The Ring Two
Next up is The Ring Two : Electric Boogaloo!
Rating: 2/10 stars
Wow! Just Wow! This movie was so pathetic, it put most of the other films to shame. Firstly, while this did have some supernatural-esque stuff, the movie was not a horror film. It was a drama... and a REALLY bad drama at that. To understand where this movie comes from, first wipe all notions of american horror films from your mind. I know you love their gore and their kick ass ability to make you jump... but just forget them. Now it's time to learn about Japanese horror films. Here's how to translate an American horror film into a japanese one: 1) remove the jump scares and just leave in visual horror, and 2) make an elaborate, complex plot. Now I know that the movie was Japanese origionally and made American for The Ring, but they brought in the origional Japanese director of Ringu (It's actually Ring, but for the sake of Americans who are scared of subtitles and might acidentally rent the wrong thing [stupid people] they changed it to Ringu by leaving in the "U" at the end just to make it sound exotic and to scare off stupid people). Now with the movie The Ring, they cut out a large amount of the plot of the Japanese film. I won't go into it here, but let's just say that the little creepy girl wasn't killed/knocked into the well by her mother in the Japanese version and that's just for starters. The Japanese director looked at how badly they F***ed up his movie, and said, "You know, I've got this other movie with a plot that may work here..." (the movie was Honogurai Mizu No Soko Kara for anyone who cares). The result was a crap fest.
The movie starts out with another lame segment of teenagers being involved with the tape. This time it was a guy showing it to a chick so she would die and he would live. What a great boyfriend! He leaves her in the room to watch as he talks to his friend. When he finishes talking to his friend, he notices that his floor is wet. No he didn't piss himself, but he was about to. The girl hit play on the tape, but never actually watched it. Smart girl... Dead boyfriend! After the lame intro we are subjected to watching the creepy boy Adrian and Rachel move into their new house. Boringness ensues. Rachel then finds out about the tape and destroys it. Adrian gets possessed by the creepy girl from the tape, Samara. For all of you out there who are freaked out by her, she did the voice of Lilo in Lilo and Stitch... Easier to sleep now? Great! Moving on... Adrian then has weird stuff happen as the girl takes over like getting attacked by a horde of deer and avoiding water. That's right Samara is scared of water. A supernatural entity of great malace is afraid of water. She's already DEAD damn it. Why is she scared of anything? The ghosts of dead people should have overcome their fears, I mean sweet Jesus. If you're afraid of heights, get killed from falling, and turn into an immortal ghost will you be scared of heights again? Didn't think so. Trudging forward... Adrian gets sent to the hospital for hypothermia. If you thought it was weird how much stuff could be accomplished in a day in the first the ring movie, you ain't seen nothing yet. Rachel goes to Samara's home town to try to find who was her origional mother. First, the orphanage, where she learns nothing. Then, the Morgan home, where she finds a book with the picture of the mother in it. Somehow or another, that leads her to an asylum where we meet Samara's mother. She's locked up because she tried to kill Samara in the fountain. She said her baby told her to kill it, and that Rachel should kill her son too, and to listen to the "voices". Rachel then goes home (all in one day) where she finds one of her work buddies dead because Adrian with Samara in control killed a doctor, walked home and killed the work buddy. What does all of tis mean when Rachel gets home? It means Samara wants a mother... I kid you not. The evil supernatural bitch wants a mom to love. Rachel goes to take a nap and in a dream sees Adrian who says to drown him. Out of story mode, and into analysis mode here. That would mean that two people have told their parents to kill them because of Samara, and therefore, the origional baby who grew up to be Samara was possessed as well. That's the only part of the movie that takes thought other than, "Why the hell did they feel the need to make this?" Moving on, Rachel drugs Adrian and puts him in the bathtub to drown him. Just as Samara/Adrian wakes up to ask why she's doing it, Rachel responds with a "I'm not your Fucking Mommy!" She submerges Adrian until Samara comes out of him. She then takes Adrian out and commands him to breathe. He lives... and then the TV comes on... and everyone in the audience screams, "AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! There's more!!! The movie's not over yet!!! DAMN!" Rachel sacrifices herself and enters the TV to be Samara's mom. Then reason hits and she climbs out of the well, and closes it shut on Samara. Then she follows Adrian's voice, leaps over a cliff, and comes out of the TV to hug Adrian. The End... Thank God! Total death count: three... pretty pathetic.
I actually have a serious moral problem with this film. Rachel goes out of her way to make Samara suffer. All Samara wants is a mommy to love her, and Rachel goes out of her way to deny her the love she craves. I actually felt sorry for Samara, but they single handidly went out of their way to hurt her when she just wanted some love and understanding. I mean sweet Jesus, Samara killed to be with Rachel so she could be loved. You don't get much more devoted than that.
