Well why not?
I guess I can do an update after forever. If I were to even start about my trip, it would never end. But at the same time, there would be nothing to say. Words don't exist to describe what I went through. For those of you about to embark on your study abroad adventures, you'll understand soon. For those of you getting back, you know exactly what I mean.
I found this person who I never knew existed, someone who loved the big crowds swallowing me up, being the craziest dancer out there, brushing guys off because they weren't what I wanted, going up to people and introducing myself first, and loving myself so much. One of the first times when I got really sick, me and Elisabetta made a pact to do something new every day, even if it was just to try a new flavor of juice at one of the gazillion juice stands EVERYWHERE. Seriously, we would look at a name and be like, um, what does that fruit even look like? And doing something new every day of your life is the most exhilirating feeling there is. I wish I was better at words and could explain this all. And another crazy thing I never thought would happen.
There is nothing like being away to make you appreciate exactly what you have at home. I never ever thought I would come to defend the US, to say that there is a lot of stuff our country has that doesn't exist elsewhere. Women may think they're unequal, but you don't even have an idea of what it can be like. Try going to a culture where it is acceptable for a man to grab you and kiss you, because he wants to. And for you to protest or say no means nothing. You're a woman, of course you want to make him happy. Watch the women waiting hand and foot on their men, asking meekly for money. Look at the blatant inequality where blacks do not go past a certain undrawn line on the beach, staying back by the street to provide chairs and drinks. Watch the 80-year-old white woman supported on both sides by her caretakers in her designer clothes. Look at the black woman who could be her twin, dragging her bag of Globo biscoitos around the beach. The favelas, in theory the worst place to be, but even though they're poor and you pass a man with a machine gun to get in, they are happy. There is a community. People aren't scared to leave their houses. Cross the border to richville and you notice the fences and guards and how people walk around, looking in every direction, trying to guess where the assault will come from. Who is really trapped? Not that I would ever say the favelas are good places, they are run by drug lords and people live in fear of the next war. The utter violence. According to UN classifications, Brasil, and more specifically Rio, is in the middle of a civil war. The unfettered crime and the police's complete involvement in it.
But as much as there were bad things, there was the complete wonder and beauty of the place. Rio de Janeiro is one of the most beautiful places on earth. Even the people are gorgeous. And so friendly. Before I went, I was warned about the complete openness of Brasilians, how they'll just kiss you (on the cheek!) even if they don't know you and be so touchy. But I would meet people and we'd be like best friends within minutes. I would run into them all over the city and it was like seeing your best friend from pre-k or something. I made friends unlike any others. There is something about expressing your thoughts in another language, in finding new words you never knew existed, that allows you to show a very different side of yourself.
And of course there were the guys. Gaining complete confidence in all their advances. But learning to judge and value myself based on me. Saying no when I didn't want it, until finally I got to say yes to a wonderful guy.
Ok, this is long and cryptic and doesn't help say what I want to. Just, study abroad is fantastic and wonderful. Even with all the parasites and infections and ridiculous illnesses, I would do it again in a minute.
Beijos meus queridos!
I found this person who I never knew existed, someone who loved the big crowds swallowing me up, being the craziest dancer out there, brushing guys off because they weren't what I wanted, going up to people and introducing myself first, and loving myself so much. One of the first times when I got really sick, me and Elisabetta made a pact to do something new every day, even if it was just to try a new flavor of juice at one of the gazillion juice stands EVERYWHERE. Seriously, we would look at a name and be like, um, what does that fruit even look like? And doing something new every day of your life is the most exhilirating feeling there is. I wish I was better at words and could explain this all. And another crazy thing I never thought would happen.
There is nothing like being away to make you appreciate exactly what you have at home. I never ever thought I would come to defend the US, to say that there is a lot of stuff our country has that doesn't exist elsewhere. Women may think they're unequal, but you don't even have an idea of what it can be like. Try going to a culture where it is acceptable for a man to grab you and kiss you, because he wants to. And for you to protest or say no means nothing. You're a woman, of course you want to make him happy. Watch the women waiting hand and foot on their men, asking meekly for money. Look at the blatant inequality where blacks do not go past a certain undrawn line on the beach, staying back by the street to provide chairs and drinks. Watch the 80-year-old white woman supported on both sides by her caretakers in her designer clothes. Look at the black woman who could be her twin, dragging her bag of Globo biscoitos around the beach. The favelas, in theory the worst place to be, but even though they're poor and you pass a man with a machine gun to get in, they are happy. There is a community. People aren't scared to leave their houses. Cross the border to richville and you notice the fences and guards and how people walk around, looking in every direction, trying to guess where the assault will come from. Who is really trapped? Not that I would ever say the favelas are good places, they are run by drug lords and people live in fear of the next war. The utter violence. According to UN classifications, Brasil, and more specifically Rio, is in the middle of a civil war. The unfettered crime and the police's complete involvement in it.
But as much as there were bad things, there was the complete wonder and beauty of the place. Rio de Janeiro is one of the most beautiful places on earth. Even the people are gorgeous. And so friendly. Before I went, I was warned about the complete openness of Brasilians, how they'll just kiss you (on the cheek!) even if they don't know you and be so touchy. But I would meet people and we'd be like best friends within minutes. I would run into them all over the city and it was like seeing your best friend from pre-k or something. I made friends unlike any others. There is something about expressing your thoughts in another language, in finding new words you never knew existed, that allows you to show a very different side of yourself.
And of course there were the guys. Gaining complete confidence in all their advances. But learning to judge and value myself based on me. Saying no when I didn't want it, until finally I got to say yes to a wonderful guy.
Ok, this is long and cryptic and doesn't help say what I want to. Just, study abroad is fantastic and wonderful. Even with all the parasites and infections and ridiculous illnesses, I would do it again in a minute.
Beijos meus queridos!