"Dirty Talk": Hate Speech Towards Women
These things are insulting and would warrant a knife-fight with another man:
"You dirty little slut."
"Bitch, I'm going to split you apart."
"Oh, you like that, don't you, you little whore?"
(etc.)
All of these things are hateful towards women; slut, bitch, and whore have been used throughout history to justify the oppression and physical and emotional harm of women. If a woman is any of these things, then she deserves what's coming to her, the thinking goes. When a man labels any of these words to a woman, her motives and trustworthiness are automatically suspect; she has been reduced to something less than a person. Likewise, the notion of "splitting her apart" is inherently violent; so is the notion of "ramming", "choking", "pounding", and "drilling".
Said to a man, these things are mortal insults. Said to a woman, they become sexual, a turn-on. Pornography generally teaches this, but why on Earth would anyone find using hateful and gender-loaded terms on women arousing?
The reason is this: women are, as many have said, the sex class. Because they are female, and as such things instead of people - masturbation toys - it is not a crime to hate them as a group as one would blacks, or Mexicans, or Jews. Men learn from pictures and videos that women are objects, because the women cannot speak to them, cannot tell them of their hopes and dreams and failures. Men learn through their orgasms and arousal that women are objects; the still, lifeless bodies of women - or, alternately, the bodies of women posed and made attractive especially for the viewing male and/or by the males inside the videos - are burned into men's minds through orgasm. They learn this: women are not just objects, they are sexual objects.
Women are sexual fetishes for men; there is no deeper attraction to mind or passion. They are fuck toys; responsive fuck toys, yes, but fuck toys nonetheless - good for the moment and eminently disposable when they become inconvenient, thrown away like the rotting bodies of butchered animals. That is why men leave, why men cheat; women are things. They are interchangeable parts, useless once their ego-stroking value has been lost. Naomi Wolf, in her book The Beauty Myth, wrote about the phenomenon of trophy wives. She said that women were mirrors for men, allowing them to reject the knowledge of their own mortality. I disagree. Women aren't just mirrors for men; they're reflective fleshlights for men, good not only because they reflect back their owner in a golden light to others and to himself, but because, once cracked, they can be hated without fear of repercussion; and because, until that point, they can be fucked. Even though a woman is an object, she is a sexual object, the sexual object of objects. (And on a slightly off-topic note, thin reflections make one look ever so much taller.)
Because women are the sex class, anything that is done to them becomes sexual and it is allowed to be that way. When a man kills a woman, he gets off light by saying she cheated on him; when a man rapes a woman, he says she is a whore and a slut and nobody doubts his words; after all, women are the sex class. That's what they're made for, so that's obviously what they do best.
So when there is hate against women, it becomes sexual. Rage against women becomes sexual; harm against women becomes sexual; hate against women becomes sexual. It is all sexual, from "whore" to "prude". Men use these words against women because women are the sex class, and the best ways to take them down is by saying that they are either too sexual or not sexual enough. They fail or they fail. It is not the Virgin/Whore dichotomy anymore; it's the Prude/Whore dichotomy.
They do, after all, say that a slut is a woman who sleeps with everyone but you. (And it is infuriating to men that an object be able to choose what it wants to do.)
I understand now some of what Dworkin meant in Pornography: Men Possessing Women.
"You dirty little slut."
"Bitch, I'm going to split you apart."
"Oh, you like that, don't you, you little whore?"
(etc.)
All of these things are hateful towards women; slut, bitch, and whore have been used throughout history to justify the oppression and physical and emotional harm of women. If a woman is any of these things, then she deserves what's coming to her, the thinking goes. When a man labels any of these words to a woman, her motives and trustworthiness are automatically suspect; she has been reduced to something less than a person. Likewise, the notion of "splitting her apart" is inherently violent; so is the notion of "ramming", "choking", "pounding", and "drilling".
Said to a man, these things are mortal insults. Said to a woman, they become sexual, a turn-on. Pornography generally teaches this, but why on Earth would anyone find using hateful and gender-loaded terms on women arousing?
The reason is this: women are, as many have said, the sex class. Because they are female, and as such things instead of people - masturbation toys - it is not a crime to hate them as a group as one would blacks, or Mexicans, or Jews. Men learn from pictures and videos that women are objects, because the women cannot speak to them, cannot tell them of their hopes and dreams and failures. Men learn through their orgasms and arousal that women are objects; the still, lifeless bodies of women - or, alternately, the bodies of women posed and made attractive especially for the viewing male and/or by the males inside the videos - are burned into men's minds through orgasm. They learn this: women are not just objects, they are sexual objects.
Women are sexual fetishes for men; there is no deeper attraction to mind or passion. They are fuck toys; responsive fuck toys, yes, but fuck toys nonetheless - good for the moment and eminently disposable when they become inconvenient, thrown away like the rotting bodies of butchered animals. That is why men leave, why men cheat; women are things. They are interchangeable parts, useless once their ego-stroking value has been lost. Naomi Wolf, in her book The Beauty Myth, wrote about the phenomenon of trophy wives. She said that women were mirrors for men, allowing them to reject the knowledge of their own mortality. I disagree. Women aren't just mirrors for men; they're reflective fleshlights for men, good not only because they reflect back their owner in a golden light to others and to himself, but because, once cracked, they can be hated without fear of repercussion; and because, until that point, they can be fucked. Even though a woman is an object, she is a sexual object, the sexual object of objects. (And on a slightly off-topic note, thin reflections make one look ever so much taller.)
Because women are the sex class, anything that is done to them becomes sexual and it is allowed to be that way. When a man kills a woman, he gets off light by saying she cheated on him; when a man rapes a woman, he says she is a whore and a slut and nobody doubts his words; after all, women are the sex class. That's what they're made for, so that's obviously what they do best.
So when there is hate against women, it becomes sexual. Rage against women becomes sexual; harm against women becomes sexual; hate against women becomes sexual. It is all sexual, from "whore" to "prude". Men use these words against women because women are the sex class, and the best ways to take them down is by saying that they are either too sexual or not sexual enough. They fail or they fail. It is not the Virgin/Whore dichotomy anymore; it's the Prude/Whore dichotomy.
They do, after all, say that a slut is a woman who sleeps with everyone but you. (And it is infuriating to men that an object be able to choose what it wants to do.)
I understand now some of what Dworkin meant in Pornography: Men Possessing Women.