these were on my myspace, so I thought I'd bring them to life here.
Love, you are foolish, you're tired, your sleeplessness makes you a liar
I feel like I need a disclaimer. I'm not depressed. I'll be fine. This is how I write. You just don't know because you've never seen it before. Myspace is just an easy way for me to drop an idea or two. If I could give my words the sugary appeal of a gum drop I would. But I can't. Words are my black jelly bean. You nudge it around with a scowl looking for something better. I'm not asking you to taste it, and heaven forbid you don't have to swallow it. I don't even want you to take the effort to spit it out. The fact that you nudge it is good enough for me.
The July heat is stifling. I think we found something we can all agree on.
I've grown weary of gasping for air.
Back country roads, school, and small town small minds.
I want to be sufficated by something new.
Death by tall buildings, strangers, and odd shadows on new pavement.
Sounds like a much better way to go.
I'm not yet old enough for real responsibilty.
I'm still so selfish.
I think it's time to buy everyone a round. Mischief and mayhem.
On the house.
Yes, yes indeed. We are far to young for boundries.
Bring me your tired, your weak, and your lavishly surruptitious.
Let's obsess. In our idiosyncrasies we will find the people we are supposed to be.
I'm going to search for the end of the world with someone who makes me hope I never find it.
Oh, kiddo, don't kill the curiosity, let it kill you.
nobody dances anymore.
If I can't have you'll, I'll just dream about you.
dreams are such an odd way for your brain to tell you to get it right.
a clandestine attempt by the sub concious to force you to listen.
I've forced myself to sleep, only to wake up with nothing to show for the hours I tossed and turned.
until recently
a levy in the hidden areas of my brain seems to have collapsed.
my nights are now filled with situatuions that make me sweat for reasons both good and bad, though I can hardly understand what they mean.
and last night was like an appifiny of hope, not that I'm hopeless or anything
but it was nice
to go to sleep and find a world that was far more happier than anything I could be doing at the moment.
I know my personality is obsessive, you don't have to tell me, I live it.
I can assure you I can't really help it.
which is why finally remembering dreams is such a relief.
it's a world were being obsessive and neurotic is okay.
it's my own little place of solice and it's nice.
some people spend their night haunted by the memories of their past
or the mistakes they are waiting to make
but it's nice to be able to slip away from the day to day to see what could be.
sometimes the memories made from your wildest illusions are far nicer than the ones you make while trying.
carmeninaslightlyobesssivemood
these finger tips are moving faster than my lips
Stutter something profound.
People dissapoint.
I guess I gotta get over that.
Excuses and apologies are for people who can't admit when they're wrong.
I'll learn one day that no one is me, so I'll be forever confused.
Summer is so lame sometimes.
To much time to sit around and disect the things that make me the way I hate to be.
I need to be alone.
Alone I'm a bumbling girl with no direction.
I need to be with someone.
But then I don't like the me I pretend to be.
Don't get all worried, I'll be okay when I figure myself out.
I can't express anything orally to anyone.
Looks like I can't really do it on paper either.
Or the computer screen, or whatever.
Words are pointless.
They don't mean a thing without the actions, but we're all spending to much time being stupid to think about those trivial actions.
pretty please just trick me.
Watch Pretty in Pink, listen to Fall Out Boy's Pretty in Punk. Remember that sometimes the neurotic people are the most interesting. Sometimes, in alternate worlds where Molly Ringwald and Pete Wentz are the outcasts, the pretty boys and girls might not win and the rest of us will stand a chance. Find the people you want to be your friends and try to remember not to forget about them. Forget the future, the pretty people, the worries, and the faliure. It's summer and it's time to figure out what it's all about.
I feel like I need a disclaimer. I'm not depressed. I'll be fine. This is how I write. You just don't know because you've never seen it before. Myspace is just an easy way for me to drop an idea or two. If I could give my words the sugary appeal of a gum drop I would. But I can't. Words are my black jelly bean. You nudge it around with a scowl looking for something better. I'm not asking you to taste it, and heaven forbid you don't have to swallow it. I don't even want you to take the effort to spit it out. The fact that you nudge it is good enough for me.
The July heat is stifling. I think we found something we can all agree on.
I've grown weary of gasping for air.
Back country roads, school, and small town small minds.
I want to be sufficated by something new.
Death by tall buildings, strangers, and odd shadows on new pavement.
Sounds like a much better way to go.
I'm not yet old enough for real responsibilty.
I'm still so selfish.
I think it's time to buy everyone a round. Mischief and mayhem.
On the house.
Yes, yes indeed. We are far to young for boundries.
Bring me your tired, your weak, and your lavishly surruptitious.
Let's obsess. In our idiosyncrasies we will find the people we are supposed to be.
I'm going to search for the end of the world with someone who makes me hope I never find it.
Oh, kiddo, don't kill the curiosity, let it kill you.
nobody dances anymore.
If I can't have you'll, I'll just dream about you.
dreams are such an odd way for your brain to tell you to get it right.
a clandestine attempt by the sub concious to force you to listen.
I've forced myself to sleep, only to wake up with nothing to show for the hours I tossed and turned.
until recently
a levy in the hidden areas of my brain seems to have collapsed.
my nights are now filled with situatuions that make me sweat for reasons both good and bad, though I can hardly understand what they mean.
and last night was like an appifiny of hope, not that I'm hopeless or anything
but it was nice
to go to sleep and find a world that was far more happier than anything I could be doing at the moment.
I know my personality is obsessive, you don't have to tell me, I live it.
I can assure you I can't really help it.
which is why finally remembering dreams is such a relief.
it's a world were being obsessive and neurotic is okay.
it's my own little place of solice and it's nice.
some people spend their night haunted by the memories of their past
or the mistakes they are waiting to make
but it's nice to be able to slip away from the day to day to see what could be.
sometimes the memories made from your wildest illusions are far nicer than the ones you make while trying.
carmeninaslightlyobesssivemood
these finger tips are moving faster than my lips
Stutter something profound.
People dissapoint.
I guess I gotta get over that.
Excuses and apologies are for people who can't admit when they're wrong.
I'll learn one day that no one is me, so I'll be forever confused.
Summer is so lame sometimes.
To much time to sit around and disect the things that make me the way I hate to be.
I need to be alone.
Alone I'm a bumbling girl with no direction.
I need to be with someone.
But then I don't like the me I pretend to be.
Don't get all worried, I'll be okay when I figure myself out.
I can't express anything orally to anyone.
Looks like I can't really do it on paper either.
Or the computer screen, or whatever.
Words are pointless.
They don't mean a thing without the actions, but we're all spending to much time being stupid to think about those trivial actions.
pretty please just trick me.
Watch Pretty in Pink, listen to Fall Out Boy's Pretty in Punk. Remember that sometimes the neurotic people are the most interesting. Sometimes, in alternate worlds where Molly Ringwald and Pete Wentz are the outcasts, the pretty boys and girls might not win and the rest of us will stand a chance. Find the people you want to be your friends and try to remember not to forget about them. Forget the future, the pretty people, the worries, and the faliure. It's summer and it's time to figure out what it's all about.