Mile High Shopping
My Horoscope by Linda Black:
Your quick mind will help you figure out a great solution, today. You'll be a hero.
On my flight, I like checking out the Sky Mall magazine. For the holidays, I am strictly only going to buy their products. Better cross your fingers and hope you’re on my gift list because you may be getting one of the following:
Stealth Secret Sound Amplifier
“If a conventional hearing aid sounds like an embarrassment to you, try the Stealth Secret Sound Amplifier. It looks just like a cell phone ear adapter and works as a sound enhancer. Now you can enjoy the best of both worlds: a more youthful appearance and better hearing.”
I think a better selling point would be:
“Now you can stylishly hid your elderly loved one’s senility. People will now just assume they are talking to someone else instead of to themselves!”
Big Foot, the Garden Yeti Sculpture
“Garden Yeti will have guests doing a double-take as they admire your creative gardening style!”
Guests will do a double-take on how little taste you have.
The Pet’s Observation Porthole
“Spacing several portholes along the fence gives your pet an unfettered view of its surroundings and may help reduce barking or other undesirable behaviors.”
Isn’t the point of fences is to give neighbors privacy?
Horoscope in Hindsight:
Maybe being a hero for not buying this crap.