Call the Freakin Police Guys
We got a hair violation. This same shit happens all the frickin time!
I for some reason thought today it would be okay to put my hair in a ponytail cause its a frickin sauna in my house. Well, that's a big mistake. Seriously, who the hell do I think I am that I can do that? No, cause ponytails are just not carinit how you look. Unless the Hair Authority says its okay to wear a ponytail, that shit has to be submitted to harmful heat damage. You best flat iron that shit every day! Well otherwise your just a terrible person. Where do you even get off? You're 20 and you want to wear a ponytail today? You can't make your own decisions about your hair! Oh my God, can you even believe me? I must just not give a damn about how I look. When will I learn that hair is top priority over everything else in this world? Jesus Christ, something is wrong with me I guess.
This is gonna be a fun evening I can tell.
I for some reason thought today it would be okay to put my hair in a ponytail cause its a frickin sauna in my house. Well, that's a big mistake. Seriously, who the hell do I think I am that I can do that? No, cause ponytails are just not carinit how you look. Unless the Hair Authority says its okay to wear a ponytail, that shit has to be submitted to harmful heat damage. You best flat iron that shit every day! Well otherwise your just a terrible person. Where do you even get off? You're 20 and you want to wear a ponytail today? You can't make your own decisions about your hair! Oh my God, can you even believe me? I must just not give a damn about how I look. When will I learn that hair is top priority over everything else in this world? Jesus Christ, something is wrong with me I guess.
This is gonna be a fun evening I can tell.