The only thing I take credit for is that which is marked by an asterisk...it all makes sense
It is assumed that independence is good and dependence is bad. "Don't you want to be attached to people, learn from them, get close, rely on friendship, get advice from someone you respect, be part of a community where people need each other, find intimacy with someone that is so delicious you can't live without it?" This is dependence, and like everything else, you can't have it without its shadows: its neediness, inferiority, submission, and loss of control.
*The innocence of children amazes me. They do not know what is socially acceptable and what is not socially acceptable. For example: if an adult stares at you, and you glance up at them, they will avert their eyes out of fear you will see them, or shame/embarrassment for having been caught looking at you. They will now be thinking about what you are thinking about them. Children on the other hand, will not look away if you glance up while they are staring at you. They will continue to stare until they have seen what they want to see and are satisfied. They don't have shame, and they don't worry about what you are now thinking about them for staring at you. They have no sense of what is "socially acceptable" or not and are the purest form of a human being you can have.
Most of us bring to everyday life a somewhat naive psychological attitude in our expectations that our lives and relationships will be simple. Love of the soul asks for some appreciation for its complexity. Often, care of the soul means not taking sides when there is a conflict at a deep level. It may be necessary to stretch the heart wide enough to embrace contradiction and paradox.
Care of the soul sees another reality altogether. It appreciates the mystery of human suffering and does not offer the illusion of a problem-free life. It sees every fall into ignorance and confusion as an opportunity to discover that the beast residing at the center of the labyrinth is also an angel. The uniqueness of a person is made up of the insane and the twisted as much as it is of the rational and normal.
The Greeks told the story of the minotaur, the bull-headed flesh-eating man who lived in the center of the labyrinth. He was a threatening beast, and yet his name was Asterion - Star. I often think of this paradox as I sit with someone with tears in her eyes, searching for some way to deal with a death, divorce, or a depression. It is a beast, this thing that stirs in the core of her being, but it is also the star of her innermost nature. We have to care for this suffering with extreme reverence so that, in our fear and anger at the beast, we do not overlook the star.
*The innocence of children amazes me. They do not know what is socially acceptable and what is not socially acceptable. For example: if an adult stares at you, and you glance up at them, they will avert their eyes out of fear you will see them, or shame/embarrassment for having been caught looking at you. They will now be thinking about what you are thinking about them. Children on the other hand, will not look away if you glance up while they are staring at you. They will continue to stare until they have seen what they want to see and are satisfied. They don't have shame, and they don't worry about what you are now thinking about them for staring at you. They have no sense of what is "socially acceptable" or not and are the purest form of a human being you can have.
Most of us bring to everyday life a somewhat naive psychological attitude in our expectations that our lives and relationships will be simple. Love of the soul asks for some appreciation for its complexity. Often, care of the soul means not taking sides when there is a conflict at a deep level. It may be necessary to stretch the heart wide enough to embrace contradiction and paradox.
Care of the soul sees another reality altogether. It appreciates the mystery of human suffering and does not offer the illusion of a problem-free life. It sees every fall into ignorance and confusion as an opportunity to discover that the beast residing at the center of the labyrinth is also an angel. The uniqueness of a person is made up of the insane and the twisted as much as it is of the rational and normal.
The Greeks told the story of the minotaur, the bull-headed flesh-eating man who lived in the center of the labyrinth. He was a threatening beast, and yet his name was Asterion - Star. I often think of this paradox as I sit with someone with tears in her eyes, searching for some way to deal with a death, divorce, or a depression. It is a beast, this thing that stirs in the core of her being, but it is also the star of her innermost nature. We have to care for this suffering with extreme reverence so that, in our fear and anger at the beast, we do not overlook the star.