How To Tell If You Are An American Witch
by Ravyn, Lady Heresy
You have substituted soda-pop for wine in ritual:
Coke=Traditional/ Gardenarian
Cherry Coke=Alexandrian
Dr. Pepper=Eclectric
7-Up or Vanilla Coke=Dianic
RootBeer=Folk/ Appalachian
GingerAle=Native American
Grape=Neo/Reconstru ctionist
Orange=Chaos
Pepsi=New Age/Wiccan
Cream Soda=Faery
Mountain Dew=Satanic
You have substituted cookies for cakes in ritual:
Almond Cookies=Traditional /Gardenarian
Brownies=Alexandria n
Chips Ahoy=Eclectric
Sugar Cookies=Dianic
Oatmeal Raisin=Folk/ Appalachian
Molasses=Native American
Pecan Sandies=Neo/ Reconstructionis t
Nutter Butters=Chaos
White Chocolate Macadamia Nut=New Age/Wiccan
Vanilla Wafers=Faery
Oreos=Satanic
You bought your chalice on eBay and it has at least one dragon
on it.
You bought your athame at a Flea Market and it has at least one dragon on it.
Your paten or pentacle on the altar is hand-made ceramic that you bought at a Pagan Craft Faire and it has at least one dragon on it.
You have left an 'offering' of hotdogs and potato chips under the oak tree after a family cook-out.
You consider the end of your driveway as a 'crossroads' .
You have ever 'honored the Lord and Lady' in a tent in the back yard.
Marshmallows and S'Mores are incorporated in your Beltaine Fire
celebration.
Your home is Feng-Shui, your Chakras are all open, and your Aura is clean and you are not concerned about your Karma because you harmed none today.
You have ever saved the last sip of Mocha Latte and the last bite of Krispy Kreme for the Fairies. (they love Krispy Kremes!)
You have ever used Kosher Salt on the altar or burned Opium incense. (it does smell better than Sandalwood!)
You have ever used the Flag of the United States as an altar cloth. (only on 4th of July, Memorial Day and Veteran's Day!)
At least one of your ritual robes is denim or tie-dyed.
Your Goddesses are Isis and Diana and Hecate and your Gods are Odin and Herne and Dionysius and if you invited them to a dinner party you would serve sushi and quesadillas.
You have ever smudged your bathroom with white sage after your
husband/boyfriend/ brother/father used it...
And finally you KNOW you are an American Witch if you hope someday to make a Sacred Pilgrimage to Salem, Massachusetts.
You have substituted soda-pop for wine in ritual:
Coke=Traditional/ Gardenarian
Cherry Coke=Alexandrian
Dr. Pepper=Eclectric
7-Up or Vanilla Coke=Dianic
RootBeer=Folk/ Appalachian
GingerAle=Native American
Grape=Neo/Reconstru ctionist
Orange=Chaos
Pepsi=New Age/Wiccan
Cream Soda=Faery
Mountain Dew=Satanic
You have substituted cookies for cakes in ritual:
Almond Cookies=Traditional /Gardenarian
Brownies=Alexandria n
Chips Ahoy=Eclectric
Sugar Cookies=Dianic
Oatmeal Raisin=Folk/ Appalachian
Molasses=Native American
Pecan Sandies=Neo/ Reconstructionis t
Nutter Butters=Chaos
White Chocolate Macadamia Nut=New Age/Wiccan
Vanilla Wafers=Faery
Oreos=Satanic
You bought your chalice on eBay and it has at least one dragon
on it.
You bought your athame at a Flea Market and it has at least one dragon on it.
Your paten or pentacle on the altar is hand-made ceramic that you bought at a Pagan Craft Faire and it has at least one dragon on it.
You have left an 'offering' of hotdogs and potato chips under the oak tree after a family cook-out.
You consider the end of your driveway as a 'crossroads' .
You have ever 'honored the Lord and Lady' in a tent in the back yard.
Marshmallows and S'Mores are incorporated in your Beltaine Fire
celebration.
Your home is Feng-Shui, your Chakras are all open, and your Aura is clean and you are not concerned about your Karma because you harmed none today.
You have ever saved the last sip of Mocha Latte and the last bite of Krispy Kreme for the Fairies. (they love Krispy Kremes!)
You have ever used Kosher Salt on the altar or burned Opium incense. (it does smell better than Sandalwood!)
You have ever used the Flag of the United States as an altar cloth. (only on 4th of July, Memorial Day and Veteran's Day!)
At least one of your ritual robes is denim or tie-dyed.
Your Goddesses are Isis and Diana and Hecate and your Gods are Odin and Herne and Dionysius and if you invited them to a dinner party you would serve sushi and quesadillas.
You have ever smudged your bathroom with white sage after your
husband/boyfriend/ brother/father used it...
And finally you KNOW you are an American Witch if you hope someday to make a Sacred Pilgrimage to Salem, Massachusetts.