Feels
Woke up from a dream where Potential Love Interest (PLI) 1 had decided to date someone plain and boring and mousey which had upset me, mainly due to not realizing PLI1 was interested in dating at all.
Then over breakfast I was eavesdropping on a conversation between a small group of lesbian women, which made me sad that men have dominated my dating life and brought up feelings about opportunities lost.
Followed by reminders of PLI2 and possibilities for the future should I end up overcoming my ice queen façade to be able to feel again, thank you supermarket shopping. What?
And then making plans with PLI3 and having thoughts about the fantasy land where all of our dreams come true and we run off into the sunset together for success and happiness. More feelings, many of self-doubt.
Then seeing posts on Instagram of a girl I follow referring to making "us" dinner, "us" being a former PLI, far across the ocean, and still able to stir up feelings. Grrr, stomp.
How come I can't feel most of the time and then all I can feel is unrequited or sadness relating to loss or anything but not actual, present, real love? Hey, it might be nice to be in love someday. Like, soon. It's lonely inside this head of mine.
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