Who knew it would be so hard?

[carebear1128]

So I'm sitting here looking for flights back to Brasil, wondering what in the world I'm doing here, if that was all just this amazing, surreal dream. Because it feels like it. Was I really in Brasil just 6 weeks ago? Has it already been that long? When I left, I was ready to leave. Sure, I was sad. But it was the right time. And I have been so happy to be back in Berkeley. The show is very, very stressful and incredibly hard. But I do love it. But all of a sudden, I just want to go back. I miss Rico so bad. How can you miss someone you barely know though? It wasn't so bad when we talked every day, but today I talked to his best friend and I haven't talked to Rico in ages. Sorry, this isn't about a guy. I'm really not at that sort of stage in my life. It's all the amazing people I met there. It's just he was one of the later ones who made a big impact on me, clearly. It's about all the places. All the discussions. I always remember that night on the balcony in Floripa, just talking about everything. My Portuguese teacher told me I'm too advanced to take Portuguese class, but there I was always learning something new, constantly learning a new expression or hand gesture or something. Always doing something new. Even when I was sick, it was such an adventure. Don't get me wrong, I NEVER want to be sick like that again. Recommendation to all: Skip the parasites. It's that much harder that I can't talk to anyone. We're all in different time zones. In different lives. It was as if the world stopped for a moment and let all of that mush together. All the boundaries collapsed as people from all over the world, all different ways of life, became best friends. When else would I have met a Sirke? A Hanah? An Eduardo? A Devery? An Elisabetta? Everyone. I won't keep listing names. There are too many. And it's probably because I am so tired and it's late that it hurts so bad. In the morning, when I get to see Ilana again, hopefully it'll all look better.
Te amo con todo mi corazon! Te amo com todo meu coracao!
BEIJINHOS!