blah
wow. today just is a realy kinda wacky bad day. i realized why it was so bad, too, cuz im just screwed up enought to analyze it to the point where i know what the issue is. i realized that the reason i wasnt happy was because im not going to be able to see annabell for a while - that was the obvious part. that kinda set the ball rolling. then i missed her on the way out of the house so i couldnt drop off the journal. and i kinda need a tiny something to wrap up the car ride. so i just kinda got stuck in this rut. then i asked myself why i was in a rut and angry. and i responded that it was that i have no live and that annabell always seamed to be off with friends. then i realized that that was more the problem. shes always off doing things with her friends becuase she has most of the people in her life here in town. my friends are pretty much in new haven, west haven, oxford and ansonia. you think i get to see them much? of course not. so i figured i need a life, i.e. get a job to pay the insurance to get and drive a car so i can hang out with friends. then i started thinking... did i give up the couple friends in madison where i could see them regularly and hang out, but also deal with the other shits and go to a harder school to go to one that was easier, funner, where i have a wonderfully diverse friends that i rarely get to see any time other than school and sailing and hence have fucky weekends. i decided to suck it up after realizing i had indeed made the better decision, ..... its 2124 and i just called annabell who's been at a beach party all day, which is kinda what started this all and i guess its kinda ending it too. [now basically reading this insert to her]..... wow im fucked up.... ok. its 2151 and i just got off the phone with annabell and we kinda straightened things out and learned that she just prioritizes and runs her life very much differently than myself, which kinda works and kinda doesnt. but she was nice and changed the subject, which i was happy to go along with and she told me some sweet stuff, and i had some sweeter stuff to tell her, but we didnt have time so its elsewhere. but im alright now. im reading cutewendy and girly at http://go-girly.com. then ill go do ned's hw that ive been ignoring. actualy, ill go do it now, while im still thinking of it and awake enought to do it. and trying to improve my mood my getting psyched about the road trip to gloucester on tuesday
night, m'dears