casanova
I forgot how to laugh until today. It has been so long since I’ve laughed till my eyes have watered and there’s that ache in your stomach. It was when my friend fell of the bus this morning. I feel guilty laughing at his misfortune.
Tuesday night was Halloween, not a one to disregard.
I met up with Luke and his friends after work. He was gracious at first, buying me my favourite drink, leading me to a seat next to his. We always look good together, even though everyone thinks we are brother and sister. I think we look visually pleasing together, fair haired and bluey eyed, perhaps a touch of Swedish.
I like the pub we visited, although blue and yellow paint glared painfully, the ladylike pint of beer I had, seemed to dull it a bit. It was quite relaxing, sitting back and watching people having fun in their Halloween costumes, but still, I couldn’t stay silent for too long, we wouldn’t want any of those awkward silences, would we?
I was thoroughly enjoying myself, being nice to his friends, smiling and I even tried to be myself. It was so fresh, like the smell of a new car; I couldn’t get enough of it.
We wandered to the night club independent, the band satisfying my ears, the dark gloomy corners where a dressed up witch and skeleton would be holding hands, giving each other the occasional peck on the cheek. Luke wandered away, he seems so popular like he knows everyone, but I just wandered away myself, I would hate to appear a cling on.
Shame he let me sit on my own for too long. I started getting slightly annoyed when I was left for thirty five minutes with the likes of people where there, who were old flames. It wasn’t too bad, the old flames had been put out and the ashes swept away a long time ago, but I think it annoys the old flame because I don’t hate him. I think it annoys him because I don’t care. He kept on doing annoying acts, to get me frustrated, or to get give him a horrible look. I would have hated to give the satisfaction, so I would just smile agonizingly.
Its funny how those substances can alter ones personality in just ten seconds. He couldn’t have grabbed me any tighter but I still felt like I was drifting away, like when a child lets go of a helium balloon, itinerant off in any direction. I rescued him from the bouncers at the door who kindly advised me to get him away, otherwise they’ll destroy him. I grabbed his arm and dragged him off. He wasn’t him, I dragged away a stranger with the same face, but even his smile was different. Such a shame he feels the need, he’s such a beautiful person.
Tonight was better.
I didn’t stay at his house for too long. I collected my mobile which I did accidentally leave on his bed. He made me tea and we talked. He asked me if I understood why he wasn’t leaving his house. I just smiled and friendly tapped his hand. I hope he understood I did understand. We knew we could only be friends, that sparkle wasn't there.
I loved the walk back to the bus stop, kicking the autumn leaves, talking to myself. Sometimes I don’t like being alone, and the comfort of my own voice soothes and reassures myself. Watching the people walk past me and shudder with the blast of cold that has arrived this evening.
Who are you? I can’t find a name to ensemble you. I found names for everyone else. But not for you. You’re the boy that looks like Casanova: A heart for every beautiful woman but translucent eyes like the sea in Malta. I have never met anyone like you before.
Tuesday night was Halloween, not a one to disregard.
I met up with Luke and his friends after work. He was gracious at first, buying me my favourite drink, leading me to a seat next to his. We always look good together, even though everyone thinks we are brother and sister. I think we look visually pleasing together, fair haired and bluey eyed, perhaps a touch of Swedish.
I like the pub we visited, although blue and yellow paint glared painfully, the ladylike pint of beer I had, seemed to dull it a bit. It was quite relaxing, sitting back and watching people having fun in their Halloween costumes, but still, I couldn’t stay silent for too long, we wouldn’t want any of those awkward silences, would we?
I was thoroughly enjoying myself, being nice to his friends, smiling and I even tried to be myself. It was so fresh, like the smell of a new car; I couldn’t get enough of it.
We wandered to the night club independent, the band satisfying my ears, the dark gloomy corners where a dressed up witch and skeleton would be holding hands, giving each other the occasional peck on the cheek. Luke wandered away, he seems so popular like he knows everyone, but I just wandered away myself, I would hate to appear a cling on.
Shame he let me sit on my own for too long. I started getting slightly annoyed when I was left for thirty five minutes with the likes of people where there, who were old flames. It wasn’t too bad, the old flames had been put out and the ashes swept away a long time ago, but I think it annoys the old flame because I don’t hate him. I think it annoys him because I don’t care. He kept on doing annoying acts, to get me frustrated, or to get give him a horrible look. I would have hated to give the satisfaction, so I would just smile agonizingly.
Its funny how those substances can alter ones personality in just ten seconds. He couldn’t have grabbed me any tighter but I still felt like I was drifting away, like when a child lets go of a helium balloon, itinerant off in any direction. I rescued him from the bouncers at the door who kindly advised me to get him away, otherwise they’ll destroy him. I grabbed his arm and dragged him off. He wasn’t him, I dragged away a stranger with the same face, but even his smile was different. Such a shame he feels the need, he’s such a beautiful person.
Tonight was better.
I didn’t stay at his house for too long. I collected my mobile which I did accidentally leave on his bed. He made me tea and we talked. He asked me if I understood why he wasn’t leaving his house. I just smiled and friendly tapped his hand. I hope he understood I did understand. We knew we could only be friends, that sparkle wasn't there.
I loved the walk back to the bus stop, kicking the autumn leaves, talking to myself. Sometimes I don’t like being alone, and the comfort of my own voice soothes and reassures myself. Watching the people walk past me and shudder with the blast of cold that has arrived this evening.
Who are you? I can’t find a name to ensemble you. I found names for everyone else. But not for you. You’re the boy that looks like Casanova: A heart for every beautiful woman but translucent eyes like the sea in Malta. I have never met anyone like you before.