Pet abuse
My heart is in knots. I have no idea what to do. I think it is safe to say that I am living with an animal abuser.
First of all, Salem has a psychological problem with kitty litter and I am sure it stems from his first few months of life being spent in a room with a dozen other cats, where the litter box was never clean enough. When the litter box is either too full, enough to sink in while he is in there--or too empty, when there is not enough litter to cover feces or urine--he will periodically go on the floor right beside the litter box. He only does this with feces and not urine, so I assume he cares more about covering his feces than he does his urine. Although my father refuses to admit this, I claim this started happening when we switched to clumping litter. I am not sure how these two issues connect or if they do at all, but I remember that this did not happen until we switched litters, or at least that seems to be when this started.
I know it is a psychological problem and that it could be addressed by a vet or animal psychologist. There are thousands of people who study the psychology of animals and who help pet owners solve problems they might be having with their pets. There are too many pets in the world for these people not to exist. But first, my father does not believe animals have psychological problems. Secondly, he tells me that I have to solve the problem myself because he is not paying to take Salem anywhere. If I had the money, this problem would have been solved long ago because I am not the type of pet owner who would bitch and complain about possible expenses. I am fully willing to spend money on my pets when they require things like shots or other appointments to address problems I might be having with them. My father believes in buying food and litter, and that is it. He has said several times that he will put either cat down if they got sick because he would not be paying for vet appointments, medicine or surgery.
I mentioned a couple of entries ago that my father has been threatening to get rid of Salem, over and over again. Before when Salem used to defecate on the floor, my father would get angry but he always just cleaned it up. We shared these duties and 99% of the time, I am the one cleaning up after Salem so he does not get into trouble later. (And to be honest, I do not really care. It does not bother me or gross me out. Every pet is going to have some sort of problem. You do not just stop talking to a human being if they are diagnosed with a disease or disorder, so why on earth would you do that to an animal, a helpless creature? You just accept it and learn to live with it. It is your pet and you do what needs to be done to take care of him/her. Period.) I have even lied several times when my father has asked, after being away or whatnot, if Salem has done it again. I always say no. I clean up the accidents before he gets home from work, if I am home.
Tonight, he came home from work to find that Salem had gone on the floor again. I was in my room working on an essay, but I heard my father grab Salem (Salem was trying to run away from him down the hall) and take him into the bathroom, and then I heard yelling and something that sounded like smacking. It happened too fast for me to even get in there before Salem had squirmed out of his grip and bolted down the hall. My mouth dropped open, I leaped up from my chair and ran into the bathroom to ask if he had just hit Salem. He openly admitted he did, and that he rubbed his Salem's face in his feces, and seemed almost proud of himself. I screaned at him and called him a tyrant. I sat there arguing with him telling him he could not hit a helpless animal, but of course, he defended his right to since Salem should be going in his litter box. To him, it is just another way to exert his power and he will take full advantage of those situations when they are presented to him, just as he assaulted me and said it was okay because I deserved it. I tried to explain that it is a psychological problem with Salem that we need outside help with, but he says it is my responsibility to fix the problem. I said to just tell me to clean up the mess so he does not have to deal with it, but he says that is not a solution. He keeps saying that if it keeps happening, he will bring Salem to the Humane Society. My argument there is that he is my cat, and you cannot just 'throw out' someone else's property. There are obviously laws against animal abuse, and if he ever does it again, I have no problem reporting him and having him fined. So he then changes his argument and says he will force me to get rid of him because it is 'his house.' I gave up fighting because he was getting out of control with his yelling. I went to find Salem, who was hiding under the bed, and brought him into my room. He is currently under my blanket with just hit head in view, and he looks goddamn traumatized. His eyes are so wide that all you can see is his pupils. The sight made me cry. He is now napping. I have been making sure to keep touching him and petting him gently, to let him know that I am not going to hurt him. But I can tell he is shaken up about it.
Obviously, there is no way in hell I would ever get rid of Salem. If worse comes to worst, I will bring him to Sean's temporarily. I do not think Sean would have a problem looking after him for a while because he loves both of my cats dearly. I wouldl have to find a way to pay for the cat food. The only problem with this is that Shadow would be heartbroken, and Salem would be traumatized not seeing his brother every day and not seeing me every day. The thing with animals is that you cannot just take them out of environments and expect them to adapt the way humans do, especially when there is another cat involved. I just hope it does not come to that. It would be traumatizing for both of my cats. But it is obviously better than Salem undergoing physical abuse. That is one thing I cannot and will not allow, especially when it comes to my own cat. I will put my pet's safety and life even before my own. Everyone knows how I am when it comes to animal abuse. I have zero tolerance for it. I do not care who it is or how they try to justify it. There is no excuse for it and it is completely illegal.
I have no idea what I am going to do. Salem belongs to me, and my father would be the first to admit that Salem is not his cat. He cannot force me to get rid of a cat that has lived here for six years, and certainly not since he refuses to get help for Salem's problem. You do not just throw out a cat when it does something wrong. You get the problem addressed. All I know is that I cannot have Salem exposed to any form of abuse. The psychological repercussions for animals who endure abuse are horrible. My aunt's cat is a prime example; she will not let anyone touch her but my aunt, and even then, she sometimes even hisses and paws at my aunt when she touches her. A cat's response to abuse is to fear all human beings, and I do not want that to happen to Salem.
I honestly had no idea my father was capable of all of this even five years ago. I was aware he was emotionally and verbally abusive, but he is so much worse than that. It has gotten so bad and I should have just postponed university after I graduated high school to get my own place. It was not this bad back then (or I suppose it was just this bad in different ways), but I should have known better. I have never met someone who has caused so much pain, both emotional and physical, to so many people and now animals. I would like to believe that everyone deserves to be loved, but honestly, I do not believe my father does anymore.
I am going to get my grandmother to have a talk with him. I know she will not tolerate this either. I always get her to talk to my father before I completely give up because sometimes she can get through to him. It is rare, but it happens. If he refuses to keep his hands off of Salem, either Salem is going to a good home or I am going and bringing Shadow and Salem with me.