dealing
It was 2 weeks since this easter that I lost my mom. I am not sure why it happened, or even how. I knew she had Bronchitis, but it wasn't bad. She was just so tired that sat. When she called me that night to tell me she loved me, I would have never thought that it would be the last time I would here her say that.
I know my mom and I had ou differences. Heck! We couldn't even live together because we fought all the time. But I would take back it all, and have even another fight, just to hear her voice again. I loved her so dearly.
It is gonna be hard to not have her there to help me along the way. I really will need her advice inthe future. I even need it now. Not only am I trying to figure out how to take care of myself on my own, I am tryign to figure out how to take care of my grand parents. They are worse than me. It breaks my heart to hear my grandma keep repeating..."my children are not suppost to go before the children."
They say it doesn't really get easier, you just learn to deal with the realization. That even with age, it still is hard to lose a parent. But what people don't understand, is that they got there parents wisdom and advice when they got married, or had kids, or even just have them thourgh there college years. And I know some people are a lot worse than me. And also...maybee because Ia m hurting so bad is the reason I am venting so. But I need her here now.
There is a saying "first you work...then you play". when do I get to play. I know am wining. But I don't care. I am mentally tired and want to relax. I am tired of being people door mat, and i am gonna use what advice my mother did leave me with. "do what makes carey lynn happy"
To the people I thought I knew and I still love.I thank you for being there when my mother died, but what happened when i needed you before that. It took my mother's death for you to visit me. It took my mothers death for people to stop all these arguments and disputes with one another. It took my mother's death to realize how precious everyone's time on earth is with their friends and family.
Wake up people. You should of been thinking abotu this before hand. Why does it take someone dying to make you realize the wrong in your life. I will leave now, because I am extremely mad at others, and upset. But I will say one more thing. If you don't hardly know me and you are reading this journal entry. I hoep you learn form the mistakes that people are making in my life. And for the people that do know me...if you didn't offer or show your love before she ided...then why do it now.
I know my mom and I had ou differences. Heck! We couldn't even live together because we fought all the time. But I would take back it all, and have even another fight, just to hear her voice again. I loved her so dearly.
It is gonna be hard to not have her there to help me along the way. I really will need her advice inthe future. I even need it now. Not only am I trying to figure out how to take care of myself on my own, I am tryign to figure out how to take care of my grand parents. They are worse than me. It breaks my heart to hear my grandma keep repeating..."my children are not suppost to go before the children."
They say it doesn't really get easier, you just learn to deal with the realization. That even with age, it still is hard to lose a parent. But what people don't understand, is that they got there parents wisdom and advice when they got married, or had kids, or even just have them thourgh there college years. And I know some people are a lot worse than me. And also...maybee because Ia m hurting so bad is the reason I am venting so. But I need her here now.
There is a saying "first you work...then you play". when do I get to play. I know am wining. But I don't care. I am mentally tired and want to relax. I am tired of being people door mat, and i am gonna use what advice my mother did leave me with. "do what makes carey lynn happy"
To the people I thought I knew and I still love.I thank you for being there when my mother died, but what happened when i needed you before that. It took my mother's death for you to visit me. It took my mothers death for people to stop all these arguments and disputes with one another. It took my mother's death to realize how precious everyone's time on earth is with their friends and family.
Wake up people. You should of been thinking abotu this before hand. Why does it take someone dying to make you realize the wrong in your life. I will leave now, because I am extremely mad at others, and upset. But I will say one more thing. If you don't hardly know me and you are reading this journal entry. I hoep you learn form the mistakes that people are making in my life. And for the people that do know me...if you didn't offer or show your love before she ided...then why do it now.