You're so lovely

[caressmedown101]

I hate fighting with him. I don't mean to fight with him so much, and so bad. I've tried coming to him calmly. Or just not bringing it up. Like whenever he tells me he's going to go hang out with someone and I had just called to tell him I could come out, but I rarely tell him. Why? Because I want him to see his friends. I dont want to be the girlfriend to take him away from his friends. I want him to pick me over his friends sometimes.. but I want him to do it because he wants to, not because I got mad at him. I don't think he'll ever understand that. I wouldnt have even cared really, but its like.. he's leaving soon, and I want to see him as much as possible before then because I know how hard its going to be for me. Yes, I know, two weeks. Not a big deal... but for me? Yeah... huge deal. I just know I'm going to worry the whole time about whats he's doing and everything. I told becca that she was going to have to entertain me a lot because I was gonna go nuts.

I get off probation tomorrow. YEAH!!! Finally. Bullshit is over.

I love Mike, and I'm sorry for making it so hard, and for getting him so mad, and for being such a fuck up at times, and I'm sorry that I always over react, and I'm sorry that it seems like I don't care, and I'm sorry that I get so hopeless... I'm sorry...