The Winter Manor 21/?
Title: The Winter Manor
Author: Cards
Rating: R
Summery: After the events of the Christmas, there is Easter, and a tentative new start to something that neither boy can name.
Warnings: bit of boy sexing and dealing with issues of abuse.
Disclaimer: ... dude its a historical fiction au rps story. how could it be true.
Jensen smiles slightly as Jared curled up closer to him, holding him tight, it was relaxing even though his own body was un-satiated the feeling of being held was almost better, of Jared pulling him closer and suddenly he gasped as Jared slid his leg between his own. Jared’s lips slid against his and pulls him closer, Jensen is weak at the thought that this is happening, because Jared is sliding, providing friction he so desperately needs. He curls his body up to get a better angle and his head rests in Jared’s shoulder.
He can feel his body getting closer to completion and he’s whimpering, moaning and Jared is whispering into his ear, closer to pants but it doesn’t matter because they’re soft whispers and gentle and Jared is holding him close. “Oh god” Jensen whimpers as his body tightens and he opens his eyes, meeting Jared’s for the first time. Jared is looking down at him and its different from how anyone’s ever looked at him before, so he doesn’t regret it as he can feel himself release.
Jared looks down at him, blushing “Was that okay… did I do it right?”
Jensen blinked “I don’t know” He said softly, no one had ever done that for him, had made sure he reached completion after they had, it had always been something that happened because Jensen made it, or a pure accident. “I think so”.
Jared grinned, full of pride “wait, you think so?” He asked, sliding his leg against Jensen again, teasing, his head dropped so he looked down at him.
“It was good.” Jensen says and he can feel something warm in the bottom of his stomach as Jared rolls off top of him and instead curls into his side.
“Can you stay here?” Jared asks softly, and Jensen realizes he really is asking, not demanding it, his arms aren’t holding him down.
“I really should go” Jensen says, “I’ll pull out another pair of leggings for you before I go” he blushes as Jared grins and kisses him.
“You sure you have to?” Jared asked sitting up, the pain in his body gone. “You could just wake up early”
Jensen shook his head “tomorrow morning is Easter, lots of baking” He says, sliding out of bed and going to get Jared another pair of leggings to sleep in, Jared pulled off the pair he had on under the covers, handing them to Jensen delicately, blushing. “I’ll have these washed, no problem” He said, putting them down and looking for his shirt and vest. Jared pouted slightly and curled up in bed, trying to seem as though he wasn’t watching Jensen get dressed.
Jensen smiled buttoning the shirt up and throwing his vest on, surprised as Jared reached out with a long arm and pulled him down for a kiss. It was light, holding him down for a second, smiling up at him. “Thank you” Jared said softly, lacing his fingers through Jensen’s.
“Thank you” Jensen replied, smiling stupidly as he stood up, gathering Jared’s leggings up and grabbing at the oil, blushing as he did so, hoping Jared wouldn’t see him do so. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”
“Promise?” Jared asked sleepily, curling into his pillow, face smushed up into the down and satin cover.
“Yes” Jensen said, looking down at him, wanting nothing more then to curl up into bed with the other boy. He tore himself away from the sight and slid out the door. He smiled stupidly, standing outside and leaning against the door. He looked quickly down the hall, out of habit, even though everyone knew he was supposed to be attending to Jared. He looked down, his clothing was rumpled and he could feel that his hair was a mess. For the first time though, he was happy about it. He hadn’t been kicked out, nor was his throat raw of walking delicately. He’d been asked to stay, he’d been held and had been just held.
He smiled, straightening his hair and shirt, walking down the spiral stairs down to the serving quarters, putting Jared’s leggings into the washing pile, knowing he’d have to put his in as well. He walked along the stone floors, looking in to the kitchen, only Joshua and Sophia were there, kissing in the firelight. Jensen moved forward into his room. Colby stirred, sitting up.
“Where were you?” He asked, turning over to look at Jensen.
“Young Master Padalecki needed me.” Jensen said softly “go back to sleep.”
Colby blinked looking at him, curling back up in his bed, Jensen waited a few moments before stripping is clothes of and curling into his night gown. He slid into his bed grinning stupidly and curling up into his pillow.
