i was drunk.. and wrote this for english comp class

Dec 05, 2005 12:01

Payback

Setting: The snowy outside of a neighborhood. The main character, Fred is walking with a group of his friends. The street is very snowy and unplowed.

The group of characters is seen walking down the street.

Fred: man, I’m bored.. We should fuckin steal something.

Johnny: you see the Robinson house, they are super religious… it will piss them off so much if you mess up their nativity scene.

Fred.. I don’t know.. I don’t want to grab the Jesus that will just feel wrong.

Johnny. You pussy, then take the fucking camel. No one cares about fucking camels.

Fred. Fine.. I will take the fucking camel.

Fred slowly walks to the yard and stealthily grabs the nativity scene camel. He runs immediately back to his house. The gang of people with him dismembers and heads off in separate directions.

Back in Fred’s home, he is sitting and staring at the camel. He says… that is so stupid looking, why would anyone buy such a stupid thing. Suddenly he goes to hit it, and rubs it ever so swiftly. A large puff of smoke emerges, and a large obscene looking genie comes out of a puff of smoke. He belches and drops a beer can.

Fred: What the fuck is going on.?

Genie: Ohh ho ho hey there little buddy, I am a genie.

Fred:… what… the FUCK!
Fred: you smell like booze.

Genie. Hey… you can have some wishes boy.. have some.

Fred. Why are you not wearing clothing?!

Genie. What are your wishes?

Fred. No Way. You are fucking with me.

Genie. You have saved me from that shitty camel, you have 3 wishes.

Fred. I cannot believe a man, not wearing clothing, who is blue and so obviously off his ass that he came out of a camel.

Fred: fine. Ill wish. Not that you can do anything, you blue jackass.

Fred: How bout you give me a million dollars… and also a fast car… and I want to be able to fly.

Genie: your wish is my command homio.

Genie: They will be granted in 7-10 business days.

The genie sketchily looks around at shelves and things.

Fred: 7- 10 business days?

The genie slowly edges away…
He is seen in another room with a big garbage bag stealing things.

Fred following: What the fuck are you doing?

Genie: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Genie: I uh… gotta go.

Genie leaves out the front door.

Fred: well SHIT I was just robbed by a fucking genie… fantastic.

In front of a sketchy looking convenience store.

The genie is seen smoking cigarettes and drinking a forty. Ends with him winking ever so creepily.

off my ass

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