Everything.just.[].falls.[].apart.__
Calling him...
He had promised and he knew he couldn't take it back. Did he really want to? This wasn't Thief who he could just fuck around with mindlessly. This was Ryou and he was different. Perhaps that was the reason he'd even agreed to it in the first place. Jokingly, he had told Ryou some things that he was sure Ryou had taken too seriously. Stupidly, he had assumed Ryou would know he was kidding but...
That fucking innocence that usually left males at age 12 still lingered on Ryou. How was it even possible that someone could believe in a person so easily, even when that person didn't deserve their trust? In fact, Bakura was sure he didn't want it. It was hard for him to explain his own actions and maybe that was why he still kept going back to Ryou. He could feel it, that Ryou was already expecting something Bakura swore was not there. Ryou was looking to him as an odd friend. He had never been -good- with friends; not real ones.
When it came to friends, did he even have any? Sure he was with Thief so much but that was hardly a friendship; they dealed with each other because they had to, didn't they? In a bizarre way, they were drawn to each other and that was the only thing keeping them in check. As for Ryou-why was Ryou hanging on when he didn't have to? Would he ever understand?
He fumbled beneath his blankets, frowning deeply as he glanced to the cellphone in his hand. He felt so guilty somehow, calling Ryou when he was like this. Ryou wouldn't approve of it; he'd never mention it. Nor would he mention what he had said earlier wasn't true because...
He just didn't want to and he settled for that answer, not wanting to think about it further. He wanted to make Ryou happy and settle the horrible feeling in his stomach so he dialed the number before he could get the chance to back out. Who knew? Maybe Ryou would be out with his girl and therefore, too busy to answer.
Not likely, but it was worth hoping for. "Please don't answer, please don't answer," he hissed to himself. Yet, even if he felt a little odd calling Ryou, it wasn't as odd as the idea had seemed beforehand. But then, that was why he liked it so much.
He had promised and he knew he couldn't take it back. Did he really want to? This wasn't Thief who he could just fuck around with mindlessly. This was Ryou and he was different. Perhaps that was the reason he'd even agreed to it in the first place. Jokingly, he had told Ryou some things that he was sure Ryou had taken too seriously. Stupidly, he had assumed Ryou would know he was kidding but...
That fucking innocence that usually left males at age 12 still lingered on Ryou. How was it even possible that someone could believe in a person so easily, even when that person didn't deserve their trust? In fact, Bakura was sure he didn't want it. It was hard for him to explain his own actions and maybe that was why he still kept going back to Ryou. He could feel it, that Ryou was already expecting something Bakura swore was not there. Ryou was looking to him as an odd friend. He had never been -good- with friends; not real ones.
When it came to friends, did he even have any? Sure he was with Thief so much but that was hardly a friendship; they dealed with each other because they had to, didn't they? In a bizarre way, they were drawn to each other and that was the only thing keeping them in check. As for Ryou-why was Ryou hanging on when he didn't have to? Would he ever understand?
He fumbled beneath his blankets, frowning deeply as he glanced to the cellphone in his hand. He felt so guilty somehow, calling Ryou when he was like this. Ryou wouldn't approve of it; he'd never mention it. Nor would he mention what he had said earlier wasn't true because...
He just didn't want to and he settled for that answer, not wanting to think about it further. He wanted to make Ryou happy and settle the horrible feeling in his stomach so he dialed the number before he could get the chance to back out. Who knew? Maybe Ryou would be out with his girl and therefore, too busy to answer.
Not likely, but it was worth hoping for. "Please don't answer, please don't answer," he hissed to himself. Yet, even if he felt a little odd calling Ryou, it wasn't as odd as the idea had seemed beforehand. But then, that was why he liked it so much.