What a day.
Today is the two year anniversary of when my baby sis was abused. Yep I am in no happy mood, but at least I get to go on a fiels trip to Chaddock (ajuvenile psychological place) and A Juvenile Detention Center. Sometimes I ask why I was chosen to have to face my sister in this situation, and yet tears seem to keep coming. Formal ios this weeekend and I get to dress up pretty for that. But there is so much that I want to say about today but it makes me feel real sad. Why I can't say it is because I would breach my inner soul. Sometimes I just wish that all the pain would go away yet it seems that it never really does even though I have masked it for this long, because I am a stubborn mule horse. I just can't help thinking why couldn't I stop it. WHy did it have to be her. Why did I let this happen, and yet I know I can't change the past, and the rage builds up and I am so tired of feeling that I am so helpless and can do nothing about the issues that are currently bothering me. I want it all to go away. I am caught in the middle between two people I felt would never fight, yet there is too much pain behind the two that they really .... I can't finish the thought. I need some resolution in my life and yet it seems I will live with this day forever.