The next morning was busy, Jensen figured he had gotten about three hours of sleep, before being roused out of bed to help his mother in the kitchen. He spent more time then he cared to think about making sugar icing for the treats, while his sister was beating eggs to paste the Easter buns with he was dripping the sugar over the sweets. The morning was hurried and Jensen was pushed almost to his limits, running around, trying to keep his own work going as well as helping the hall boys with the paring of the fruit and listening to his sister talk about the handsome coachmen.
He smiled and shook his head as she painted the crossed buns, putting them into the oven. “He’s just sweet, and he’s so…” She smiles, tilting her head “dashing.”
Jensen shakes his head laughing at his little sister, who tried so hard to be tough like their mama, sounding like she’s a character in a romance novel. “Oh shut up” Mackenzie blushes and shakes her head, looking down just in time to stop a large dollop of the eggs from falling all over the table. She looked at it, scandalized as Jensen smiled.
He would admit it if asked, he was hiding, the warmth of the kitchen protecting him from having to go upstairs to speak with Jared, that he was terrified of seeing the boy in the daylight, to see if when he went up, there was none of the ease of before and if Jared would think differently of him. So instead the kitchen, teasing his little sister was safe, was comforting.
“Mackenzie, this family is already besotted enough, Joshua has taken that up for all of us.” He smiled “the both of us will have no romance ever.” He realized as he said it that it could quite possibly be the worst thing ever to tell a fifteen year old girl, who was besotted with a coachman.
“You don’t really think that Jensen, do you?” She asked, eyes wide. “That I’ll never have romance?” She looked down at the Easter buns, and Jensen knew what she was seeing, herself at the age of 60, still doing this. Creating delicacies for another family, and managing another’s house hold, watching some one else’s’ children grow up and never experiencing it for herself. He could almost hear her heart breaking at the thought, he knew his had. The moment he’d realized that he wouldn’t be marrying a pretty girl, that he’d forever be an outcast.
He put the icing down, and wrapped his arms around her holding her tight “No, you’ll find a handsome man, and he’ll ask you to marry him, and you’ll move far away from here and I’ll come and dote on your children.” He said, pressing a kiss to the apple of her cheek. “And make you bake for me.” He added laughing as she twisted out of his grip.
“You’ll have to marry a pretty girl to get anyone to bake for you!” Mackenzie laughs painting the buns with butter and popping them into the oven. She’s still laughing as she turns and sees Jared standing sheepishly in the corner. She almost drops the bowl “Young Master Padalecki! She exclaims, the kitchen is full of servants, most of them startled by the young master’s presence, pausing and waiting for him to say something to show some indication of the reason for his presence down in the kitchens.
The way that no one seems to welcome him in shows Jared how much he’s grown, he had woken early, as he was in the habit of doing, and he decided to dress himself, to go downstairs and see Jensen, to do something. He wanted to have Jensen all to himself, and he may have not thought this through properly as he was standing in the kitchen, tucked into a corner, no little sister to provide a reason, or even being young enough that bothering the servants was normal. Instead he was standing there, while everyone looked at him.
“Carry on” He said meekly, looking down and blushing. Jensen moved over easily, concern on his face.
“Did you need something Sir?” He asked licking his lips, and Jared wanted nothing more then to kiss him, to cradle his head between his own too large hands and feel anywhere near as elegant and right as he had the night before.
Jared shook his head, then realized he actually needed a reason to be down there, that curiosity wasn’t enough this time. “Sorry, carry on.” He dropped his head and turned running up the spiral stair case and bursting out onto the main floor, nearly running up to the elaborate stair cases, the maids turning and looking at him queerly for just an instance before then turn back to their work.
He runs into his room, looking around at his bed, which he knows still smells of him and Jensen, he’d sat for a few moments just smelling it earlier. He sits as far away from his bed as possible, blushing horribly, even though no one else knows about why he would stand there and gape at Jensen.
He curled up in a chair, and even though his limbs no longer hurt there was an ache that settled in over his body. He knew he would have to get up, get out of the chair, and probably have Jensen dress him for church as well as breakfast, and then he’d have to listen to the sermon, and his mother would want him to dine at supper with them as well. All he wanted was time to process, time to take it all in.
