DRABBLE: Over-overanalyzing (Anthony/Daphne, Michael, Terry)
Author: captainpookey
Recipient: roses_at_sunset for the rarepair_shorts Summer Wishlist Event.
Title: Over-overanalyzing
Pairing: Anthony/Daphne
Request: "overanalyzing" - The author probably meant something a little different with this prompt, but I couldn't help it; this absurd image popped into my head the moment I read that.
Rating: PG / PG-13
Word Count: ~830
Summary: Anthony gets a date and Michael is bent on finding the ulterior motives behind this occurrence.
Author's Notes: If you really want to know what a 'lethifold' is, read here, but basically it's a dementor-like monster that kills/eats people in their sleep. haha.
“Let me get this right,” Michael started, his back turned to a humiliated Anthony and a bemused Terry, who were seated on the couch in Michael’s living room. Michael had tacked a big piece of misshapen parchment to the opposite wall and had proceeded to scribble a whole number of things onto it. His arms were stained with ink, and the fresh quill he’d started out with was nicely mangled.
“We’re waiting,” Terry said.
“Okay,” Michael began again, and rounded on Anthony. “So you were in the Archives-“
“Where I work, yes,” Anthony sighed in exasperation.
“-In aisle 16, letter L, getting a tomb on lethifolds for the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures.”
“Yes.”
“And, as we’ve established ‘lethifold’, when rearranged, can also spell ‘If The Old L’-“
“-which is still totally pointless information, Michael-“ Terry interjected.
“And,” Michael continued, pointing at words and phrases on the large parchment as he spoke, “As you were searching for this book, Daphne Greengress appeared around the corner-“
“-Which is, coincidentally, your last name,” Terry pointed out in a mock imitation of Michael’s seriousness, but Michael ignored him.
“-And asked you to help her find a book on counterfeit galleons, circa 1809, for the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, of which she is a head officer. And this department, as we so keenly discerned, is exactly one floor away from the department that employed you much earlier in the afternoon to find the previously mentioned book about lethifolds.” Michael paused to stare at his parchment and after a short moment circled the phrases LETHIFOLD and ONE FLOOR BETWEEN and drew another of many arrows that criss-crossed the notes.
“Then what happened?” he asked Anthony, chewing his lip.
“I helped her find the book, like I said, and she asked me what I was doing for dinner.”
“Right!” Michael shouted and gestured the quill wildly at Anthony. Anthony and Terry flinched as blots of ink spotted their faces and chests. “Right!” Michael exclaimed again and turned back to the parchment. “And dinner is only one syllable-phonetically, of course-away from ‘murder’, which is what the Department of Magical Law Enforcement tries to prevent.”
“Uh huh… Michael, I really think you ought to-“ Anthony interrupted, but Michael emphatically waved his words away.
“And if you take ‘murder’ and ‘if the old L’ and add them together you get ‘murder the old L’, and Lyons, as we know, is a very old man and happens to be the head of the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes, which is the floor between your book's floor and hers!”
“What happened to the ‘if’?” Terry bated.
“Yeah!” Anthony concurred.
Michael glared at them. Anthony raised his hands in defeat and let his friend carry on.
“So in conclusion,” Michael stated, pointing at the large phrase CONCLUSION: written in the bottom corner of the parchment, “Greengrass asked you out because she wants to distract you while she and her Death Eater cronies try to murder Lyons with a lethifold tonight in his sleep and take over the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes.”
There was a moment wherein nobody chose to speak. Terry broke it; “Michael, you’re forgetting one thing.”
“What?” he asked, horrified and looking over his notes.
“That makes no sense,” Terry said.
Anthony stood up, silently, and yanked the quill out of Michael’s hand while Michael was busy fumbling for a reply. Anthony drew a very large ‘X’ through Michael’s parchment and flipped it over to the blank side before tacking it back to the wall.
“Let’s try this,” he said and wrote out across the middle in very simple all-capital letters DAPHNE GREENGRASS, ANTHONY GOLDSTEIN, DATE. He circled her name and drew an arrow to his and over the arrow wrote SHE LIKES HIM. Then at the bottom of the parchment he wrote CONCLUSION:
He hesitated a moment and chewed on the end of the quill before quickly penning out MICHAEL CORNER IS A NUTTER.
Terry grinned and gave Anthony a round of applause.
“That’s way too simple. That doesn’t make sense,” Michael objected, glaring at the new list.
“Of course it does,” Anthony said brightly as he handed Michael back the quill.
“Yeah, Mike, what are you on? How many cups of coffee have you had today, anyway?”
“Um.” Michael squinted above their heads and silently began to count on his fingers.
“Michael?”
“Er, let’s see. Around about nine, I think,” he finally admitted. “Maybe ten.”
“Well, that makes more sense then,” Terry sighed.
“Yeah, you get a bit batty after four, Mike, you may want to cut down, or else go take a nap or something.”
“So where are you and Daphne going to dinner?” Terry asked Anthony.
“I haven’t decided yet,” Anthony chirped, “I was hoping you guys could help me with that.”
“I can help!” Michael exclaimed. He scribbled out Anthony’s list and grinned manically at the two of them. “If you-“
“NO!” Terry and Anthony both shouted at the same time.
