Not yet, but eventually, yeah. If you want, I mean."
"We do make a pretty good team." And now Nick's grinning at him, something that shouldn't make Sean want to cry. But it's been a long three days, and he's spent most of them wide awake and now that the waiting is over, he's pretty sure he could sleep for a week.
"Yeah, we do."
"So we might as well stick together."
"Sounds like a plan," Sean says, returning Nick's grin. "Tell you what, when they let you out of here we'll celebrate your birthday right, and then we'll figure out what to do with this thing."
He reaches out to pull the keychain out of Nick's hand, but instead of letting go Nick's fingers wrap around his own. For a few seconds he just holds on, and when he finally lets go Sean has to stop himself from grabbing Nick's hand again.
"Sounds good to me. But you should go get some sleep first, man. You look like shit."
And he knows it's true, so he doesn't bother to argue. Instead he just shakes his head and grins again, standing up and pushing the chair back. "Whatever. Just get better already so we can get the hell out of here."
"I'm fine," Nick answers, but his eyes close and Sean can tell he's wiped out.
"Right," Sean says. He hesitates for a second before he reminds himself to stop being such a pussy and just leans over, pressing a kiss to Nick's forehead. "Happy birthday, Nick."
"Thanks for the keychain," Nick murmurs, eyes still closed and Sean laughs and shakes his head. He has a feeling he's not going to live that one down any time soon, but as long as Nick's around to make fun of him, he doesn't really care.
~
I, too, am really sad about Molly Ivins. I saw her speak at Colorado State a few years ago and she was as amazing in person as she is was in print. She was smart and rational and charming in her way, and she will be missed.
And on that note, I bid you farewell for awhile. I think. I'm not actually hitting the road until Sunday night, but I have way too much to do. I'm excited, but I'll be glad when Tuesday is over.