This isn’t his home, and the fact he feel so at ease in it when Jensen is by his side worries him, he knows that this isn’t truly his home that when he grows older he’ll have to make his own place in the world. He always has known, he’s seen Jeffery being treated differently and told that it was different, that Jeffery was the heir. It wasn’t that his parents didn’t care, it was just that Jeffery was the be all end all. He couldn’t afford to get attached to this house, and Jensen made it seem so easy.
Jensen with his love of every nook and cranny, with how at ease he was. It was a treat to see Jensen when he relaxed even just for a second. When the fluid motions of his body were simply choice, and there was no reason for them. Jared blushed, remembering the way Jensen had touched him the night before, how easy it had been for the other man to just touch him, how it had felt when he had. Jared blushed deeper burying his head in his knees.
“Sir?” He looked up to see Jensen standing by the door, and he was almost relived to see that the other boy’s face was tentative, that Jensen wasn’t just easy about this, that it wasn’t habit.
“Jensen!” Jared cursed his voice as it cracked high and he nearly tucked his head back into his knees and hid from everything.
Jensen smiled, his face timid “Hello.” He said softly, “I brought you an iced bun.” He said lamely, motioning with his hands and the tray in them. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here to dress you” he said, looking down “I should have been up sooner.”
“Its alright.” Jared said softly and he felt like a child for a second, even though he knew Jensen was looking to him for some reason to stay for something, he didn’t know if he could do it.
Jensen stood there, awkwardly and Jared knew, that he was at the cause of that. He was the reason Jensen was awkwardly standing, gulping and help in pause between what he knew to do and what he did.
“I’m sorry” Jared said softly “I shouldn’t have done that last night” he doesn’t know why he says it, but he it might make Jensen less, worried.
Instead Jensen tightens up even more turning his face and body away from Jared, he places the tray down and it’s almost as though he was expecting more from the other boy. Jared gulped “I mean, I…” He paused licking his lips. He didn’t expect it to be awkward, it had been perfect last night, with Jensen under him, and kissing him. Even just the way he’d taken his hand and rubbed it. His breath caught as he remembered the shy way that Jensen had undone his own shirt, how that skin had felt under his hands.
Jensen looked about ready to bolt, his professional demeanor like a tether, holding him there. “I’m sorry.” Jensen said, gulping and looking up at Jared “I’ll tell my father to assign someone else to your care.” He turned, and bit the inside of his lip. He knew he shouldn’t have, shouldn’t put anything on Jared, or make himself think that something would happen with it. He shouldn’t have allowed himself to get carried away.
Jared uncurled and nearly fell out of his chair “I didn’t mean that!” he said, eyes wide “I meant.” He bit his lip as Jensen turned back to him. “I don’t know what I meant to say.” He said it softly “I liked it” he bit his lip “I liked it a lot.” He says it easily, licking his lips, unsure what else to say.
Jensen seems to take that as a sign of something, walking forward almost mechanically and bending down onto his knees. Jared stands there confused as Jensen starts to undo his trousers, his breath is shakey, and he isn’t looking at Jared at all.
Jensen’s lips press just under his naval, and there is something tender in it, which distances his body from his lips, and it confuses Jared, so he just steps back, out of the loose hold Jensen has on his hips.
“Oh god,” Jensen looks up at him, and he actually does fall backwards, his legs splayed out, hands supporting him from falling over entirely. “Oh god, oh god, oh god.” He closes his eyes and his lips thin out.
And all Jared can think to do is sit down across from him and gently lean forward and press a kiss to those tightened lips. Because he thinks that Jensen wants him, hopes he does, and he doesn’t have the words to figure out what to say.
Author’s notes: The fluff went away. It wasn’t supposed to, but this whole Chapter took so freaking long (my dad got engaged two days after I posted the last one which made me go all oh fuck not this again. Then I had finals, and then I moved to a new state halfway across the country (about 2,000 miles) and have summer classes. So I had no creativity and was swamped) Hopefully the next chapter won’t be this long a wait.