Anyway, till I see another movie, take care.
Rating: 2/10 stars
Wow! Just Wow! This movie was so pathetic, it put most of the other films to shame. Firstly, while this did have some supernatural-esque stuff, the movie was not a horror film. It was a drama... and a REALLY bad drama at that. To understand where this movie comes from, first wipe all notions of american horror films from your mind. I know you love their gore and their kick ass ability to make you jump... but just forget them. Now it's time to learn about Japanese horror films. Here's how to translate an American horror film into a japanese one: 1) remove the jump scares and just leave in visual horror, and 2) make an elaborate, complex plot. Now I know that the movie was Japanese origionally and made American for The Ring, but they brought in the origional Japanese director of Ringu (It's actually Ring, but for the sake of Americans who are scared of subtitles and might acidentally rent the wrong thing [stupid people] they changed it to Ringu by leaving in the "U" at the end just to make it sound exotic and to scare off stupid people). Now with the movie The Ring, they cut out a large amount of the plot of the Japanese film. I won't go into it here, but let's just say that the little creepy girl wasn't killed/knocked into the well by her mother in the Japanese version and that's just for starters. The Japanese director looked at how badly they F***ed up his movie, and said, "You know, I've got this other movie with a plot that may work here..." (the movie was Honogurai Mizu No Soko Kara for anyone who cares). The result was a crap fest.
The movie starts out with another lame segment of teenagers being involved with the tape. This time it was a guy showing it to a chick so she would die and he would live. What a great boyfriend! He leaves her in the room to watch as he talks to his friend. When he finishes talking to his friend, he notices that his floor is wet. No he didn't piss himself, but he was about to. The girl hit play on the tape, but never actually watched it. Smart girl... Dead boyfriend! After the lame intro we are subjected to watching the creepy boy Adrian and Rachel move into their new house. Boringness ensues. Rachel then finds out about the tape and destroys it. Adrian gets possessed by the creepy girl from the tape, Samara. For all of you out there who are freaked out by her, she did the voice of Lilo in Lilo and Stitch... Easier to sleep now? Great! Moving on... Adrian then has weird stuff happen as the girl takes over like getting attacked by a horde of deer and avoiding water. That's right Samara is scared of water. A supernatural entity of great malace is afraid of water. She's already DEAD damn it. Why is she scared of anything? The ghosts of dead people should have overcome their fears, I mean sweet Jesus. If you're afraid of heights, get killed from falling, and turn into an immortal ghost will you be scared of heights again? Didn't think so. Trudging forward... Adrian gets sent to the hospital for hypothermia. If you thought it was weird how much stuff could be accomplished in a day in the first the ring movie, you ain't seen nothing yet. Rachel goes to Samara's home town to try to find who was her origional mother. First, the orphanage, where she learns nothing. Then, the Morgan home, where she finds a book with the picture of the mother in it. Somehow or another, that leads her to an asylum where we meet Samara's mother. She's locked up because she tried to kill Samara in the fountain. She said her baby told her to kill it, and that Rachel should kill her son too, and to listen to the "voices". Rachel then goes home (all in one day) where she finds one of her work buddies dead because Adrian with Samara in control killed a doctor, walked home and killed the work buddy. What does all of tis mean when Rachel gets home? It means Samara wants a mother... I kid you not. The evil supernatural bitch wants a mom to love. Rachel goes to take a nap and in a dream sees Adrian who says to drown him. Out of story mode, and into analysis mode here. That would mean that two people have told their parents to kill them because of Samara, and therefore, the origional baby who grew up to be Samara was possessed as well. That's the only part of the movie that takes thought other than, "Why the hell did they feel the need to make this?" Moving on, Rachel drugs Adrian and puts him in the bathtub to drown him. Just as Samara/Adrian wakes up to ask why she's doing it, Rachel responds with a "I'm not your Fucking Mommy!" She submerges Adrian until Samara comes out of him. She then takes Adrian out and commands him to breathe. He lives... and then the TV comes on... and everyone in the audience screams, "AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! There's more!!! The movie's not over yet!!! DAMN!" Rachel sacrifices herself and enters the TV to be Samara's mom. Then reason hits and she climbs out of the well, and closes it shut on Samara. Then she follows Adrian's voice, leaps over a cliff, and comes out of the TV to hug Adrian. The End... Thank God! Total death count: three... pretty pathetic.
I actually have a serious moral problem with this film. Rachel goes out of her way to make Samara suffer. All Samara wants is a mommy to love her, and Rachel goes out of her way to deny her the love she craves. I actually felt sorry for Samara, but they single handidly went out of their way to hurt her when she just wanted some love and understanding. I mean sweet Jesus, Samara killed to be with Rachel so she could be loved. You don't get much more devoted than that.
Anyway, till I see another movie, take care.