Just something to get off my chest
On a more personal matter, I tend to feel very uncomfortable around guys. If I have no interest in them at all as anything more than friends I can talk casually with them, but if I like them at least a little bit, if they were to say even one thing to make me feel uncomfortable, I get nervous and fear they might not be as nice as I thought. That one thing can sometimes ruin it for me. I want to be in love and be married one day, but I just don't know how to get over my fear of intimacy when it comes to guys. I have a lot of good friends and I've become a very confident person, but whenever I talk to guys that I sort of like I just can't do it. Mostly because, I'm afraid that maybe they only like me for my body or are just using me. I tend to be very oblivious so I don't notice it if someone is being deceptive. And in a way it keeps me from being too trusting. So in a way, I kind of fear men, because I don't want to be used. I want to be with someone who genuinely thinks I'm a wonderful person and isn't just out for sex. This fear itself keeps me from starting a relationship with someone that I can talk to for a long time and generally have a good time with. I'm uncomfortable talking openly about sex, I think there is a time and place to discuss it but it doesn't have to be so casually. I think its a very personal thing and people should keep their 'sexcapades' to themselves. I don't need to hear about your experiences.
I want to be able to find that special someone, but its hard when on tv and in all sorts of media, just depicting men as sex addicts who like women for their bodies is a bit influential on me and it leads me to believe that's how most men are. I know its unfair to think this way, but its what I've been exposed too.
I think what I need most is to get over the thought that if a guy likes me its because of my body. It's hard not to think this way but I'll try. With my last boyfriend that I had he was always nice and texted me good morning and good night and asked me how I was feeling, but I just didn't feel comfortable the whole time. I didn't like to be touched at all (arm around the shoulder, etc. stuff like that) though that may be because I didn't really feel a connection with him at all.
Now that I've analyzed this problem, I'll do more to fix it. More confidence, less doubt. Things work out, if you just let em.