In other news: this story is over a year old!! OMG I am excited!
Author: Cards
Rating: R
Summery: After the events of the Christmas, there is Easter, and a tentative new start to something that neither boy can name.
Warnings: bit of boy sexing and dealing with issues of abuse.
Disclaimer: ... dude its a historical fiction au rps story. how could it be true.
Jensen smiles slightly as Jared curled up closer to him, holding him tight, it was relaxing even though his own body was un-satiated the feeling of being held was almost better, of Jared pulling him closer and suddenly he gasped as Jared slid his leg between his own. Jared’s lips slid against his and pulls him closer, Jensen is weak at the thought that this is happening, because Jared is sliding, providing friction he so desperately needs. He curls his body up to get a better angle and his head rests in Jared’s shoulder.
He can feel his body getting closer to completion and he’s whimpering, moaning and Jared is whispering into his ear, closer to pants but it doesn’t matter because they’re soft whispers and gentle and Jared is holding him close. “Oh god” Jensen whimpers as his body tightens and he opens his eyes, meeting Jared’s for the first time. Jared is looking down at him and its different from how anyone’s ever looked at him before, so he doesn’t regret it as he can feel himself release.
Jared looks down at him, blushing “Was that okay… did I do it right?”
Jensen blinked “I don’t know” He said softly, no one had ever done that for him, had made sure he reached completion after they had, it had always been something that happened because Jensen made it, or a pure accident. “I think so”.
Jared grinned, full of pride “wait, you think so?” He asked, sliding his leg against Jensen again, teasing, his head dropped so he looked down at him.
“It was good.” Jensen says and he can feel something warm in the bottom of his stomach as Jared rolls off top of him and instead curls into his side.
“Can you stay here?” Jared asks softly, and Jensen realizes he really is asking, not demanding it, his arms aren’t holding him down.
“I really should go” Jensen says, “I’ll pull out another pair of leggings for you before I go” he blushes as Jared grins and kisses him.
“You sure you have to?” Jared asked sitting up, the pain in his body gone. “You could just wake up early”
Jensen shook his head “tomorrow morning is Easter, lots of baking” He says, sliding out of bed and going to get Jared another pair of leggings to sleep in, Jared pulled off the pair he had on under the covers, handing them to Jensen delicately, blushing. “I’ll have these washed, no problem” He said, putting them down and looking for his shirt and vest. Jared pouted slightly and curled up in bed, trying to seem as though he wasn’t watching Jensen get dressed.
Jensen smiled buttoning the shirt up and throwing his vest on, surprised as Jared reached out with a long arm and pulled him down for a kiss. It was light, holding him down for a second, smiling up at him. “Thank you” Jared said softly, lacing his fingers through Jensen’s.
“Thank you” Jensen replied, smiling stupidly as he stood up, gathering Jared’s leggings up and grabbing at the oil, blushing as he did so, hoping Jared wouldn’t see him do so. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”
“Promise?” Jared asked sleepily, curling into his pillow, face smushed up into the down and satin cover.
“Yes” Jensen said, looking down at him, wanting nothing more then to curl up into bed with the other boy. He tore himself away from the sight and slid out the door. He smiled stupidly, standing outside and leaning against the door. He looked quickly down the hall, out of habit, even though everyone knew he was supposed to be attending to Jared. He looked down, his clothing was rumpled and he could feel that his hair was a mess. For the first time though, he was happy about it. He hadn’t been kicked out, nor was his throat raw of walking delicately. He’d been asked to stay, he’d been held and had been just held.
He smiled, straightening his hair and shirt, walking down the spiral stairs down to the serving quarters, putting Jared’s leggings into the washing pile, knowing he’d have to put his in as well. He walked along the stone floors, looking in to the kitchen, only Joshua and Sophia were there, kissing in the firelight. Jensen moved forward into his room. Colby stirred, sitting up.
“Where were you?” He asked, turning over to look at Jensen.
“Young Master Padalecki needed me.” Jensen said softly “go back to sleep.”
Colby blinked looking at him, curling back up in his bed, Jensen waited a few moments before stripping is clothes of and curling into his night gown. He slid into his bed grinning stupidly and curling up into his pillow.
