So Hateful
Shit. So tonight, instead of listening to all the sad songs until I feel emo, I'm here a-watching the Boondocks marathon. I tried listening to my favourite sad music while painting tonight, but they negated each other or something. I was hoping to get real sad for a minute just for something to do, but it didn't happen and I've since moved on. Now I guess I'm just bored. Hence the livejournal.
In general, I just don't feel like it anymore... "it" as in "anything." Now that I've started to enjoy my vacation, the shit done hit the fan and I'm supposed to be doing my homework and scholarship applications. I find scholarship applications degrading in the extreme, even if they ARE offering me $15,000 a year. Something about the questions about my community service and leadership activities always makes me feel worthless and hateful. And then the whole family gets involved, which only makes things MORE miserable. Piss.
Aaaaannd... I don't know what comes next. All this talk of scholarships and college makes me want to join a posse of artsy kids so we can sit around on the floor in a dimly lit room, smoking and drinking and trying to be deep while we wait for something vaguely meaningful to happen. If nothing else, it would be funny for a couple of minutes... and then I'd have to find something more constructive to do. Which I should also start doing about now-ish.
There are some new posts up on my Deviantart account... aaaand I had an interesting dream last night where I was involved with the leader of a gang, who had recently began a war with another gang. And there was some bizzare violence and the like. I was also in a spelling bee and could spell very well out-loud, which I can't do when I'm awake. Go figure on that one.
In general, I just don't feel like it anymore... "it" as in "anything." Now that I've started to enjoy my vacation, the shit done hit the fan and I'm supposed to be doing my homework and scholarship applications. I find scholarship applications degrading in the extreme, even if they ARE offering me $15,000 a year. Something about the questions about my community service and leadership activities always makes me feel worthless and hateful. And then the whole family gets involved, which only makes things MORE miserable. Piss.
Aaaaannd... I don't know what comes next. All this talk of scholarships and college makes me want to join a posse of artsy kids so we can sit around on the floor in a dimly lit room, smoking and drinking and trying to be deep while we wait for something vaguely meaningful to happen. If nothing else, it would be funny for a couple of minutes... and then I'd have to find something more constructive to do. Which I should also start doing about now-ish.
There are some new posts up on my Deviantart account... aaaand I had an interesting dream last night where I was involved with the leader of a gang, who had recently began a war with another gang. And there was some bizzare violence and the like. I was also in a spelling bee and could spell very well out-loud, which I can't do when I'm awake. Go figure on that one.