july

[carnag3]

today is a day i'm not in the mood for...
I miss my friends, i miss danielle and steph (because i love them) and mack and kyle (when they were my friends)

Agh as far as relationships go so far,

i'm definitely not in the mood to tie myself down, i'm not passionate about anything so far in my life, so how can i risk being passionate about one person, i'll jsut build my life around them and i'll resent myself

i seriously just want to be friends with a guy, then get the hots for him like the old days

i don't want to commit to someone i just want to connect.
like all the fooling that comes with a relationship is pretty personal stuffs to me.
i've been spending a lot of time this week wondering where all the excitement i used to feel has gone...
in a lot of things...
pff i just got a lot of excitement steze being drowned by fear,

.im afraid to let go,
trying new things,
relapsing,
being hurt

i mean. maybe i just need to spend sometime not being asked for my phone number so that i can appreciate being lonely like that again,

i mean there was like a two day gap wtf