The next morning was busy, Jensen figured he had gotten about three hours of sleep, before being roused out of bed to help his mother in the kitchen. He spent more time then he cared to think about making sugar icing for the treats, while his sister was beating eggs to paste the Easter buns with he was dripping the sugar over the sweets. The morning was hurried and Jensen was pushed almost to his limits, running around, trying to keep his own work going as well as helping the hall boys with the paring of the fruit and listening to his sister talk about the handsome coachmen.
He smiled and shook his head as she painted the crossed buns, putting them into the oven. “He’s just sweet, and he’s so…” She smiles, tilting her head “dashing.”
Jensen shakes his head laughing at his little sister, who tried so hard to be tough like their mama, sounding like she’s a character in a romance novel. “Oh shut up” Mackenzie blushes and shakes her head, looking down just in time to stop a large dollop of the eggs from falling all over the table. She looked at it, scandalized as Jensen smiled.
He would admit it if asked, he was hiding, the warmth of the kitchen protecting him from having to go upstairs to speak with Jared, that he was terrified of seeing the boy in the daylight, to see if when he went up, there was none of the ease of before and if Jared would think differently of him. So instead the kitchen, teasing his little sister was safe, was comforting.
“Mackenzie, this family is already besotted enough, Joshua has taken that up for all of us.” He smiled “the both of us will have no romance ever.” He realized as he said it that it could quite possibly be the worst thing ever to tell a fifteen year old girl, who was besotted with a coachman.
“You don’t really think that Jensen, do you?” She asked, eyes wide. “That I’ll never have romance?” She looked down at the Easter buns, and Jensen knew what she was seeing, herself at the age of 60, still doing this. Creating delicacies for another family, and managing another’s house hold, watching some one else’s’ children grow up and never experiencing it for herself. He could almost hear her heart breaking at the thought, he knew his had. The moment he’d realized that he wouldn’t be marrying a pretty girl, that he’d forever be an outcast.
He put the icing down, and wrapped his arms around her holding her tight “No, you’ll find a handsome man, and he’ll ask you to marry him, and you’ll move far away from here and I’ll come and dote on your children.” He said, pressing a kiss to the apple of her cheek. “And make you bake for me.” He added laughing as she twisted out of his grip.
“You’ll have to marry a pretty girl to get anyone to bake for you!” Mackenzie laughs painting the buns with butter and popping them into the oven. She’s still laughing as she turns and sees Jared standing sheepishly in the corner. She almost drops the bowl “Young Master Padalecki! She exclaims, the kitchen is full of servants, most of them startled by the young master’s presence, pausing and waiting for him to say something to show some indication of the reason for his presence down in the kitchens.
The way that no one seems to welcome him in shows Jared how much he’s grown, he had woken early, as he was in the habit of doing, and he decided to dress himself, to go downstairs and see Jensen, to do something. He wanted to have Jensen all to himself, and he may have not thought this through properly as he was standing in the kitchen, tucked into a corner, no little sister to provide a reason, or even being young enough that bothering the servants was normal. Instead he was standing there, while everyone looked at him.
“Carry on” He said meekly, looking down and blushing. Jensen moved over easily, concern on his face.
“Did you need something Sir?” He asked licking his lips, and Jared wanted nothing more then to kiss him, to cradle his head between his own too large hands and feel anywhere near as elegant and right as he had the night before.
Jared shook his head, then realized he actually needed a reason to be down there, that curiosity wasn’t enough this time. “Sorry, carry on.” He dropped his head and turned running up the spiral stair case and bursting out onto the main floor, nearly running up to the elaborate stair cases, the maids turning and looking at him queerly for just an instance before then turn back to their work.
He runs into his room, looking around at his bed, which he knows still smells of him and Jensen, he’d sat for a few moments just smelling it earlier. He sits as far away from his bed as possible, blushing horribly, even though no one else knows about why he would stand there and gape at Jensen.
He curled up in a chair, and even though his limbs no longer hurt there was an ache that settled in over his body. He knew he would have to get up, get out of the chair, and probably have Jensen dress him for church as well as breakfast, and then he’d have to listen to the sermon, and his mother would want him to dine at supper with them as well. All he wanted was time to process, time to take it all in.
