There's a headcanon they have that's really important to them, and it's a blanket for all their fics- it applies to any time they write that character. But it's really jarring for me for reasons I'm not sure I understand, and I never wanted to hurt them so I never brought it up and even tried to make it work so I could love it to. Then I mentioned a scene in their latest drop that dealt with it, and mentioned that it made me tear up to read (it's not a bad headcanon, just a personal jarring), and they're like "I'm never sure how you feel about it cause you never mention it" and instead of leaving it at "it's not my personal jam and you write so many things that are that I decide to focus on those instead", like a sensible and considerate person, I tried to explain what I felt, and I did a poor job of it and didn't listen to any of the times I told myself to stop talking, and then they got upset and I was like "well shit" and the whole "apologize and give them space" thing.
But then today they made a post saying they were still upset and made a whole "for *anyone* who reads this, blah blah blah, don't belittle headcanons, whatever" and it's like. I didn't belittle it???? Like I'm completely aware that I shoved both feet into my mouth, I can own that, but I didn't belittle them, or tell them they were wrong to have that headcanon. And idk it kinda hurts that they'd say I did, esp when it's a headcanon I tried so hard to make work for so long.
It sounds like you made a mistake, but didn't do anything terrible? Like you didn't set out to be hurtful, and they did ask how you felt. I get why you regret saying what you did, but it's definitely not anything to beat yourself up over.
And I can see why you're hurt. You explained your opinion in a sub-optimal but sincere way after they expressed the desire to know what's going on, and having them talk like you intentionally mocked something they enjoy has to suck.
I just. I kinda feel like they're two feet away from putting words in my mouth? And I'm sure we can talk about it eventually but I'm still trying to give them that space and until then anything I say will make things worse.
I'm trying to. (Seriously, this sounds like a moderate, wholly understandable mistake, not you doing anything horrible or being horrible.)
Yeah, they're definitely verging on claiming you said stuff you literally didn't. I can see why this would bother you. And for both your sakes, it's better to not talk until they're ready to listen and you're in a place where you feel like you aren't too stressed out.
But then today they made a post saying they were still upset and made a whole "for *anyone* who reads this, blah blah blah, don't belittle headcanons, whatever" and it's like. I didn't belittle it???? Like I'm completely aware that I shoved both feet into my mouth, I can own that, but I didn't belittle them, or tell them they were wrong to have that headcanon. And idk it kinda hurts that they'd say I did, esp when it's a headcanon I tried so hard to make work for so long.
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And I can see why you're hurt. You explained your opinion in a sub-optimal but sincere way after they expressed the desire to know what's going on, and having them talk like you intentionally mocked something they enjoy has to suck.
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I just. I kinda feel like they're two feet away from putting words in my mouth? And I'm sure we can talk about it eventually but I'm still trying to give them that space and until then anything I say will make things worse.
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Yeah, they're definitely verging on claiming you said stuff you literally didn't. I can see why this would bother you. And for both your sakes, it's better to not talk until they're ready to listen and you're in a place where you feel like you aren't too stressed out.
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