I'm sorry
For whatever it was I did to not have some of my oldest and most treasured friends in my life anymore.
For being a drunken mess with feelings six months ago and being played for a fool and acting like one.
For being a shit housemate and not being home to keep my kitty company and not trying hard enough to make things better.
For working too much and neglecting my other responsibilities and friends.
For being shit with money, making bad financial choices and prioritizing the wrong things.
For thinking with my heart and not my head.
For not being able to communicate my feelings properly.
For being a shit daughter and not living up to expectations, for not contributing enough to the household and not trying my best to achieve that which I have been given the luxury of freedom and opportunity to.
For being selfish and caring too much about myself to be a good friend.
For letting people down and missing deadlines and underestimating time and resources required to fulfill commitments.
For letting my desire to maintain friendships interfere with my friends new relationships and causing people to feel uncomfortable.
For bailing on people for other things that I deemed more important when I really meant more fun or less effort.
For not being present and instead being inside my own head.
For not making enough effort to be on one and not valuing others' time enough to not keep them waiting.
For letting my own insecurities ruin the best relationship I ever had, and not being honest with myself and them when it came to my real feelings, and betraying them in the process.
For jeopardizing relationships that weren't mine to mess around with and selfishly behaving as if I had no responsibility.
For leading people on who are pure of heart and just want the best for me, and to care for me, when I just didn't want to be alone.
For so many things... that I wish I could take back. But I can't, and now I have to live with the consequences. But if any of this rings true for you in the way that I have been in the time I've known or interacted with you, please know that I am truly, deeply sorry.
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.