This isn’t his home, and the fact he feel so at ease in it when Jensen is by his side worries him, he knows that this isn’t truly his home that when he grows older he’ll have to make his own place in the world. He always has known, he’s seen Jeffery being treated differently and told that it was different, that Jeffery was the heir. It wasn’t that his parents didn’t care, it was just that Jeffery was the be all end all. He couldn’t afford to get attached to this house, and Jensen made it seem so easy.
Jensen with his love of every nook and cranny, with how at ease he was. It was a treat to see Jensen when he relaxed even just for a second. When the fluid motions of his body were simply choice, and there was no reason for them. Jared blushed, remembering the way Jensen had touched him the night before, how easy it had been for the other man to just touch him, how it had felt when he had. Jared blushed deeper burying his head in his knees.
“Sir?” He looked up to see Jensen standing by the door, and he was almost relived to see that the other boy’s face was tentative, that Jensen wasn’t just easy about this, that it wasn’t habit.
“Jensen!” Jared cursed his voice as it cracked high and he nearly tucked his head back into his knees and hid from everything.
Jensen smiled, his face timid “Hello.” He said softly, “I brought you an iced bun.” He said lamely, motioning with his hands and the tray in them. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here to dress you” he said, looking down “I should have been up sooner.”
“Its alright.” Jared said softly and he felt like a child for a second, even though he knew Jensen was looking to him for some reason to stay for something, he didn’t know if he could do it.
Jensen stood there, awkwardly and Jared knew, that he was at the cause of that. He was the reason Jensen was awkwardly standing, gulping and help in pause between what he knew to do and what he did.
“I’m sorry” Jared said softly “I shouldn’t have done that last night” he doesn’t know why he says it, but he it might make Jensen less, worried.
Instead Jensen tightens up even more turning his face and body away from Jared, he places the tray down and it’s almost as though he was expecting more from the other boy. Jared gulped “I mean, I…” He paused licking his lips. He didn’t expect it to be awkward, it had been perfect last night, with Jensen under him, and kissing him. Even just the way he’d taken his hand and rubbed it. His breath caught as he remembered the shy way that Jensen had undone his own shirt, how that skin had felt under his hands.
Jensen looked about ready to bolt, his professional demeanor like a tether, holding him there. “I’m sorry.” Jensen said, gulping and looking up at Jared “I’ll tell my father to assign someone else to your care.” He turned, and bit the inside of his lip. He knew he shouldn’t have, shouldn’t put anything on Jared, or make himself think that something would happen with it. He shouldn’t have allowed himself to get carried away.
Jared uncurled and nearly fell out of his chair “I didn’t mean that!” he said, eyes wide “I meant.” He bit his lip as Jensen turned back to him. “I don’t know what I meant to say.” He said it softly “I liked it” he bit his lip “I liked it a lot.” He says it easily, licking his lips, unsure what else to say.
Jensen seems to take that as a sign of something, walking forward almost mechanically and bending down onto his knees. Jared stands there confused as Jensen starts to undo his trousers, his breath is shakey, and he isn’t looking at Jared at all.
Jensen’s lips press just under his naval, and there is something tender in it, which distances his body from his lips, and it confuses Jared, so he just steps back, out of the loose hold Jensen has on his hips.
“Oh god,” Jensen looks up at him, and he actually does fall backwards, his legs splayed out, hands supporting him from falling over entirely. “Oh god, oh god, oh god.” He closes his eyes and his lips thin out.
And all Jared can think to do is sit down across from him and gently lean forward and press a kiss to those tightened lips. Because he thinks that Jensen wants him, hopes he does, and he doesn’t have the words to figure out what to say.
Author’s notes: The fluff went away. It wasn’t supposed to, but this whole Chapter took so freaking long (my dad got engaged two days after I posted the last one which made me go all oh fuck not this again. Then I had finals, and then I moved to a new state halfway across the country (about 2,000 miles) and have summer classes. So I had no creativity and was swamped) Hopefully the next chapter won’t be this long a wait.
In other news: this story is over a year old!! OMG I am excited!