(no subject)
Because if I don't, I'll say
Sometimes that headcanon helps them deal with the shit in their own head, why is yours any more important?
Because I'll say, I didn't belittle or mock you or call your headcanon stupid, so why are you acting like I did?
Because I'll say, I spent six damn months trying to make that headcanon work for me because I knew how much it mattered to you and hated that I couldn't love it too.
Because I'll say, I've rewritten entire story arcs for you, abandoned fics I wanted to write for the fics you wanted to read, left behind ocs that meant the world to me because you admitted you hated their archetype, rewrote an oc that I sympathized with because your first reaction to me telling you about him was "stab him" and then "intent doesn't change the harm caused" when I pointed out that his actions had been accidental.
Because I'll say, you mean the world to me and seeing you happy is all I want, and it's tearing me up inside that you're upset with me but it also hurts that you'd vague about your headcanons being belittled when I tried so damn hard to love them.
Because this morning you vagued about adoring me and I can't even begin to understand why, after I hurt you so badly, you could still feel anything positive about me at all.
Because I can never say these things, because they'll make things worse, because I hate myself even more for feeling like a victim when I was wrong, because you have every right to be upset and I know you'll be okay with me again, maybe soon, and we can put this behind us.
Because I want you to like me again, and I'm afraid if I say anything right now you won't.
Sometimes that headcanon helps them deal with the shit in their own head, why is yours any more important?
Because I'll say, I didn't belittle or mock you or call your headcanon stupid, so why are you acting like I did?
Because I'll say, I spent six damn months trying to make that headcanon work for me because I knew how much it mattered to you and hated that I couldn't love it too.
Because I'll say, I've rewritten entire story arcs for you, abandoned fics I wanted to write for the fics you wanted to read, left behind ocs that meant the world to me because you admitted you hated their archetype, rewrote an oc that I sympathized with because your first reaction to me telling you about him was "stab him" and then "intent doesn't change the harm caused" when I pointed out that his actions had been accidental.
Because I'll say, you mean the world to me and seeing you happy is all I want, and it's tearing me up inside that you're upset with me but it also hurts that you'd vague about your headcanons being belittled when I tried so damn hard to love them.
Because this morning you vagued about adoring me and I can't even begin to understand why, after I hurt you so badly, you could still feel anything positive about me at all.
Because I can never say these things, because they'll make things worse, because I hate myself even more for feeling like a victim when I was wrong, because you have every right to be upset and I know you'll be okay with me again, maybe soon, and we can put this behind us.
Because I want you to like me again, and I'm afraid if I say anything right now you won't.