I've found that the more attention I pay to doing what I want, the less bored I am no matter where I am.
But, then, I've found that the more selfishly I live my life the happier I get in general, so maybe you shouldn't use my experience as a guide. Selfish is bad.
No, no, finding something to do comes after selfishness. When you don't follow your initial selfish urges, your brain says, "Hmmph. Well if you're not gonna do what I want, I won't give you any more ideas for things to do, and you'll be bored, bored, bored. That's what you get!"
You, I've noticed, avoid following your selfish urges because you don't want to hurt others. It's noble.
Or... I used to think it was noble, and I tried to pursue it myself, but now... now I'm less and less sure of that. How can something so noble lead to those moments of deep resentment at the person one is making sacrifices for, at the person one is trying not to hurt? How does something so "noble" lead to such anger, repressed and otherwise?
I wish I could say I do it to be noble. But really, I can't help it. And naturally, I can't help all the negativity that comes with it. I don't know... how do you get yourself to suddenly be selfish when you haven't been for so long?
I don't know... how do you get yourself to suddenly be selfish when you haven't been for so long?
M'self, I just did it. I got to a point where I knew it was something I needed to do, and then I jumped in the water and flailed around till I learned how to swim.
I hurt a couple of people really badly while I was learning and... uh... yeah. I didn't do a very good job of it at first. Being selfish nicely is a hard skill.
The freakishly/surprisingly hard part for me has been figuring out what I actually want. There've been more than a few times where I've thought I'd be fine with something, then realized a couple of days (or a few weeks) later that I wasn't. The small, timid voice that tells me how I feel about things takes a couple of days to sort out its emotions. Then I have to assert what I want. Sometimes I want more. Sometimes I want less. Sometimes this conflicts with what the other person is comfortable with or has come to expect from me. This all leads to... uh... Interpersonal Learning Experiences
( ... )
Oh yeah, and thinking sucks. Socrates was wrong.
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Yeah, I'm back in Edmonton now. And bored out of my mind. Hence, the thinking thing.
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But, then, I've found that the more selfishly I live my life the happier I get in general, so maybe you shouldn't use my experience as a guide. Selfish is bad.
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Yeah, that's true... selfishness does lead to happiness. Not very moral, but at least you're happy?
I have to find something I want to do first. This is so sad.
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You, I've noticed, avoid following your selfish urges because you don't want to hurt others. It's noble.
Or... I used to think it was noble, and I tried to pursue it myself, but now... now I'm less and less sure of that. How can something so noble lead to those moments of deep resentment at the person one is making sacrifices for, at the person one is trying not to hurt? How does something so "noble" lead to such anger, repressed and otherwise?
I'm not sure I've quite sorted it all out.
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I wish I could say I do it to be noble. But really, I can't help it. And naturally, I can't help all the negativity that comes with it. I don't know... how do you get yourself to suddenly be selfish when you haven't been for so long?
I don't think I've quite figured it out either.
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M'self, I just did it. I got to a point where I knew it was something I needed to do, and then I jumped in the water and flailed around till I learned how to swim.
I hurt a couple of people really badly while I was learning and... uh... yeah. I didn't do a very good job of it at first. Being selfish nicely is a hard skill.
The freakishly/surprisingly hard part for me has been figuring out what I actually want. There've been more than a few times where I've thought I'd be fine with something, then realized a couple of days (or a few weeks) later that I wasn't. The small, timid voice that tells me how I feel about things takes a couple of days to sort out its emotions. Then I have to assert what I want. Sometimes I want more. Sometimes I want less. Sometimes this conflicts with what the other person is comfortable with or has come to expect from me. This all leads to... uh... Interpersonal Learning Experiences ( ... )
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