“No more ‘help’ from you.”
Recipient: roses_at_sunset for the rarepair_shorts Summer Wishlist Event.
Title: Over-overanalyzing
Pairing: Anthony/Daphne
Request: "overanalyzing" - The author probably meant something a little different with this prompt, but I couldn't help it; this absurd image popped into my head the moment I read that.
Rating: PG / PG-13
Word Count: ~830
Summary: Anthony gets a date and Michael is bent on finding the ulterior motives behind this occurrence.
Author's Notes: If you really want to know what a 'lethifold' is, read here, but basically it's a dementor-like monster that kills/eats people in their sleep. haha.
“Let me get this right,” Michael started, his back turned to a humiliated Anthony and a bemused Terry, who were seated on the couch in Michael’s living room. Michael had tacked a big piece of misshapen parchment to the opposite wall and had proceeded to scribble a whole number of things onto it. His arms were stained with ink, and the fresh quill he’d started out with was nicely mangled.
“We’re waiting,” Terry said.
“Okay,” Michael began again, and rounded on Anthony. “So you were in the Archives-“
“Where I work, yes,” Anthony sighed in exasperation.
“-In aisle 16, letter L, getting a tomb on lethifolds for the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures.”
“Yes.”
“And, as we’ve established ‘lethifold’, when rearranged, can also spell ‘If The Old L’-“
“-which is still totally pointless information, Michael-“ Terry interjected.
“And,” Michael continued, pointing at words and phrases on the large parchment as he spoke, “As you were searching for this book, Daphne Greengress appeared around the corner-“
“-Which is, coincidentally, your last name,” Terry pointed out in a mock imitation of Michael’s seriousness, but Michael ignored him.
“-And asked you to help her find a book on counterfeit galleons, circa 1809, for the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, of which she is a head officer. And this department, as we so keenly discerned, is exactly one floor away from the department that employed you much earlier in the afternoon to find the previously mentioned book about lethifolds.” Michael paused to stare at his parchment and after a short moment circled the phrases LETHIFOLD and ONE FLOOR BETWEEN and drew another of many arrows that criss-crossed the notes.
“Then what happened?” he asked Anthony, chewing his lip.
“I helped her find the book, like I said, and she asked me what I was doing for dinner.”
“Right!” Michael shouted and gestured the quill wildly at Anthony. Anthony and Terry flinched as blots of ink spotted their faces and chests. “Right!” Michael exclaimed again and turned back to the parchment. “And dinner is only one syllable-phonetically, of course-away from ‘murder’, which is what the Department of Magical Law Enforcement tries to prevent.”
“Uh huh… Michael, I really think you ought to-“ Anthony interrupted, but Michael emphatically waved his words away.
“And if you take ‘murder’ and ‘if the old L’ and add them together you get ‘murder the old L’, and Lyons, as we know, is a very old man and happens to be the head of the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes, which is the floor between your book's floor and hers!”
“What happened to the ‘if’?” Terry bated.
“Yeah!” Anthony concurred.
Michael glared at them. Anthony raised his hands in defeat and let his friend carry on.
“So in conclusion,” Michael stated, pointing at the large phrase CONCLUSION: written in the bottom corner of the parchment, “Greengrass asked you out because she wants to distract you while she and her Death Eater cronies try to murder Lyons with a lethifold tonight in his sleep and take over the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes.”
There was a moment wherein nobody chose to speak. Terry broke it; “Michael, you’re forgetting one thing.”
“What?” he asked, horrified and looking over his notes.
“That makes no sense,” Terry said.
Anthony stood up, silently, and yanked the quill out of Michael’s hand while Michael was busy fumbling for a reply. Anthony drew a very large ‘X’ through Michael’s parchment and flipped it over to the blank side before tacking it back to the wall.
“Let’s try this,” he said and wrote out across the middle in very simple all-capital letters DAPHNE GREENGRASS, ANTHONY GOLDSTEIN, DATE. He circled her name and drew an arrow to his and over the arrow wrote SHE LIKES HIM. Then at the bottom of the parchment he wrote CONCLUSION:
He hesitated a moment and chewed on the end of the quill before quickly penning out MICHAEL CORNER IS A NUTTER.
Terry grinned and gave Anthony a round of applause.
“That’s way too simple. That doesn’t make sense,” Michael objected, glaring at the new list.
“Of course it does,” Anthony said brightly as he handed Michael back the quill.
“Yeah, Mike, what are you on? How many cups of coffee have you had today, anyway?”
“Um.” Michael squinted above their heads and silently began to count on his fingers.
“Michael?”
“Er, let’s see. Around about nine, I think,” he finally admitted. “Maybe ten.”
“Well, that makes more sense then,” Terry sighed.
“Yeah, you get a bit batty after four, Mike, you may want to cut down, or else go take a nap or something.”
“So where are you and Daphne going to dinner?” Terry asked Anthony.
“I haven’t decided yet,” Anthony chirped, “I was hoping you guys could help me with that.”
“I can help!” Michael exclaimed. He scribbled out Anthony’s list and grinned manically at the two of them. “If you-“
“NO!” Terry and Anthony both shouted at the same time.
“No more ‘help’ from you.”