I love my dad, I truly do, but sometimes he says something so funny that I need to share. Today we were talking about internet radio ( Read more... )

From the desk of Brigadier General Flapjack O'Neill

Deer Hooman.

U clipz clawz, I getz treetz.  I iz not liking wet foodz.  In fuchur, mai treetz will bee in teh form of butterz.

Reegardz,

[pawprint]

Flapjack

Can do, Flappy.  Can do.

Let me start this by saying that I am among that crazy fringe that hold it possible that the Large Hadron Collider could kill us all when it gets going full-speed-ahead.  I realize it's running now; I simply allow for the possibility that it could cause us to die in a terrible, inexplicable way.

That said, could people from the future - or possibly ( Read more... )

With all the recent talk of the Fijian dictatorship's rabid attempts to preserve the integrity of its fucking Fiji Water brand, I can really only think one thing:  "Don't you fuckers know you're despoiling Lister's dreams?!"

Thanks to BoingBoing I have found a new source of entertainment.  I read back to the beginning and laughed for hours.  It's a little piece of sunshine called Snacks and Shit; it chronicles hillarious or incomprehensible rap lyrics.  But pay close attention, because the Labels are just about the funniest part.

I finally figured out what guys actually want for Valentines Day.  Sure, food always works, and kisses and cuddles are great, but the thing that makes guys squeal like a little girl?  Not silk boxers, not a back massage...

Nerf N-Strike!

Dear lady who put a vacuum on Freecycle,

When bob_wonderllama  said it was a bagless upright that occasionally overheats, I knew we were right for eachother.  You see, you're a moron and Teddy and I are ingenious fixer-types.  Sure enough, as soon as Llama opened that baby up we knew it wasn't the motor.  One wire coathanger and a plastic bag full of clog ( ( Read more... )

I surprise myself sometimes.

I said to bob_wonderllama  the other day that there was this emo-ish song that I just couldn't get over, it's so catchy.  Something about right between the eyes.  And I'll be damned, I said, if it doesn't sound a little like The Offspring.  I mean, the voice isn't as clear, but sometimes I could swear the chorus sounds just like them ( Read more... )

My darling bob_wonderllama is in Seattle on the business trip that was supposed to happen in March, then August, then September, then it was cancelled...  Anyway, the original plan was that I was supposed to accompany him on a vacation to see my family with a nice little lucrative sideline of him working.  Now that I have a job it couldn't possibly work out, and ( Read more... )

If you don't think this kicks ass, you're a douchebag.  After you're done reading that, read everything else she writes.