untouchable face
living in the wilderness for the holidays. im still trying to convince myself, but i need this. its been over a year since ive attempted to survive in this area of the west coast. its not the people, or the atomosphere, or the lifestyles that are challenging. or maybe thats exactly what makes it difficult. but for the first time in 5 months...it is a nice change to be alone for a little while. still getting used to it again, but it feels natural to lay alone...walk alone..be alone. i have time to think about all the things i need to and want to think about again. even though some things im deliberately avoiding for stupid reasons.
i miss him. but 2 weeks without him isnt as difficult as i thought it would be...i do wish to hold him again and let him touch my hair the way he always does..that makes me feel safe and calm. but im really ok. its hard sometimes talking to him on the phone rather in person right now though, because on the phone, you know you inevitably have to hang up. whether youre the first to hang up, or you wait to hear the other end click, it still tugs at the wrong seams when you know the conversation is over. i miss talking to his face, because he talks to me for hours...and it just never stops. only time.
good pictures and certain t-shirts make it easy to sleep though.
i wonder if i was a big star..if i would miss the earth.
things always seem different
when its the same.
now im done.
i miss him. but 2 weeks without him isnt as difficult as i thought it would be...i do wish to hold him again and let him touch my hair the way he always does..that makes me feel safe and calm. but im really ok. its hard sometimes talking to him on the phone rather in person right now though, because on the phone, you know you inevitably have to hang up. whether youre the first to hang up, or you wait to hear the other end click, it still tugs at the wrong seams when you know the conversation is over. i miss talking to his face, because he talks to me for hours...and it just never stops. only time.
good pictures and certain t-shirts make it easy to sleep though.
i wonder if i was a big star..if i would miss the earth.
things always seem different
when its the same.
now im done.